


Song Of Genesis

by echaryn



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Tragedy, Blood and Gore, Consensual, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Heartache, Heartbreak, Horror, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Oral Sex, Romance, Sad, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Shameless Smut, Sweet, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-08-30 18:28:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 45,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8544379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echaryn/pseuds/echaryn
Summary: Ace knows it's wrong. The freaking biggest mistake. And yet he can't stay away, he can't look away, he has to see him, his ex, one last time - even if it means meeting his new lover. And god, does it hurt, every step. And yet, Ace can't stop. That demon inside him demands to keep walking, even if his heart is so bloody and beaten, he wonders how it keeps on beating...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone,
> 
> This is my second AceSabo fic, and surely not the last. I just adore the ship so so much and I hope you enjoy reading the story as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> No, it's not incest, they are not related, they do not share DNA and they are aware they are not related. In this setting, they're two normal adults.
> 
> Special thanks to:  
> xTheCherryx - thank you so much for helping with the story and your motivation and inspiration! It really helped talking about the idea and I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
>  
> 
> If you'd like to chat with me about fics or anything else really, feel free to talk to me through tumblr: http://echaryn.tumblr.com/
> 
> I don't own One Piece nor any of the characters.

********

 

_**"The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again" – Charles Dickens** _

 

********

 

 

**Ace**

 

The conductor passes Ace a sceptical glance when he moves through the warm, thankfully nearly empty waggon toward the exit. The man’s bushy brows are drawn together and he looks both irritated and concerned. Ace can’t blame him, to be honest. The station is in the middle of nowhere and the day draws to a close.

“Sir, will you be alright?” the conductor even asks as he’s about to step down the few stairs onto the platform. Ace glances up and down the completely empty station. Only a few pigeons coo reassuringly at the far end. There’s no one to pick him up, and a lonely, cold breeze tugs at his hair, pushing him back to go inside. He’s of half a heart to do so.

“Ah yes, I’ll be fine,” Ace says with a fleeting smile.

“Well, have a pleasant evening,” the conductor says with a snort and Ace nods politely and steps onto the platform. The icy air hits him like a slap in the face. The doors close behind him and he feels queasy when he watches the train gain pace and soon he can hardly see nor hear it anymore.

And he’s alone.

He rubs his chest and takes a deep breath. His hands are sweaty and he grips the strap of his bag a little tighter. The air smells like cold rain and wood and earth. No wonder – he’s surrounded by fields and shitty roads, woods and meadows. He can dimly see cows and sheep black against the dirty blue night sky and weak stars are blinking down at him through thickening clouds.

It’s a mellow atmosphere, quiet, perhaps a little suspicious, but the only suspicious thing here is Ace himself, and he knows that. It’s mid-November and the dropping temperatures sting Ace’s weary consciousness, it’s only barely above zero. He blows into his uncovered hands. They look unhealthily waxen and he curses himself. He should’ve brought gloves. His phone tells him that they will get biting minus degrees tonight, reaching late into the next morning.

He starts walking. Slowly, reluctantly even, and inside his chest his heart speeds up painfully.

The damn, silly, old thing.

It’s been troubling him for way too long now.

He sighs, taking out his phone to type a few quick responses, more to distract himself than to communicate with his friends, but it’s futile, anyways – his heart is one persistent piece of shit.

It hasn’t stopped aching since he stepped out of the train, onto the empty, forgotten train station scratching at the outskirts of their city. In fact, his heart has been aching since he got into that godforsaken train more than an hour ago, at the central train station, close to his old university campus.

No, actually his stupid heart hasn’t stopped aching for almost two years.

A terribly long time to suffer from heartache, truly. Everyone says that.

Like it’s so easy to get rid of. To heal.

Ace smiles sadly to himself, his feet starting to freeze uncomfortably in his thin shoes. He’s so unprepared, isn’t he? He always is.

 

********

 

It’s almost 8 pm. Not a reasonable time to be out alone, so far away from any civilization, on a Friday evening in mid-November. Without a car.

But Ace is known to be reckless. And moronic. And impulsive.

And unable to move on.

He sighs and throws his bag over his shoulder, ignoring the growing pain inside his chest. It’s nothing new, though, and it certainly doesn’t have a physical source, because if it had, he would’ve done something about it already a long time ago.

But like this… it’s not really easy to treat.

His heart hasn’t stopped aching for twenty months, which seems like a terribly long time, and it is, in a way, and yet…it really isn’t.

At least, for Ace, it was by far not enough time to treat the pain inside his chest. And so he’s been carrying it around with him, and in an ironic, twisted way it almost became an accessory, a steady dark shade beneath his eyes and cheeks, the constant sharp line of his mouth even when smiling, the ever-lasting dull gleam in his pupils that were ones so bright and fiery. But alas, his friends had gotten used to it. And so, Ace did too.

_Twenty months, huh?_

Of course, at first it was…diabolical, a thousand tiny little daggers piercing through him, at every waking second, minute, hour of the day. And only gradually, slowly, it’s become a dull, bearable throbbing, a constant companion through his every day work and life, and yet… He can’t seem to get rid of it. So he’s just gotten used to it. What else should he do, anyways?

Slice his chest open and take out the broken thing and put a new one in?

Well, he would if he could. Yes, he would, he’d do it in an instant.

But he can’t.

And that’s the reason he’s here. That’s the reason why, once again, after such a long time, he is being an idiot again and he’s about to hurt his already beaten heart even more. Like it hasn’t suffered enough yet.

He does it, although his head tells him he should not go, he should not hurt himself like that again, he can’t help it. His reason tells him to turn on his heel and walk the way back to the train station, heck, walk the entire way back to the city, but…

There’s this evil little demon inside of him, relishing in his inner turmoil, savouring his misery. The small little demon that tells him to keep going, the one that tells him that it’s a good idea and that he won’t regret it, the one that makes his feet move forward, even when everything else inside him screams to turn around.

Yeah, that fucking little demon called _hope_.

And Ace…despite what happened twenty months ago…

His hope, although bloody and bent, isn’t broken yet.

His demon refuses to die.

Just yet.

 

********

 

The house Sabo now lives in is as far away from the city as can be, without actually leaving the outskirts. So technically he still lives in the city, _their_ city – but it’s a sixty-minute train ride away.

Ace was surprised when he looked the address up on Google. He’s so way out…it’s unlike Sabo. The man is a lecturer now, at least according to their friends. Before they…fell apart, they’d both still been students and living close to their campus. So Ace finds it strange that he lives so far away from his workplace. It’s nearly a 40-minute-drive to campus with the car. But who knows, maybe he has generous lecture hours and can avoid the rush hour, Ace has no idea, he can merely speculate.

But Sabo has never been one to purposely avoid the company of others. He used to invite their friends and neighbours over all the time, he loved being close to everyone and be within walking distance to all their favourite places, he also loved being able to just quickly walk down to the street corner and buy groceries or cooking ingredients, because he is a forgetful person.

He loved surrounding himself with people, friends, neighbours, fellow students, working colleagues. He wasn’t a loner.

In fact, Sabo didn’t like being alone at all.

So him living all on his own now, so far away…is strange. Very odd indeed.

 

Ace stops walking when he sees the house and against his will, he holds his breath. It’s smaller than he thought, more a cottage than anything else and it’s situated at the foot of a hill, surrounded by quiet forests and romantic woodlands. Behind the cot, apparently, a pretty vast nature reserve starts, so he doesn’t have any neighbours.

Well, he does, but the next neighbour is some weird politician who according to rumours is a regular in several sex clubs in the city and lives fifteen minutes northward from here.

So Sabo is all on his own out here.

Or perhaps he isn’t anymore, because Ace heard his friends talk – behind his back of curse, because they know he’d be upset, but he found it out anyways.

His friends had tried to hide the truth to spare him the pain, but there was no helping it, delaying the pain doesn’t ease it in the slightest, if anything it makes it worse. And they eventually told him about Sabo’s new found love.

Ace still remembers clearly the concern colouring their faces pale, the worried smiles on their lips, as though they wondered if he’d have a breakdown when he’d hear the news.

He didn’t have a breakdown, not so long he was surrounded by people that were important to him. Bu then, when he was alone in his flat again... He’d become weak. And then he’d grabbed a bottle of tequila and a few lemons, and then he’d grabbed whiskey and wine and drank himself into a brutal stupor and the next lonely morning he’d woken up with a terrible hangover and a gaping, bleeding hole in his chest that was invisible to everyone else but him.

He has been expecting it. Of course, eventually… He’d expected to eventually hear that Sabo has found someone new. And he’d tried preparing himself for it, although that was not successful at all, as it turned out.

It _is_ still tough on him. He should’ve expected that, too.

But he handled it. Somehow. By digging himself into his work and assignments, by drowning himself in alcohol, on his own or in the worried company of his friends. He’d distracted himself with punishing workout and miserable one-night-stands with faceless people that left him feeling filthy, empty and wasted.

Yes, _wasted_ is the right word. He just wasted away, not only after hearing the news about Sabo having found someone new. He’s been wasting away from the moment Sabo broke up with him. Ace likes to believe that over the last few months he’s been doing better already, that he was somewhat nearing a closure and he’d begun to like his life again…but then he’d heard about the news.

And his whole misery came right back at him to throw him back to the ground and trample on him, harder this time, and with more precision. And Ace wonders what’s worse, having someone you loved so deeply und unconditionally break up with you, or to learn the fact that this very person, the person you still love with all your being, has moved on and gave their heart to someone else that isn’t you and never will be you again.

And god he hated it, hated to hear about it. Hated it so much, hear their friends talk about him, he hated listening, he hated the way their words pierced his chest, but most of all he hated the fact that he was thirsting for it, longing for any small, insignificant piece of information on Sabo, he was craving to hear about him, although it pained him to no end.

It was so, so bad on his heart.

Hearing about Sabo having moved on. Hearing about Sabo having found someone else. Hearing about Sabo being happy again in a brand new, beautiful relationship. Hearing about Sabo not caring at all anymore about Ace and their shared past.

All these stories about Sabo moving on.

Whilst Ace…

Well, whilst Ace is still stuck in the past. And he’s been unable to move forward, even an inch.

He’s still stuck in the agony he fell into when Sabo…

When Sabo slapped the ring out of Ace’s hand.

He lets out a pained sigh. These old memories never fail to make him hurt all over again. It’s like having a wound that’s halfway closed again, and he keeps on reopening it, scratching the bloody scab off to feel the burning sting again, it’s just like that, just a hundred times, a thousand times worse.

_Sabo_ has been able to move on. _Sabo’s_ been able to leave it all behind.

And Ace is stuck in his misery. Like a complete fool he’s still stumbling through the dark. And part of him loves it. Loves his agony, loves his grief, loves his pain, because if he’s still hung up on it all, it means he doesn’t have to move forward at all.

Like that… he can maybe pretend that it’s not over yet.

His friends tell him to finally get his head out of his ass and move forward. But he can’t, not when there is this terrifyingly large part of him still longing for the one man who caused him all this pain in the first place.

 

********

 

And now Ace is here. He came to this place, despite the fact he told himself he wouldn’t. But the demon inside him can be frighteningly convincing.

And in a way, he’s glad he listened to the fucking demon. Because you can’t simply…shut out a person you’ve shared your life with, you can’t just shut them out and turn your back and never think of them again.

Well, yeah, of course you can, you can be childish and avoid seeing them and talking to them, you can force yourself not to think about them, however successful that is – but you can’t just erase their importance in your heart, you can’t force your heart not to care about them anymore, although it would be best if you would.

He’s been debating this trip for weeks. And now he’s here.

 

He sees several windows enlightened in the small cottage. Sabo’s car is parked at the side. The grey bricks are covered with ivy and the wooden door is painted red. There’s smoke coming out of the chimney. There’re potted plants framing the entrance door, although they look pretty dead in the cold weather. Small candles in jars are illuminating the stairs up to the door.

All in all…it looks dreamy and cosy, a little fairytale-like. Welcoming. And warm.

It suits Sabo, Ace finds.

He looks around. In the dark he believes to see the lawn of a garden stretch in the back of the property, before it ends right before the edge of the forest. He frowns.

_Wait, was that…?_

He narrows his eyes.

_That can’t be…_

A lantern moving in the woods? Now this is some X-Files shit right there. But he’s sure about it, uphill, he is sure to see a shadow moving about; it’s clear against the unmoving blackness of the trees. It’s like the person is holding a flashlight in their hands. Ace relaxes a little. Maybe it’s just a lone wanderer walking in the forest.

_But this late?_

Ace shrugs. Or maybe it’s a ranger just doing his job, who knows.

 

He takes a deep breath. Sabo would freak out, tough. Both of them aren’t exactly fond of horror movies, Sabo les even than Ace. And his ex-boyfriend wouldn’t like it at all that a stranger with a torch is wandering around the forest just right behind his garden. But it’s not Ace’s business anymore, is it? Sabo moved here deliberately. So he must deal with such things… And it’s not Ace’s job anymore to protect him.

He grins tiredly to himself.

_Yeah, keep telling yourself that, you fool…_

He straightens his shoulder and steps closer to the front door. It really looks pretty, he has to admit. Definitely a home one would decide to stay living for a longer period of time.

To build a home, suiting all of one’s personal tastes and wishes. To build a home for a family, perhaps?

And with that thought, his short wonder gets replaced with dread. He wonders if Sabo’s new boyfriend is there with him and the thought alone tightens his stomach and a suffocating feeling starts rising in his chest. He internally chides himself for not having thought about that before.

He grits his teeth. He wonders if the guy is at Sabo’s side right now, just as Ace used to be. If the new guys makes Sabo smile right in this moment. If he tells Sabo how beautiful he is, the way Ace used to all this time ago.

He wonders if Sabo…if Sabo makes his new boyfriend feel like he’s the happiest man in the universe. The happiest and luckiest man.

 

Because that’s how Ace had felt whenever Sabo had been with him. Whenever the man had told him “I love you” in his thousand different ways of saying it.

Sometimes it’d be the quiet “Sleep tight” when they’d go to bed.

Sometimes it’d be “OHMYGOD did you the see shooting star?!? No? Ok then let’s share a wish, and no, don’t look at me like that, it’ll work this time!” when they’d be out late and on their way home, walking hand in hand and they’d study different parts of the sky to see as many passing meteors as possible.

Sometimes it’d be “You’re gonna fucking break your neck!!” when Ace was doing something dangerous and reckless again. Or was planning to do something dangerous and reckless.

Sometimes it’d be “Oh shit yes I totally forgot, thank you!” when Ace had reminded Sabo that he’d forgotten something at home or in the lecture room. Sabo is a very smart man, but he could be terribly forgetful. So Ace always made sure to remember for both of them.

Sometimes it’d be “Better leave me alone, please, I’m in a shit mood right now and I don’t wanna let it out on you” when Sabo was agitated and angry  when he came home from his workplace. Or when Ace was pissed off from his shift. They could both be hotheads.

But most of the times it was the quiet, cheerful “I love you”, said with an adoring smile and Sabo would’ve searched for Ace’s hand and Ace would lace their fingers together and reply: “I love you, too.”

And Sabo would smile, would smile such a gorgeous, gorgeous smile.

And Ace’s heart would sing and dance with love and joy and admiration.

Yeah, well…But that was all a long, long time ago.

 

Ace takes a deep breath. Cold, dead fear coils in his stomach and he feels slightly nauseous. He hasn’t seen Sabo in a very…very long time. Such a long time, and he still remembers so clearly, the way Sabo used to smile at him, the way Sabo’s lips felt when pressed against his own, the way his fingers felt when they held hands, the way his ocean blue eyes would glow whenever Ace told him he loved him, in the thousand different ways they had.

Such a long…long time ago.

And still not enough time to forget.

 

********

 

Ace swallows hard.

Twenty months ago sounds like it’s been a terribly long time, but still, whenever Ace recalls what happened that night…

_Fuck this…_

There used to be fire in Ace. Passion. Strength and faith. He’d loved his life, he’d loved the people surrounding him, and he’d loved the man at his side, the love of his life, the one man he wants to stay together with until the end of time.

And then… _that evening_ happened.

And of the man Ace once was, is nothing left.

The fire burned down to ashes.

 

********

 

He’d needed weeks to pluck up his courage, and months to save the money for the ring. He’d been turning it over and over in his head, if it was the right moment to do it, if it was the right time, both of them being twenty-two and together since they were seventeen. They’d already lived together at that time; they’d build a life around each other. It was all so picture-perfect and Ace had thought…

That it was a good idea.

It was April 6, last year. He still remembers that evening so punishingly clearly. It was after they’d had a nice dinner with countless candles illuminating the meal Ace has spent three hours preparing, and Ace remembers how they’ve both put the dirty dishes into the kitchen, and he’d made a joke and Sabo had been laughing. His blue eyes had been shining softly in the light of the candles in their apartment and he’d looked so unbelievably beautiful and Ace still remembers how his heart had skipped a beat, and then Ace had taken Sabo’s hand and led him back to their living room, Sabo had told him once again that he was the cheesiest being on earth, and Ace had laughed and then he’d turned around, with his heart beating so fast he thought it’d be audible across town, and he’d fallen on one knee in front of his boyfriend.

He still remembers Sabo’s face so clearly. His eyes, widening with shock, before the ocean blue became so cold and his face turned from surprised to aggressive and angry. The way he’d stumbled backwards against the book shelf with a loud rumble and books had fallen off the shelf and he’d been panting hard like he was fighting the urge to throw up.

_“NO! No, no, no, no, no, don’t, no!!!!”_

And Ace had been shocked and sad that he’d made Sabo so upset and he’d started stuttering an apology: “So-sorry, Sabo, listen, it’s ok, I get it, p-please calm down, s-see I’ll put the ring away, le-let’s talk about this, please Sabo –.”

But Sabo had been completely out of his mind, it’d been like he was an entirely different person, the way he’d yelled at him, he’d hurled so many hurtful words at him, he hadn’t even bothered listening that’s how much he’d soaked in his own anger, his whole body shaking with rage and fury and his hands were clenched to angry fists and his eyes were dark, void of any light, and so so hateful and furious and mean.

“GET THAT FUCKING THING OUT OF MY SIGHT AND WHO THE HELL GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO ASK ME THIS FUCKING QUESTION YOU DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT TO ASK ME ACE JUST WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME I HATE IT HATE IT I HATE THIS RING PUT THE RING AWAY RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!!!” and Ace had been hurt, so _hurt_ but he’d try to calm him down, but instead Sabo had shoved him away hard and then he’d slapped the ring out of Ace’s hand.

“Sabo, c-calm down, _please_ , look, I take it back, please calm down and we’ll talk about this –”

“NO WE WONT JUST – JUST LEAVE ME ALONE I REALLY DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE RIGHT NOW ACE YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED TO GET OUTTA HERE I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU DID THIS YOU RUINED EVERYTHING ACE FUCKING EVERYTHING!!!!”

And every word had trampled on Ace’s heart; every word was a bullet through his chest. And then, with a heated glance that came close to hatred, Sabo had stormed out of their flat.

Ace still remembers the dull sound when the silver ring with the incorporated sapphire in it hit the carpet of their living room and rolled underneath the sofa. He still remembers the sound of the front door being slammed close so hard the windows clattered.

And Ace was still standing there, frozen, unable to comprehend what just happened. His eyes wide, empty, with two silver streams of tears running down his cheeks. His heart cut open and it hurt so bad, so so bad, like he was torn in halves.

And then, when his voice returned and he croaked another apology –

Of course, Sabo wasn’t there anymore to hear it.

 

********

 

He spend days and weeks and months finding out what he did wrong that night. What he had done to make Sabo so upset. What he’d done to make him look at Ace as though Ace was the biggest traitor in the world. But no matter how often Ace had turned the events of that night around in his head; he hadn’t been able to come up with an explanation. Well yes, he concluded that he shouldn’t have proposed to Sabo. But why…why did it freak Sabo out so much..?

They’d never actually talked about it, but after being together for half a decade, Ace had thought…that from his side, it was all clear. He was ready, so damned ready to tie the knot and spend the rest of his life with Sabo.

Was that what had been so scary for Sabo in the end?

Ace doesn’t know the answer to that. And after his failed proposal, he hadn’t gotten the chance to actually ask Sabo anymore.

 

********

 

_Maybe I shouldn’t have brought the flowers…_

It’s just a tiny bouquet; you can hardly call it one, really. They’re _forget-me-nots_ , but due to the long trip and the cold wind, the blue blossoms have started to close and the entire thing does by far not look as cheerful and lively anymore as it looked like when he bought it at noon, during his lunch break.

He sighs, his fragile courage crumbling.

Well, whatever. He’s always been a clumsy romantic and it’s too late now, anyways. It certainly wasn’t the reason why Sabo left him, so might as well give him the flowers anyways. It’s polite, if anything. And if Sabo wants to look for a deeper meaning, it’s quite obvious. They’re called _forget-me-nots_ after all. If he’s gonna chuck them away immediately, that’s fine, too. There’s no way his reaction can hurt Ace any more than Ace hurt himself already by coming here in the first place.

He takes a deep breath and his cold fingers clench around the flowers. And then he lifts his free hand to ring the doorbell.

His heart beats so painfully fast and Ace can feel his whole body tremble with fear and anticipation alike. He can hear approaching footsteps and he realises how his whole body is drenched with cold, terrified sweat and his clammy clothes stick to his skin and he thinks he’s forgotten to breathe for minutes now and he takes a shaky breath and then he hears the key turn in the lock and –

_OhmygodthiswasaterribleideaohmyfuckinggodIshould’vestayedhomewhyamIdoingthiswhyamIherethisishorribleI’mgoingtothrowupIfeelsickohmygodIwanttogohomepleasedon’topenthedoorpleasedon’topenthedoorpleaseforgivemeanddon’topenthedoor…_

And then the door swings open and Ace heart stops beating.

_Breathe._

_Breathe, Ace._

_Breathe, c’mon._

And then his heart starts bleeding all over again.

 

********

 

There is…surprise in Sabo’s face. Just genuine surprise, nothing…nothing else much, as far as Ace can tell.

Ace has thought about what it would be like to see him again. He’s wondered what his own reaction would be if he’d see him again under whatever circumstances. He’s wondered if he’d start cursing and yelling and crying. Or if he’d just turn on his heel and walk away as the childish idiot he is.

But now that he stands in front of him again, for the first time since almost two years… Ace is mildly amazed by his own weak reaction.

He just stands there and stares at the man he used to love so, so much, with every fibre of his being. His body is unmoving, frozen still, while on the inside…

The one he _still_ loves more than should be possible for a human heart…

Well, inside Ace… there’s just an empty, aching, gaping darkness spreading into the deepest corners of his consciousness and it numbs him and he’d even find it hilarious, his own ridiculous weakness, if there wasn’t the man in front of him who’d bear witness once again to how terrible fragile Ace’s heart is. And he can’t let him see again. His weakness. It has ruined everything, and he doesn’t…he doesn’t need to experience that a second time.

Sabo lets go of the door handle. And his arms fall to his sides and his fingers start anxiously twisting with the hem of his cardigan.

Ace can feel his heart breaking. Breaking all over again, in all these tiny little bits and pieces that had taken him twenty months to slowly put back together. And now they’re all falling apart again.

_Ace_ is… falling apart again. Their gazes meet and Ace’s heart jumps painfully, his heartbeat pushes his boiling blood through his body, it’s roaring in his ears and he lets out a shaky breath.

Sabo looks…handsome as always. Smart. Casual, but elegant – he was always able to pull that off, no matter what he wears. He’s clad in dark blue jeans and a brow cardigan, with a checked dress shirt underneath. Grey socks. His usual attire when he is at uni.

His hair is still as blond as he remembers. Wavy and long, it frames his handsome features and Ace blinks at the familiar sight of the scar on the left side of his face.

Ace used to think that Sabo looks like an angel.

He still thinks that way, he realises.

And then, like he hasn’t made a fool of himself enough already by coming here unannounced, he just thrusts the flowers forward, toward Sabo’s chest and the man is quick enough to catch the tiny bouquet and his face is now confused…a little concerned maybe, but what does Ace know, he has no idea what’s going on inside Sabo’s head.

Maybe inside his head, Sabo is laughing at him.

He wouldn’t blame him.

“Th-thanks…,” Sabo says hesitantly, and a faint blush creeps up Sabo’s pale cheeks and it’s the first time Ace has heard his voice since such a long time his breath catches in his throat. His voice is the same as before. Melodic, gentle, light – a voice he could listen to for hours and hours and not grow tired of.

“…Look, I-I’m s-sorry I’m – ,” Ace starts stuttering but then he hears a new set of feet approaching and suddenly there’s a shorter man appearing behind Sabo, and Ace watches with widening eyes in disbelief, with his hands clenched to angry, jealous fists, how the man wraps his arms around Sabo’s middle to give him a loving hug from behind.

So casually. So intimate. So close.

And Ace can only stare and god he hopes Sabo doesn’t see the tears threatening to fall, god he prays Sabo doesn’t see how much it hurts, how much Ace is suffering, how his heart is crying out in despair and longing and jealousy.

He shouldn’t have come after all.

Fucking hope. Fucking… Just fuck his weak heart, fuck his nostalgia, fuck his childish, idiotic wish to make things right, to see him again, even for one last time…

Fuck his hope that refuses to die, even now.

 

And Ace can’t believe he actually finds his words and he just looks Sabo in the ocean blue eyes and with a voice heavy with sadness he says: “S-sorry for bothering you. I-I’ll get going,” but before he can turn around, the young man suddenly interrupts.

“Wait! Wait, Sabo, who’s that? He came all the way here; shouldn’t we at least let him come inside for a bit? I mean it’s your house, but look, it’s super cold outside!” and Ace shudders at the cheerful voice that talks to Sabo so easily and trustfully, and the jealousy flares up inside him again, like a poisoned fire it burns through his body.

“Ah…yes, sure, you’re right,” he hears Sabo say after a moment and Ace wishes the young man hadn’t said a word, who the hell even is he, this is none of his business. Sabo looks at Ace and then at the flowers still clasped in his hands. And then, without a word, he turns around to give him space.

“C’mon in!” the young man smiles at Ace. And Ace, internally scolding himself for being so goddamn stupid, he returns the smile faintly and walks up the few stairs warmly illuminated by the candles.

“Nice to meet you! I’m Luffy,” the young man grins.

Ace blinks. Although his stomach is still burning with envy, he has to admit that the man is quite pretty; perhaps younger than them. Handsome, young features, large dark eyes and messy hair. Tanned skin. He’s shorter than both Sabo and Ace, and he looks slender, but he walks as though he wasn’t. He walks with a lot of confidence.

Like he belongs here already.

Ace quickly stops thinking about that.

 “Likewise. I’m Ace,” Ace says after a moment and he shakes his hand.

“You a friend of Sabo’s?” Luffy asks and Ace is surprised. Honestly, he’s thought that Luffy would at least know about him. Maybe heard his name somewhere, but apparently…

And Ace never would’ve thought it would hurt so much to learn that apparently Sabo didn’t even bother telling his new boyfriend about him anymore. Ace and Sabo had been together for five years before Sabo broke up with him…but if Sabo hadn’t told Luffy about that…

Well, then it means that he really doesn’t care at all anymore about the past, right…?

“Yes…yeah, I’m an old friend,” Ace hears himself reply hollowly. Even saying it…hurts. He hesitantly takes his shoes and coat off. “I’m sorry if I interrupted you guys or anything.”

“Oh no, don’t worry about that. I love meeting Sabo’s friends!” the boy replies and Ace, despite his pain, can’t help but smile at him. The young man is so…unusually nice, Ace really can’t stay mad at him all that much. Although he wants to.

Luffy’s eyes light up happily and he nods down the short hallway. Even the interior is pretty tasteful; the recurring colours are warm and inviting – yellow, red, orange, brown and beige. The carpet underneath Ace’s feet is fluffy and light brown. It’s warm in here.

“Just go inside, you wanna have something warm? I’ll fix you some tea!” Luffy offers and before Ace can even say no, Luffy already shoves him through the open door into the living room and then disappears through a door to the right into the kitchen, Ace assumes.

And Ace’s breathe hitches when he sees Sabo leaning against the back of the sofa, with his arms crossed. Behind him, on the living room table, he’s placed the flowers in a tiny vase.

The living room is small and cosy. The carpet is beige and fluffy; there are two dark green sofas, a large TV with all appropriate gadgets, two walls are covered with book shelves. On the right side of the room, there is a small dining area with another door leading to the kitchen, Ace guesses. He can also see a large window front that leads to an outside terrace and the garden.

It looks beautiful in here, light colours, welcoming and warm. Ace understands why Sabo would choose such a place to live, as soon as you step into the house, you just feel at home.

But right now, however…Ace feels nauseous.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ace**

 

He clears his throat nervously. He can hear Luffy rummaging in the kitchen; he can hear dishes clatter and then the sound of a kettle heating up.

“…I…I’m sorry I just turned up out of nowhere,” Ace says after a long moment of tentative silence and he can see Sabo shift at his words.

The man watches him and his expression is unreadable, Ace can’t tell if he’s angry or sad or amused, the painfully familiar face is just…blank.

And yet…

Ace can’t help but notice that Sabo has become thinner. And he’s pretty sure about that, to be honest – before, the two of them used to work out together on a regular basis, and Ace used to know Sabo’s body like his own.

Ace still works out a lot, more often than not he even visits the gym in the middle of the night when the memories are too overwhelming and detailed to bear and he needs to push his body through a punishing training to make himself tired enough to fall asleep. So Ace has actually bulked up even more, although his sleep schedule is fucked…since months. And now that he looks at Sabo…

Has Ace even grown taller? It can’t be that Sabo has gotten smaller, right?

 

“…I should’ve called. I’m sorry,” Ace says after Sabo remains silent.

“You couldn’t have called, you don’t have my new number,” Sabo replies quietly and Ace blinks, another painful dagger digs right into his heart.

“Yeah…you’re right. Sorry.”

“Don’t be. How would you know?” Sabo mumbles and his eyes drop to the ground.

Ace doesn’t know what to say and he stands there uncomfortably, whilst Sabo still studies the floor between their feet with an alarming interest. Ace’s heart flutters nervously and he desperately searches for something to say, when Sabo says:

“Thanks for the flowers. They’re…nice.”

And Ace swallows and croaks: “You’re welcome.”

And thank god Luffy comes into the living room, happily carrying mugs and a can of tea and he settles everything down on the living room table, apparently without noticing the frosty atmosphere.

 

“Wh-what kinda tea is that?” Ace asks politely as he follows Luffy’s motion to sit down. Sabo, silent again, goes to sit next to Luffy and Ace closes his eyes when he sees Sabo lightly stroking Luffy’s back while settling against the pillows.

Ace's stomach feels sick.

“It’s cinnamon apple! I hope you like it,” Luffy says cheerfully and goes to pour him some. Ace nods stiffly.

“Thank you, Luffy.”

“Sabo, you too?” Luffy asks his boyfriend and Sabo, of course, smiles at the younger man.

“Sure, thanks babe.”

And Ace has a hard time not grimacing at the pet name but god it’s hard, hearing his ex-boyfriend call someone else so lovingly…

“So, how long have you two known each other?” Luffy strikes up a conversation immediately and Ace, despite the jealousy eating him up from the inside, can’t help but feel grateful that the younger man fills up the tense silence that is stretching between him and Sabo. Ace’s eyes flicker to his ex, who in turn avoids his gaze and looks at his tea.

“I guess…like fourteen years now?” Ace says with a shrug, he can’t really remember, they met for the first time when they were kids, two brats with dysfunctional families, with innocent dreams and wild ambitions.

“Fifteen,” Sabo says quietly and Ace’s heart jumps. “It’s been fifteen years. We were both nine when we met.”

“No way! Damn that’s a long time. And you stayed friends the entire time?” Luffy asks, completely oblivious of the tightening atmosphere starting to sizzle in the living room.

Ace stares straight at Sabo and Sabo, finally, meets his heated gaze and Ace sees a faint red creeping into his cheeks.

“Yeah, something like that,” Sabo answers the question with a smile at his boyfriend and Ace is two seconds from saying something, but then decides otherwise.

Sabo should be the one to tell Luffy, not him. And Luffy, from what he’s seen, is a good guy. He deserves to know from the person next to him, not the stranger he just met.

“And then? I think I’ve never seen you around before, are you a lecturer, too?” Luffy asks Ace friendly and Ace shakes his head and takes a sip from the tea.

It’s good. Something Sabo would definitely buy. The fact that he knows that makes him frown lightly.

“Yeah, well, I was a student there, true, but I’m not a lecturer,” Ace replies. “How about you? What’s your major?”

“I study Media!” Luffy says with a big, proud grin and Ace even has to grin back, genuinely this time. He’s seriously never seen someone that happy to study Media. Odd, but amusing.

“So you and Sabo met at uni?” Ace asks casually and he feels Sabo’s burning stare on him and he looks straight at him. If he’s the one hurting here, he might as well fire his last bullets, too. No need to suffer on his own. He’s done that for almost two years.

If this is the last time he’ll see Sabo…might as well show him that for Ace, it’s not over yet.

Actually, it’s far from over.

And Sabo’s blue eyes are unreadable, dark, void of any bright and then Sabo grabs his cup of tea.

“Yeah, totally cliché, I asked him where my lecture room was and that was the beginning,” Luffy says and smiles at Sabo.

“I’m glad you asked me,” Sabo says lovingly and presses a kiss to Luffy’s temple. Ace looks away. And then he swallows and he feels a spark of defiant boldness inside his battled heart.

“Shishi, I practically begged you to give me your number,” Luffy reminiscences. “I couldn’t believe we have such a handsome lecturer at uni! My lecturers are all past their best years.”

“Fufu, thanks for the compliment.”

Ace rolls his eyes and decides to chime in.

“So how long have you guys been together?” he asks innocently and Sabo narrows his eyes and finally, his face gives away a glimpse of his mind, Ace can see confusion sharpening his features and he’s _glad_ – after everything, after what his heart had to endure for such an unbelievably long time, he’s pleased that he can still cause something like an emotion to appear on the face of his long past lover.

“Hm, like…two months now maybe?” Luffy asks with a shrug.

“Yeah, almost two months,” Sabo agrees.

“So a fresh love, huh?” Ace asks, his voice becoming lower, a tone sarcastic, and Luffy nods, whereas Sabo glances at him questioningly. But before is ex-lover can say something, Ace asks, suddenly intrigued due to his earlier observation:

“Don’t mean to scare you, but do you guys know that there is someone running around in the woods with a torch? I could see him pretty close to your house when I got here.”

And Sabo rolls his eyes, whereas Luffy starts laughing: “Shishishi, yeah, it’s the ranger! Total weirdo, we think he keeps running around here because he thinks Sabo does illegal stuff or so. Like grow his own cannabis forest or so.”

“That’s not funny, Luffy. That man just wants to know if I’m still alive. Which is nice enough, since I’m here all on my own, when I don’t have visitors.”

“C’mon, it’s actually hilarious! To be honest, though, he does come around quite often…like he’s watching you or so!”

“Shhh, don’t say that! He’s just a lonely old man, no more. Leave him be.”

“Yeah, but what if –”

Ace grins quietly, against his will amused, but his humour vanishes when Sabo changes the topic.

“Anyways, what else have you been up to?” Sabo asks him, challenging now, and Ace can’t believe Sabo is actually asking him a direct question, he hasn’t expected that.

So he has to take a moment to find his words and he replies: “I’ve been working. New World Inc., since October last year.”

And Sabo blinks and he looks like he’s about to say something, perhaps congratulate him, but then he just returns to his stoic expression. Ace’s heart sinks in disappointment and it feels like he poured ice water over the timid spark of defiance that started burning inside his chest.

Perhaps, after all, it’s too late for that. Or he’s getting too old for that sort of battle that never ends up with a winner.

Sabo _knows_ that it’s been Ace’s dream for years – since he knew what New World Inc. was, he’d wanted to work for them as a creative director, because it's one of the very best animation studios in the country. And he managed it; against all odds he got offered a job and it was basically what had kept him from jumping off a cliff after Sabo broke his heart.

Sabo _knows_ that. Sabo knows how much Ace had struggled, with his studies, with his confidence, with his lack of motivation and belief and trust, with his horrible family situation…

And now, Sabo’s silence…

As though it all never happened.

Ace sighs and sets his cup down.

“You know what, I’ll be on my way. I’m sorry I bothered you guys –”

“No, actually, you can stay! I’ll be off in a few minutes anyways,” Luffy interrupts him cheerfully and Ace stares at him.

Did the boy not hear what he just said? Did he not notice the tense atmosphere? The air between Ace and Sabo is so charged with restrained frustration and anger and unresolved feelings Ace can almost touch it.

“My friends and I are still going drinking tonight. Sabo’s gonna be here alone, so why don’t you just stay and you guys chat about old times, huh?” Luffy grins, perfectly glad about his own glorious idea and Ace can only stare at him, with his cheeks slowly heating up.

_Fuck, what do I say now…!?_

And to his utmost surprise Sabo smiles at Luffy and says: “That’s a great idea!”

“Ok! Wait, I’ll just get my stuff from upstairs…”

And with that the boy dashes out of the living room and Ace can hear him jump up the stairs to Sabo’s bedroom, he assumes bitterly.

And Ace rolls his eyes and mutters: “That’s nice of him. But I won’t stay.”

“I know.”

And Ace looks up to see Sabo staring at his hands. He has them clenched in his lap, with his nails digging little crescent moons into his skin. Ace is sure now; the man has definitely gotten thinner. And he looks tired. Is university that busy t the moment?

“…I’m sorry I came here. I didn’t mean to upset you,” Ace mumbles a lie and Sabo snorts a laugh, looking right through his shallow words.

“Stop lying. You came here with the full intention of upsetting me. We both know that.”

And Ace swallows hard and asks: “And? Did I succeed?”

“Unfortunately yes.”

 

Ace’s head snaps upward and his heart makes a terrified, hopeful leap and he’s about to say something, something he would definitely regret saying later but then Luffy reappears in the living room, his bag slung over his shoulder and his coat resting over his arm.

Sabo jumps up upon his return.

“Alright! Was nice to meet you, Ace,” Luffy says to him with a wide grin and Ace nods. Then Sabo escorts him out of the living room into the hallway and he closes the door behind him but not completely, as if to mock Ace’s jealousy, and Ace tries hard not to eavesdrop, but he can’t help but cock his ears to catch any word…any noise that is the sound of kissing, he prays and hopes –

He hears the front door opening and mumbled words, but he can’t understand what they are saying…

He sighs and leans heavily back into the sofa. God he’s such a pathetic idiot. He should take his leave soon, too, although he dreads walking through the merciless cold and the rain, but he dreads even more what will happen between them, if anything at all, his heart already feels so strained and tender from months of relentless assaults…

He doesn’t know if he can take another hour with the one who taunted him so much…

And at the same time he wants it.

 

********

 

Ace puts the dishes together – it’s the least he can do – and he’s standing awkwardly by the bookshelves, studying the titles.

As he assumed, it’s a lot of English literature, which Sabo majored in. He sees the usual classics; he even recognises a lot of the works that used to sit in their bookshelves in their old flat…when they still lived together.

He tentatively pulls out “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens. He remembers how he got Sabo the book and a ticket to see it as a play in town, perhaps four or five years ago. He couldn’t afford two tickets at the time, they’d both been broke students, so he’d just accompanied Sabo to the theatre and watched him go inside.

He remembers how Sabo had repeatedly asked him if it was ok if he went by himself and that he didn’t want to go on his own. It was a ticket for the front row, so Sabo could see everything and everyone on the stage, nearly be part of the play himself. And Ace had nodded and pushed him toward the entrance and he had said: “Just go and have fun and tell me all about it after” and Sabo had smiled and then he had kissed him and he had whispered: “I love you” into Ace’s ear and he’d disappeared inside the theatre.

And Ace had waited, in the freezing weather because he knew Sabo would be upset and scared if he’d come outside and not see him anywhere and Ace still remembers the bright smile, his glistening eyes, the look of utter euphoria and awe on his face when he came through the door and he’d hugged Ace so tightly and whispered “Thank you” again and again and again and Ace had only laughed and Sabo had taken his freezing hands into his and blown warm air onto them and Ace had fallen so hard for him again, so deeply…

“…It’s the copy you gave me,” he hears Sabo’s voice behind him and he turns around, the book still in his hand.

“Is it? I can’t remember,” Ace lies, although he remembers so painfully clearly. Sabo stands behind him, and his face is so pale…and his brows are drawn together in an unhappy frown and his pale lips are tight.

Sabo rolls his eyes and takes the book from him. And he opens it in the middle and the ticket to the play is stuck there. The edges are tilted and it looks like it’s been crumpled in a fit of angry emotion but afterward guiltily straightened again between the pages of the book.

And Ace swallows hard and blinks rapidly. He didn’t… Now that’s something he hadn’t expected. He didn’t think Sabo would’ve kept the ticket all that time.

“…I see,” he croaks.

They remain silent and Sabo carefully closes the book and places it back in the shelf. And he is now so close to Ace, so close Ace can feel his body heat radiating from him, he almost feels the pulsing of his heartbeat inside his body and gods he wonders, he hopes that Sabo’s heart is just as drumming and racing as his own –

“…Thank you for not saying something,” Sabo says quietly. “I appreciate that.”

“…Yeah.”

They remain quiet, unmoving, and Ace studies Sabo’s face, studies the features he used to know so well, his prominent cheekbones, his pale lips, the long blond lashes over ocean blue eyes, he studies the scar on the left side of his face, the wavy blond hair that still looks as silky and well-kept as before, he takes in his whole appearance, from a closer proximity now, because who knows if he will ever see him again as close, as unmoving, so Ace better burn this image into his head…

And after a long moment, it’s perhaps been a few minutes of stares and avoided glances and shared warmth, before Ace decides to break the silence.

“He’s nice. I’m happy for you.” And part of that is a lie.

And Sabo, finally, meets his gaze again and he even sounds a little humoured as he says: “No you’re not. But thanks, anyways.”

“Well, you could’ve done worse,” Ace says with an amused sigh and this time, Sabo snorts a laugh.

“Thanks.”

And they look at each other and it takes them both a second to realise that they are in fact grinning at each other and Ace's heart does a painful somersault and Sabo’s face quickly closes off again.

“A-anyways… Congratulations on becoming a lecturer,” Ace mumbles.

“Congratulations on working for New World Inc.”

And then the words just come on their own, like they’ve been waiting to finally be spoken to each other.

 

They talk longer or rather _much_ longer, but it’s just like before, when Ace talks to Sabo, time just enters a new type of dimension and loses its importance altogether, when they used to be together they would talk long into the night, talk about whatever came to mind and minutes, hours, days and nights would pass and it would still feel like a single, shared heartbeat, as pleasant and comforting as a kiss and as exhausting and satisfying as sex and as cleansing as a long, hot shower.

So they just stand and talk and more and more often they meet each other’s gaze and hold it comfortably, and the air gets warmer in here, and a little more hopeful and brighter than it was the last few months.

At some point Ace even feels comfortable and peaceful enough to lean back against the book shelf and Sabo leans back against the back of the sofa like before, before he even comes closer again, seemingly to trace the back of the countless hardcovers he possesses, but the battled heart in Ace’s chest aches hopefully when he realises how Sabo is reducing the distance between them, the entire time they are talking and exchanging stories. He doesn’t know if Sabo even notices, or if it’s the man’s body just moving on its own, toward a destination it once knew so well, but Ace notices, notices all the centimetres between them becoming fewer and fewer and he holds his breath and he makes a joke and Sabo laughs and his gorgeous blue eyes are lit and they look at each other –

Ace swallows thickly, his breathing hitching. His fingers itch with a long forgotten heat, his skin tingles with the ache for someone’s touch and he gets painfully reminded of how much his body still remembers the touch of the person now standing so close to him, Sabo still stands in front of the bookshelf and Ace leans against it, so close, so familiar, their shoulders nearly touch, and Ace’s head recalls all the beautiful and pleasant and encouraging and dangerous memories they’ve created together and Ace, no matter how hard he tries to fight them down and lock them up, they all break free once again at the fact that his beloved one is once again so close –

And Ace steps away and Sabo startles at his sudden movement and stares at him, confusion and hurt evident in his eyes and why the hell is _he_ looking hurt, he was the one to break it off, Sabo was the one who broke up with Ace – Ace never wanted it, never wanted to let go of his hand –

“I’m sorry, I’m going to leave now, it’s late.”

It actually is. Ace can’t believe it, it’s nearly half past 11 at night. How did time fly by so fast?

_Just because we were talking…?_

And he practically flees to the dark hallway to grab his bag and his hands are shaking and his face pulls into an angry grimace at his own foolishness, how could he even think that something would happen, the man is in love with someone else now –

“Did you come here by car?” Sabo asks behind him, of course he has followed him and he switches on the light. Ace doesn’t look up as he ties his shoelaces.

“No, by train.”

He looks up when Sabo remains silent.

“What?”

“Ace, it’s Friday night. Trains don’t run anymore until tomorrow morning.”

And Ace halts in his movements and stares at him.

“What – wait, you sure?”

And Sabo rolls his eyes and replies. “Why would I lie, Ace?”

“Fuck it! Sorry, I didn’t mean to swear – ok, screw this…Hang on, I’ll call a cab…”

“Don’t be silly, it’ll cost you a fortune to call a cab to pick you up here and take you home.”

Ace curses softly under his breath and straightens up again. Damn this, he really didn’t think of that at all… he’s a spoiled brat when it comes to public transport, the result of years and years of living in the city. He didn’t even flipping think about how to get back to the town centre. Usually, when he’s out, he’s either within walking or cycling distance or public transport that runs 24/7 is nearby.

They stare at each other and Ace shakes his head.

He can’t stay here…although a huge part of him would die to be here, just one more time be close to Sabo, but he can’t just stay here. This is Sabo’s place and he already went here uninvited, he can’t push his presence onto him even more than he already did throughout the evening.

And he rubs his eyes and then he sighs: “Can I maybe burrow your car? I’ll bring it back tomorrow, I promise. And I’m not gonna wreck it, no worries.”

And Sabo looks at him sceptically and now it’s Ace’s turn to roll his eyes. “Believe it or not, but my driving has improved.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it,” Sabo says under his breath, but then he bites his lower lip. “Come on, I’ll drive you. It’s ok.”

“You really don’t need to go through the trouble –.”

“It’s fine.”

And they look at each other and Ace knows he can’t convince Sabo, not if he has that look on his face. He declares defeat and shrugs.

“Ok. But I’ll pay for the gas.”

“Alright with me.”

And this conversation is so frighteningly normal and for a short second Ace has to remind himself that no, they’re not together anymore, he can’t just reach over to give Sabo’s hand a reassuring squeeze, he has to remind himself that no, this is not them talking as a couple, but them talking as two independent people with a shared past, nothing more and nothing less.

He grabs his bag, whilst Sabo puts on his coat and he grabs his keys from the stand next to the door.

“You got everything?” Sabo asks him.

“Yeah.”

 

Sabo opens the door for him and Ace walks past him, and the cold air is sharp against the heat of his skin and he regrets once again that he didn’t bring gloves. It has started to rain and the wind has become stronger. It’s an unfriendly, ugly weather, typical for November, and Ace thinks it reflects his insides quite well at the moment. His breath dances as a silvery mist in front of his face as he waits for Sabo to lock the door.

“Damn it’s cold…,” Sabo mumbles behind him.

Ace follows the man to the car and he thankfully slumps down on the passenger seat when Sabo turns the car keys. Nothing happens.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me…,” Sabo mutters, anger now lacing his words.

He turns the key again and again and the car stutters weakly, before dying again and then it just remains aggravatingly silent.

“Fuck this!” Sabo suddenly yells and punches the steering wheel and Ace flinches at the sudden action.

“Did you forget to fill the tank?” Ace sighs. That used to happen often…back then. Sabo is a forgetful person. It seems like that hasn’t changed at all.

And Sabo shoots him a pretty dirty look and then looks straight ahead again. The rain is getting stronger and like impatient fingers the rain drums onto the roof and hood of the car and Ace feels himself becoming anxious, the close proximity, the closed space, Sabo so close to him, their elbows are almost touching, this is too much, this isn’t good –

“Sorry,” Sabo says.

“I was the idiot, not you,” Ace disagrees promptly. If he’d actually been the responsible adult he claims to be he would’ve looked up the train schedule bevor even coming here. But he hasn’t. Because his head had been full of thoughts about the person who now sits next to him, and that had pushed any other reason out of his muddled mind.

“…Let’s go back inside. You can sleep on the sofa,” Sabo says with a grave voice and Ace shakes his head.

“That’s bullshit. I’m not gonna do that.”

“Shut up, what other choice do you have? Listen, I can handle it, alright, my room has a door and a lock –.”

“YEAH YOU MAY BE ALRIGHT WITH IT BUT I’M NOT!” Ace barks and that shuts Sabo up.

The man stares at him from the side and he shifts in his seat to get a better view at him and Ace looks out of the window and wishes Sabo wouldn’t look at him like that, he doesn’t want Sabo to see his weak side, the weak side that is still so goddamned in love with –

“Ace –”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell,” Ace says defeated and runs a hand through his hair.

“This – I – am a mess. I’m sorry, Sabo. I…fuck, I…. That I ruined your Friday evening. And your weekend. The hell, also your life, or whatever. I’m sorry. I am an idiot, you know that, you’ve known that since we were kids, and I shouldn’t have come here, and I know that, ok, I fucking know I am an idiot. It’s just, I…I couldn’t stay away, ok…? I thought if I see you again, just once, I would…shit, you know what, forget about this, let’s just pretend I didn’t say a word…”

And it stays silent for a very, very long time, until Ace almost believes that Sabo has disappeared inside the house again and he half-heartedly hopes he did, when he suddenly feels tentative fingers move across the back of his hand and he looks to the side to meet Sabo’s troubled, mournful gaze and like so often Ace wonders why Sabo is the one who looks so unhappy, when it’s Ace’s heart that was broken, not his.

And he jerks his hand away and he grabs his bag and he opens the car door to the pouring, icy cold rain and he jumps outside.

“What the – What are you doing?!” Sabo shouts after him.

“I’ll walk,” he hisses over his shoulder and he stomps away, as the childish fool he is, because what the hell did he expect to get out of this evening?

Did he expect Sabo to forgive him and take him back? Did he expect Sabo to break up with his new boyfriend and get back together with him? Did he expect him to have sex with him, late break-up sex to remind themselves of the good old times?

He’s soaked in seconds and the biting coldness creeps through his clothes, coats his skin like a wet, clammy embrace, he draws his shoulders up and stuffs his hands into his pockets and he picks up his pace, he needs to get away from Sabo, he needs to be alone and lick his wounds he once again tore open so nicely.

“Stop, Ace! Wait!”

“Go back, it’s cold!”

“Ace, damnit, wait! This is bullshit, come back inside!!”

_“I can’t fucking take it, Sabo and now go back!!”_

_“Pull your shit together Ace!! It’s almost midnight and we’re in the middle of nowhere!!”_

“LEAVE ME SABO!”

“ACE FUCKING STOP WALKING!”

And his heart stops when he hears the angry steps catch up to him and the sound of feet splashing into puddles and then he feels a hand on his shoulder and he’s turned around forcefully and Sabo hasn’t thought about the wet ground and he loses balance and his entire body slams into Ace and the air is knocked out of Ace’s lungs and he stumbles backwards and instead of letting go - what would’ve been the reasonable thing to do - Ace's arms come around Sabo's wet, shivering frame and he falls with his back and butt first into the mud and he cradles his ex’s body to his chest, but only for a second before he pushes him away like he was afraid to get burned if he touches him for too long.

And Sabo looks at him, his face contorted with anger and now Ace knows the man is shivering because he is so enraged, not cold, and Sabo shouts at him:

“You’re gonna catch a fucking cold, Ace, and you know that! Just bloody come back inside, I don’t mind!!”

“I don’t fucking care about my health, I can’t stand being there with you!” Ace replies heatedly and Sabo looks at him, his eyes narrowing.

“Ace…”

And Ace groans in frustration and lets his head fall back into the muddy, icy cold ground and he feels the wet dirt seeping into his hair and he closes his eyes as he finally, finally admits:

“Maybe you have moved on, Sabo. But I haven’t. F-for me…it’s not over yet. Never will be. That’s why…fuck, listen, I can’t stay there with you, ok? Because it took me almost two years to function again and…and it would fuck me over again, Sabo. Haha… And…I’m not fucking strong enough to handle that a second time.”

And the rain keeps drumming down on him whilst Sabo doesn’t move an inch from where he is still kneeling above Ace and Ace avoids his piercing gaze as he just stares into the empty vastness above him and his face is so damn cold and wet and the drops feel like hail now, hard, sharp and painful and his entire body is soaked at this point and he feels like his bones are starting to develop a frost and he couldn’t care less, he seriously…couldn’t care less anymore…

“…Go inside. You’re getting wet and it’s late,” Ace says at some point, with a hollow voice he doesn’t recognise and he’s glad it’s raining, so Sabo can’t see the tears mixing with the heavy rain. His numb fingers move aimlessly over the wet ground and he claws his nails into the dirt.

And through the blur that’s settled over his tired vision he sees Sabo shake his head and the man replies hoarsely: “I’m not leaving you.”

Ace snorts at that.

“You already did, Sabo. Twenty months ago, when you stormed out of our fucking flat after I proposed to you. That’s when you left me. So don’t give me that bullshit.”

And suddenly he feels icy cold fingers gently touch his cheeks and he blinks rapidly to see Sabo leaning down and now he can see his face clearly again and Ace’s heart nearly breaks at the pained expression on his face and the tears threatening to fall.

“And-and what…what could I do…to make this up to you?” Sabo mutters, and he looks so young when he says that, so insecure and his eyes are pleading –

“…I’d say nothing will ever make up for what you did to me.”

And Sabo closes his eyes at his words and Ace already regrets saying them, but there’s such pain inside him, such ugly, painful sadness and it pulls the worst out of him, the demon that should’ve stayed inside, stayed locked up, but now there’s no point in hiding it anymore, he said it and now the man knows just how much he still fucking suffers and being here, with him right now, only makes it worse and it hurts as bad as that very moment, and it’s all because of him, this one man he _still_ loves so goddamned much.

And when Sabo’s tears fall onto him he can tell they’re tears because they are so hot against his freezing skin and his heart breaks even more and he can’t help it, he always hated Sabo being sad, so he reaches up his dirty, mud-covered hands to gently take his shivering fingers.

“Please. Don’t cry.”

And when Sabo doesn’t reply, Ace feels his own reason slowly taking over again and he sits back up. Shit, it really is freaking cold. And he’s made Sabo run after him. Damn, why is Ace ruining everything? Simply everything?

“Shh…let’s got back inside, ok?” he says, more to get Sabo out of the rain than himself, and Sabo nods, but he doesn’t move.

“Sabo. C’mon, stand up.”

And reluctantly, the man stands up again and Ace stiffly gets back on his feet and they slowly walk back to the house that is still illuminated and welcoming, like a silent guardian waiting for them to return.

And Ace’s head is a mess. And his heart. All of him is a mess.

 

********

 

His whole body is covered with mud and he shivers uncontrollably and he curses himself for being so stupid once again and he pulls his shoes off as he follows Sabo into the hallway. They leave a trail of muddy foot prints in their wake and Ace mumbles something about cleaning it up later.

Sabo just shakes his head and pulls his soaked cardigan over his head. He carelessly throws it onto the floor next to the door.

“Just get out of your clothes and go upstairs, on the left is the bathroom. There are towels. Go take a hot shower,” Sabo says with a bit of trouble and he tries hard to keep his teeth from chattering, Ace can tell.

Ace tries to do what he said, but he has trouble moving his frozen limbs and he can literally feel how the biting coldness has crawled into his bones and it slows him down and it makes it nearly impossible to think anything else other than how _fucking cold_ he is and how shitty he feels and how much he regrets having come here in the first place.

But he can’t say any of that, even if he’d wanted to, his tongue is numb and his teeth clatter pathetically and Sabo sighs and then he grabs his wrist to pull him upstairs and Ace makes the floor so fucking dirty and then Sabo switches on the light and practically shoves him into the bathroom. The blinding white in here makes him flinch. It’s surprisingly warm; and squeamishly clean, almost sterile. No decoration.

“Take a shower. And please don’t drown,” Sabo says, and although he tries hard to keep his voice calm, Ace can tell he’s still pretty upset. And angry. And confused. Sabo’s lips have turned blue. How freaking long have they been outside?

And Ace manages a shiver and an empty grin with clattering teeth and because he’s a jerk he replies: “W-would-d y-you c-c-care i-if I d-did?!”

And Sabo just shoots him a dirty look and slams the door close behind him. And Ace sighs heavily and it takes him ages with his cold, numb fingers to get out of his soaked, dirty clothes and when he’s finally naked he shivers so pathetically and uncontrollably he has trouble to step into the shower.

And yet…

He glances at the bathroom door. And wonders what he’d do if Sabo would come through it and join him...

He closes his eyes and holds his freezing face into the strong spray and the hot water feels like daggers boring into his skin and he groans with relief as his stiff body slowly comes back to life.

_Stupid Ace…_

_Like that’s ever gonna happen._

_Stop hoping._


	3. Chapter 3

**Sabo**

 

_God…_

He pulls at his cold, wet hair. Hard. He pulls until his scalp screams in pain and he grimaces and he bites his lower lip that’s chapped from the cold, icy wind and he curses softly as the sound of the running shower fills his ears.

He still sits in front of the bathroom door. Dripping, shivering and utterly at a loss of what to do with himself.

So lost.

There is such chaos inside of him. He’d tried to keep it at bay, for weeks, months even, he’s tried to lock it up and away, but now, within these past few hours, it’s all been boiling up, back to the surface and it’s scary and painful and hot and chaotic and he doesn’t know what to do, he doesn’t know anymore –

Ace turned up out of nowhere, like a dream, like a nightmare right where Sabo is the weakest, and instead of cold numbness everything inside Sabo started to crumble again and twist and curl around the fact that the man, _the_ _man_ is suddenly so close, so damned close again. Although his reason told him not to interfere, Sabo just couldn’t let him go, couldn’t let him leave into the night, not leave Sabo alone again –

_Shit, stop!_

_Stop thinking this, stop it!_

He bites his nails, for seconds, minutes, and then he stands up only to nearly fall over again because his limbs feel like they’ve turned into brittle ice, two seconds from caving in. He grimaces and steadies himself. He needs…He…He…should…

_Ace…_

He swallows hard.

Yeah, Ace should put on something dry after his shower. Sabo scratches his neck, a bit harder than he normally would have done because his skin is so cold he hardly feels it, and then he staggers stiffly down the short hallway to his bedroom. The crème-coloured carpet is wonderfully warm and fluffy underneath his frozen toes. Good thing he turned the heating on earlier this evening.

 

He looks around. He still has some of Ace’s clothes. He thought he’d never use them again – or even touch them again – but here he is and he’s glad he didn’t throw them away.

Even after all this time.

He even knows exactly where he put them. He kneels onto the carpet and looks underneath the wardrobe, there should be…ah yes, there’s the box. It’s a simple box, brown, a little worn, but inside there are things that are important to him…o-or used to be, at least…just things he couldn’t let go of, after he moved out of Ace's and his old flat. He'd stayed at his new place for roughly year, before he came here.

Sabo pulls the box out from under the large wardrobe. The thing is still half empty because there is space for two in it. He reluctantly opens the lid. Right there, on top, is Ace’s old black hoodie, the one with the white spades symbol stitched at the back. It’s the symbol you know from card games. Sabo had always though the hoodie looked bad on anyone but Ace. And yet he’d kept it for himself. He doesn’t know if Ace had even noticed that it was gone, but well, he'd never asked him.

Sabo doesn’t even know why he took that thing with him in the first place. Maybe nostalgia. Maybe remorse? Maybe the wish to take something with him, a memoir…? Something to hold onto, in all the craziness…?

He sighs, cutting the train of thought right off.

Well, whatever. The hoodie is here and it’s warm and dry and it’ll suffice until tomorrow. Sabo also pulls out a pair of joggers from one of his drawers.

It’ll suffice, until…until…

Until tomorrow morning, when Ace leaves again. He finds himself getting angry at the thought and he quickly pushes it out of his mind. He shouldn't think about Ace at all, he shouldn't...

But actually...

 _I_ want _to think about him..._

Internally fighting with himself, Sabo slowly walks back to the bathroom. Has his hallway always felt so long? Terribly, terribly empty and lonely and long and endlessly long –

He notices that the shower is turned off.

 

He’s about to knock on the door when the door is suddenly ripped open and he nearly falls right into Ace’s damp, steaming, half naked body that suddenly manifests in front of him and Sabo’s hand crashes against the door frame to regain his balance and they both are frozen still as they’re suddenly closer than they’ve been…than they’ve been since endless months.

Sabo can feel the impossible heat radiating from Ace’s naked skin, he can smell his own soap on Ace’s body, his dark hair is still dripping and Sabo feels his own body react so instantly and fiercely he has trouble hiding how _fucking hot_ he’s becoming –

Thank god Ace was decent enough to wrap a towel around his waist, although it hangs so sinfully low Sabo is instantly reminded of _times_ –

“Oh,” Ace makes, of course not moving an inch because why would he, right, and Sabo blinks several times in fuzzy but shamefully delighted confusion before he thrusts the dry clothes toward Ace’s bare chest, much like Ace shoved the flowers against him a few hours ago and Sabo shudders when his fingers brush the bare skin. Then Sabo quickly takes a few steps back and he feels like he can breathe again and his fingertips burn with the need to touch more, _feel more_ , and god does he hope his ex-boyfriend doesn’t notice the dizzying arousal inside him heating him up faster than any shower could ever manage.

“Put them on,” Sabo croaks. He can feel his cheeks warming up. Shit. He tries hard not to look at Ace's body, but he can't fight the urge to stare at his tanned skin stretching over the defined, hard muscles - god, Ace _did_ become bigger, he looks like a damn warrior with that body of his -

_Stop it Sabo!!!_

“Thanks… Wait, isn’t this…?” Ace asks in confusion, but Sabo interrupts him because his face is two seconds from melting.

“I’ll take a shower then,” and Sabo basically pulls Ace out of the bathroom and then, without waiting for another word from the man, he closes the door behind him, and sighs in relief in the silent safety of the damp, heated bath.

And he rips his shirt and t-shirt over his head and then he peels the soaked jeans and underwear off his cold legs, the wet socks off his numb toes and then he jumps into the shower and turns the hot water on and he hopes Ace doesn’t stand outside because he just lets out the most sexual groan you could imagine. But the worst is it’s not at all because he finally comes into contact with a hot spray of water immediately embracing his freezing skin, but very much due to the man he just encountered half-naked in the bathroom door.

He grimaces and closes his eyes.

He can’t believe it, he really can’t.

No, actually.

He knew it. He knew exactly, from the fucking moment he saw Ace stand in front of his door. He knew it.

That it’s not over yet.

 

********

 

 

When he comes downstairs, he raises a brow as he notices that the hallway and entrance area don’t look as muddy and dirty anymore as before. Also his wet clothes are nowhere to be found. Looks like Ace hasn’t forgotten his manners and actually cleaned up.

He straightens his shoulders, weirdly touched by that.

Then he aims to enter the living room where he suspects the man to be, but suspicious working noises from the kitchen let him decide otherwise. So he heads into the kitchen – to see Ace fumbling with the hub, with his back to Sabo. Sabo doesn’t know why, but his heart aches pleasantly upon seeing the white spades sign once again decorating the broad back of the man it once belonged to. Two steaming mugs are standing on a tray on the table, ready to be taken elsewhere.

Sabo pauses for a moment to take in the achingly familar, but not unpleasant sight.

And he has to keep himself from just walking up behind him and hug him, the way he would've done when they'd still been together. Back then, physical contact between them had been as natural as breathing and Sabo feels his resolution nearly caving at the overwhelming desire to once again seek the soothing closeness of the man's body.

Sabo crosses his arms in front of his chest to keep himself in check. Then he clears his throat.

“…Ace?”

Ace flinches and turns around, an adorable red dusting his freckles.

_Wait – adorable?!_

“Ah yes, I-I thought we-we should eat something warm…you know, you-you have lectures to give Monday, don’t wanna be responsible for you calling in sick,” Ace stutters, his voice higher than usual, the way he usually sounds when he’s nervous.

And Sabo actually bites back a grin.

“Thank you. That…is thoughtful of you.”

And Ace passes him a fleeting smile at which Sabo’s heart does a painful leap and he quickly averts his eyes. This is…dangerous. Painfully familiar and so, so dangerous.

“By the way, how does this hub work? I wanted to fry some eggs…”

“Ah, yeah, hang on, let me handle this –” and when Sabo slides in front of the hub, his arm grazes Ace’s and for the blink of an eye it feels like he was struck by lightning because such a sudden, powerful strong flash of clarity suddenly rushes through him and it makes his skin burn and twist and tremble for something he doesn’t quite understand, and part of him understands all too well because it is so incredible obvious and it frightens him and confuses him that after all this time touching the man still has such an impact –

“Ok, then I’ll just take these in-into the living room…,” Ace says slowly, and Sabo can feel his eyes on him, but he avoids his gaze and when he hears Ace’s steps leave the kitchen, he sighs deeply.

God how…this…how is he going to survive this night…?

_Pull yourself together._

But that’s much easier said than done, because he’s been pulling himself together, as much as he was able to, he wrapped himself in so many helpless, constraining thoughts and half-hearted beliefs until he was convinced he was ok again, that he could keep going, and the more he told himself that he would be ok the more he realised how much of a fool and a liar he is.

But when he’d finally admitted it to himself, during a sleepless, lonely night, one of the very first ones he’d actually spend in this house, when he’d finally realised what an idiot he is…it was too late to change things or go back on his words. Although he knows it would’ve been the right thing to do.

But there’s also his pride. And if there’s something that has ruined Sabo as much as his own fear – it’s his stupid pride never wanting to give in.

 

 

********

 

“Are you really ok with this?” Ace asks for the umpteenth time and Sabo rolls his eyes. Outside the rain heavily hammers onto the roof and against the side of the house. That’s a proper November storm going on out there.

And although Sabo would never admit it, he’s glad Ace is here. And that he’s not alone.

“Do I stutter?” he asks, half amused and half impatient.

Ace stands in front of the sofa or rather his makeshift bed for the rest of the night. Sabo has thrown all the pillows onto the couch and three blankets. These should keep him warm until the morning.

“No, but…you know...,” Ace starts, his frown deepening as he stares at the cosy looking nest Sabo has built in a few seconds.

“Ace. It’s ok.”

And they look at each other for a heartbeat too long and Sabo grimaces as his silly old heart starts jumping excitedly again and he quickly takes a few steps backwards. Ace opens his mouth to say something, but Sabo has the urgent feeling that he can’t let him speak, because the deeper the night, the more honest words become and the more they can hurt, cut right through you, so he quickly interrupts him and says: “Anyways, I put a spare toothbrush and toothpaste onto the sink in the guest toilet, you can’t miss them. Have a good night.”

“Ah...yes, thanks…And good night.”

And with a last glance, Sabo gently closes the living room door behind him and hurries upstairs.

 

It’s after 2am. He’s feeling weirdly alarmed. It’s not because there is another person sleeping downstairs in his living room. He pulls the duvet up over his chest, but before he gets comfortable, he needs to check something else.

He sits back up and glances out of the window and his eyes narrow as they try to make something out in the all-consuming darkness outside. The heavy raindrops make the world blurry, but Sabo is still worried to find the torchlight moving jittery around in the darkness of the forest.

The ranger, Sabo believes his name is Marshall D. Teach... he's odd. A very odd person indeed. _Damn, he’s outside even in weather like this?_

Sabo watches how the light grows further and further away, deeper into the woods. The ranger is a strange man for sure… And although Sabo tries to tell himself that it’s a good think that he’s not completely alone out here…

The presence of the ranger close to his house doesn’t put him at ease in the slightest. How he comes to visit Sabo time and time again to tell him weird, unbelievable stories...how he keeps on wanting to check Sabo's house and boiler and what not... So strange. Sabo doesn't necessarily dislike him, but he certainly doesn't want to be friends with him, either.

But well, as long as he doesn’t do anything, who cares about a silly old man running around in the forest…

 

Sabo sighs, sliding deeper beneath the blanket and immediately his thoughts go to circle around the elephant in the room, the massive fact he can no longer avoid. His eyes are falling close when he finally gets into a comfortable position, but at the same time, Sabo is wide awake, and uncomfortably alert.

It’s…it’s because of everything that has happened in these short hours, and everything he’s seen, he’s heard, he’s felt is so rough on his heart, it’s straining him in a way he didn’t believe…didn’t hope to ever experience again.

And yet, here he is.

And all of his thoughts circle around the one man he used to know so, so well.

The one man he used to love so, so much.

_Still does, perhaps?_

He frowns into the darkness. The rain is even louder up here; it sounds like giants tapping their fingertips viciously against the roof of his tiny cottage and it irritates him greatly.

He curses into the disquieting silence of his room and then he turns to his side, half digs his face into his pillow and he doesn’t notice his own fingers move across the sheets, expecting to find something, someone, a warm human body perhaps, anything, to reassure himself that he’s not alone, but he only meets empty sheets and bitter loneliness.

And he grimaces when his heart shrinks.

_Ace…_

He shuts his eyes tightly. No, no, he can’t think about him, Sabo has someone new he loves, right, and Luffy is a good guy, Sabo isn’t…isn’t in _love_ with-with Ace anymore, right…?

_Fucking stop lying to yourself…_

He curses again, louder this time and he turns onto his back again. Shit, why…why did Ace have to turn up today, just out of nowhere, why today, why…why did he do it at all, what was he expecting from Sabo? What was he thinking, turning up out of the blue, just standing in front of Sabo’s door because for Sabo it was like a hard slap across his face and a kick to his guts and at the same time his heart had been beating so fast and painful that he’d barely managed to keep breathing.

His hands had been shaking and all his walls inside his head, inside his heart crumbled down in an instant it took to look into Ace’s face and recognise the same smile, the same old smile he used to love so much and that he tore apart that very night twenty months ago, when Ace had proposed to him and he’d broken Ace’s heart into a million pieces and his own too, while he’d been at it.

And now Ace is back, although Sabo is the last man on earth to deserve to see his smile ever again, he was so unbelievably cruel to him, and today he knows that, today he knows what he’s done, what he threw away that very moment, and it’s taken him weeks and months of turning it over in his head and finding the insurance that he did the right thing only to one day realise, after another lonely evening with wine and tequila, that he’d broken his own heart much worse than Ace could’ve ever done to him.

The reason why Sabo is so incredibly unhappy with his life right now, so deeply, deeply unhappy, the reason was not because Ace had proposed to him.

The reason why Sabo is unhappy is because he had said no.

And for such a long time he’d tried to convince himself that he’d done the right thing. Only to realise that in fact, he’d done the biggest fucking mistake in his entire life. But at that time it’d been too late already to go back.

 

********

 

_Fuck…shit…_

God what he would give to make things right…what he would give to go back and tell Ace that it’s not his fault, that he doesn’t mean it, that he loves him with every cell inside his body and that he wants to make it right, one way or another, because of all the people on this earth, Ace deserves a happy ending the most.

And Sabo, of all people, took it from him.

He sighs and sits up in his bed.

_Fuck this shit…_

The minutes tick by and with every passing second he feels the sleepiness dripping away, sliding out of his grasp and his mood drops simultaneously. He’ll be dead tired tomorrow, but he can tell that he won’t find any sleep anymore tonight. With a sigh he finally swings his legs out of bed and then moves through the darkness toward the door to switch the light on. He forgets that he still has the box from before openly laying around on the floor and he steps against it and to avoid crushing any of the precious items he stumbles to the side and immediately knocks his toes against his desk chair and a sharp pain shoots through his foot. He lets out a loud string of vulgarities before he almost crashes into the door and he finally, finally finds the light switch.

 _“Fucking shit fuck this!!!”_ he curses loudly and glances at his throbbing toes. They don’t bleed, but he can already feel them warming up uncomfortably with a growing bruise on all of them.

Today…the universe truly wants to screw with him, right? He angrily grabs his laptop from his desk; he might as well watch some silly TV series or so while waiting for his brain to finally calm down and release some much-awaited dopamine. When he’s about to settle back underneath the duvet, he hears a soft knocking on the door. For a split second he believes he’s hallucinated it, but then it repeats itself, firmer this time and his heart makes a way too joyous leap when he hears Ace ask:

“Sabo? Are you ok in there?”

And it takes him a moment to reply: “Yeah, I’m fine!”, which is lie, because he’s anything but, and the reason he’s anything but fine is the very man on the other side of the door, so him being there – doesn’t help his situation at all.

So might as well lie to him. Again.

He can’t hear any steps and he sighs and stands up once again. He tries to ignore the quickening of his heart and he marches through the room, pushing the box half back underneath the wardrobe with his throbbing foot. Sabo opens the door he’s just realised he hasn’t locked and a second later he finds himself face to face with Ace again.

And the heat returns to his cheeks.

 

“I could hear you cursing,” Ace says, weirdly shy, and he looks… well, he still looks as handsome as before, he’s the only person Sabo knows that can pull off that sleepy-but-sexy look so effortlessly it’s enviable. He could party and power through a weekend, it would start Friday when he’d go to uni, go to a party or club that night, have sex with Sabo after, go to work the next morning, party again and have sex with him again and wake up Sunday morning looking like a fucking model.

Sabo remembers it so clearly like it happened yesterday, when Ace would be the first to sleepily get out of bed to make coffee and Sabo would still laze around half asleep and a little sore from their intense lovemaking and then Ace would return to their bedroom, with two steaming mugs in his hands and Sabo’s heart would’ve done a somersault backwards because it should be forbidden to look that handsome and refreshed after such a weekend, but Ace does it anyways, and he does it so damned well.

Sabo remembers with frightening clarity how Ace, after he'd notice Sabo's lingering gaze on his body, would come and set the mugs down on the night stand and then come to snuggle underneath the covers again, and more often than not he'd gently slide his hands over Sabo's thighs and like on their own Sabo's legs would wrap around his waist and pull him closer, flush to his body and Ace would smile and tell him how beautiful he is and lean in to kiss him, slide their tongues together -

Sabo grits his teeth as the vivid memory starts to make his body react with interest. And right now that isn’t helping. At all.

 _Pull yourself together!_ he chides himself.

“Yes, ah…I hit my toes,” Sabo replies, looking down to his naked feet and he really hopes Ace doesn’t see the blush on his face.

And they are silent. He can tell that Ace is scanning his room. The light is on, the laptop is already switched on and waiting to be used sitting by his pillow – Ace isn’t dumb. He can tell.

“I can’t sleep,” Sabo then sighs.

“Me neither.”

Standing so close to him is difficult. Ace _has_ actually gotten taller than him, not much, but now that they’re standing so close Sabo can tell. He looks…bad. Worse than he'd thought. Haunted, in a way. Tired. With dark circles underneath his eyes and his skin looks ill underneath his natural tan.

Ace still radiates the warmth and the kindness from before, but there’s a shadow to it, like his light was frighteningly overpowered by something else, a darker, sickening feeling and Sabo knows what it is, of course he does, because he’s been the cause of it. His stomach burns with guilt and remorse.

The heartbreak…was caused by him, and no one else.

He just didn’t think it would last till this day, with such a shocking force. But it does, and it is worse than he'd believed. Ace looks like he was being eaten up from his core.

_And it’s my fault…_

“Well…we could just chat and chill, if you want to,” Ace offers carefully and Sabo’s heart jumps at the suggestion and he tries to find words to answer.

But his reply comes too late and Ace, already disappointed, starts: “Or, you know, I’m just gonna go back downstairs, sorry –.”

“No, that…that sounds good,” Sabo mumbles, not really trusting his own voice.

And he steps backwards, giving Ace space to step inside his bedroom.

_And...and…_

“O-Ok...uhm, what were you watching?” Ace asks him nervously as he shyly moves through the room, his eyes briefly pausing at the box clearly visible under the wardrobe. Has he seen what’s inside..?

“Nothing special really. Anything you’re watching right now?”

 

They awkwardly settle on the bed, with as much space between them as possible without falling off the mattress, the laptop still sitting innocently by the pillows. For a very long time, Sabo’s screen saver had been a picture of the two of them. Now it’s just a plain default picture, showing a bit of beach and ocean. Impersonal. Neutral.

Empty.

Sabo grabs his laptop and moves his finger over the touchpad to open Netflix.

“Yeah, I kinda watched the first couple episodes of that new season of The Big Bang Theory?”

And Sabo smiles, genuinely this time, at the mention of the show he used to binge-watched when he was younger. “Oh yeah, now that you mention that, I saw that too!”

“I mean people say it’s been getting worse since season 3, but I thought it was hilarious –”

“Fufu yes, they really did up their game this season!”

 

And so Sabo moves to look for that nerd series they’ve both been following for years now and he immediately opens the first episode of the new season and it’s so weird, as soon as the familiar characters start appearing on his screen, a bizarre but familiar feeling starts settling in his guts, because this, the two of them sitting in bed with a laptop and streaming one of their all-time favourites.

There have been so many mornings or evenings exactly like this, just the two of them enjoying each other’s company, and Sabo feels the nostalgia rising in his chest and at the same time also that dull, aching sadness that’s been filling him for so long, he feels giddy and cautious and happy and estranged all at once.

As if their bodies were connected by invisible strings, their bodies move closer and closer together, if it’s to move the laptop around or to rearrange the pillows, somewhat their bodies seem to gravitate toward each other, as though they were yearning to be once again united and Sabo doesn’t even notice, because being like this, close to Ace, sharing the space, sharing the blanket, sharing his thoughts, is as natural as breathing, as easy and satisfying as falling asleep, except he is wide awake and thrilled and his heart drums excitedly inside his chest.

The laptop is now balanced on Sabo’s right thigh and Ace’s left thigh and it sits perfectly still, just like all that time ago, and Sabo couldn’t be more comfortable as they watch episode after episode, commenting on the jokes and gags, throwing banal trivia around and more often than not they look at each other, not at the screen anymore, and Sabo sees Ace’s dark eyes so bright, shining with a fire so hot he can feel Ace’s gaze warming his skin, warming his body and despite his own nervousness and confusion, he feels good, no, better, because this…

This is the way it was, the way it _should_ be –

“Remember the one time I took you to the movies and there was that weird couple in front of us and they wouldn’t stop making out?” Ace asks laughing, they have paused the episode for the moment.

“Wait – yes, which was it again? Wasn’t that Iron Man 3?”

“Yeah that one! And they’d be so loud that you just kept on kicking against their chairs until they’d stop but then the dude threw his popcorn at us?!”

And Sabo grins, remembering that date night in vivid detail, they went to a crappy cinema downtown, given they were both broke students at the time, and when the guy had dumped his popcorn over Sabo’s head, Ace had basically been dying in his chair suffocated by his own laughter.

That had been such a glorious moment, Sabo hadn’t been annoyed, it was just popcorn after all, but the couple had been exasperated and moved to different seats and Ace and Sabo, still giggling delightedly, started to eat the popcorn off Sabo’s clothes. Which had resulted in sugar-sweet making-out…

They look at each other, both grinning and expressions soft in the wake of their shared memory. But soon, Sabo notices himself looking at Ace’s lips, against his will, his gaze keeps flickering to the man’s lips and he wonders if Ace notices, but he surely does, he’s an observant man at times like this, and Sabo shyly turns his eyes back to the screen, when Ace moves closer and Sabo’s breathing stops.

Ace doesn’t quite touch him yet, but it’s certainly closer than you’d sit with a normal friend, and Sabo’s heart jumps with excitement when he feels Ace’s heat ghosting over his body, warming him comfortably, and it’s so so familiar, his heat, his presence, his kindness wrapping around him like a loving embrace.

They’re silent and the silence makes the rain outside sound even louder, it still hasn’t stopped raining, and the wind has picked up and howls menacingly around the cottage. It’s a creepy atmosphere, and Sabo is sure he’d be scared and worried if he was alone right now.

But he isn’t.

Miraculously, he isn’t alone.

“Sabo?”

And Sabo blinks, swallowing dryly. “Y-yeah?”

But Ace doesn’t ask the question he expected him to ask, he didn’t choose the obvious one, the one that’s probably been burning on Ace’s tongue for a long time now. But no, he asks:

“Why…why did you move to this place?”

 

********

 

And Sabo stares at him. Unable to form words.

_Why…?_

“I mean, I don’t question your choice or anything, but you’re out here, so freaking far away from everything and everyone, you have one hell of a trip to work and back, you don’t even have neighbours. So why choose a house at the fucking end of the world, Sabo? You _hate_ being alone!”

And Sabo blinks, his heart shrinking and at the same time it flutters because…because why, is Ace, after everything Sabo did to him, sill concerned about him, why is there still worry in his voice and care in his words..?

“I… I liked the house. And it’s quiet out here –”

“We both know that’s not true. I know you, Sabo. C’mon. Tell me.”

_Don’t say that…with that voice…with those eyes…don’t look at me like that…_

And Sabo doesn’t say anything for a long time, as he carefully chooses his words and he doesn’t even notice Ace moving around, so the man can look at him at a better angle, and suddenly he’s so close, as close as you can be without actually touching each other and he can feel Ace’s burning gaze on himself and finally… Ace gently grabs his laptop and places it on the night stand.

Sabo draws his knees up and laughs, more desperate than anything.

“Fufufu…It’s…nothing I’m proud of,” he then says slowly. “Actually quite the opposite.”

And suddenly he feels a foreign but so familiar hand close around his and he looks down to see Ace’s hand firmly holding onto his and his breathing stops and his heart thunders so hard it hurts and he can’t breathe and his eyes flicker up again to see Ace look…look so hurt and sad and happy and hopeful at the same time and the sight breaks his heart, breaks all remaining doubt there is clouding his will –

“Please. Tell me.”

And Sabo closes his eyes for a moment, before he finally says it aloud, the reason he chose to be all by himself, the reason no one knows, because he’s too ashamed, too embarrassed to admit it, but Ace – Ace has every right to know, because after all, it _is_ some sort of atonement for what Sabo has done, and although his own loneliness can’t even begin to compare to Ace’s – it’s a beginning.

“Haha…I… ha, I guess…i-it was so I would become…less scared. So I’d become…you know, braver…than…than I was before,” he whispers faintly.

And he hates himself for being so weak, so scared, so terrified because in the end that was exactly what had ruined everything for him, what had eventually ruined his life. His love.

Everything.

And Sabo smiles tiredly at Ace.

“And when I’d…become braver…I would maybe have the courage to apologise to you. But I guess it’s too late now, isn’t it?”

 

********

 

He feels a hard pull on his hand and he collides with Ace’s solid chest and he’s trapped in the hottest, most painful and heart-breaking embrace he’s ever experienced and his lungs stop working as his brain works to process what is happening but this is too much, he can’t understand, why, why is Ace doing this, why is Ace keeping on hurting himself, why does he allow Sabo to hurt him again and again, he should’ve stayed away, why is Ace hugging him like this now, why is he… _why is he being so tender, he’s shivering and I, what shall I do –_

“D-does…does it mean…you’re…sorry?” Ace whispers into his shoulder, his voice is shaking so much with emotion and Sabo grimaces as the pain inside his chest overflows and he feels tears itching in his eyes and he claws his fingers into Ace’s hoodie and he doesn’t even notice how much he’s trembling as he replies quietly:

“Yes. Yes, I am…”

And Ace pulls back and his warm, trembling hand comes to rest against Sabo’s cheek, and the violent shivers in Ace’s body are enough to almost make Sabo break down in tears, because Ace…

Ace looks at him, his eyes wide and dark, his face is pale, his jaw is clenched and his whole body is trembling so much, and there is so much hope in his eyes, so much sadness, such grief and pain and…and _love_ …

Ace carried this pain with him for so long because Sabo was such a damn fucking coward and didn’t have the courage to tell him…tell him the truth… And Sabo bites his lower lip and places his own hand above Ace’s. And with his eyes downcast he whispers hoarsely:

“I’m sorry for what I did. A-and...for…for saying no…when I should’ve…said…said _yes_...”

And when Sabo looks up he notices how blurry his vision is and he blinks the tears away and he sees Ace looking down, to the blanket between them, and his shoulders are shaking so bad and Sabo grimaces and squeezes his hand and suddenly he’s scared, no, terrified that Ace won’t forgive him, will curse and yell at him now and inflict the exact pain on him as Sabo did, and he chokes out another apology when Ace interrupts him, his voice hoarse and on the verge of breaking and his eyes bore into Sabo’s.

“N-no...do…do you…do you h-have any idea…how _long_ I’ve been waiting for you…to say this…?”

“Ace…”

_“Sabo…”_

 

Then Sabo just closes his eyes and a heartbeat later, he can feel Ace’s lips on his own and he lets out a strangled cry as his heart drums so hard stars dance in front of his eyes and he feels dizzy as Ace’s warm lips move tenderly against his own and god it feels so so good, so welcome, as though Sabo has been waiting for this for such an endlessly long time and finally, finally, he’s back where he belongs, in Ace’s arms, accepting his kiss, the most perfect kiss in the world, and also the most painful and fragile.

And Ace’s arm wraps around his waist to pull him closer and Sabo claws his fingers into his hoodie, but he’s still hesitant, is this really alright, is this really what they should do but god he wants it, he wants it so so much, he wants more, but he can’t…

They shouldn’t… not yet –

“A-Ace,” Sabo gasps, gently pushing him back by his shoulders and the look Ace gives him breaks his heart and he can tell Ace is terrified he will tell him to stop and Sabo shakes his head slowly and stutters:

“I-I can’t… I’m hurting you… No, Ace, I can’t break your heart any more than I-I already did –”

And Ace shakes his head; cutting him off and kissing him again, nearly desperate, Sabo can taste the despair and _hope_ on his lips. And Ace breaks away, only so much that he can whisper hoarsely:

“Don’t…don’t push me away again, p-please…don’t throw me away again, Sabo…”

And Sabo wants to reply, but Ace won’t let him, he kisses him again and the last of Sabo’s resolve melts away as he accepts the kiss with a desperate, hungry fervour that scares him because it’s like a dam has broken, all his hurt, battled emotions and suppressed feelings and conflicted desires and strangled fears just pour out of him and the centre of all of it is right there, kissing him like he was the most precious treasure in the world.

Sabo can’t help it, he lets his tongue slide over Ace’s lips and he can feel the shocked tremor rocking Ace’s body, but the man soon recovers and opens his mouth to slide his tongue against Sabo’s, and he’s just as sinfully skilled as Sabo remembers and Sabo moans softly, tangling his fingers into Ace’s hair and urging him even closer.

_God it’s been so long…_

Ace pulls him closer, flush against his chest and Sabo can still feel the shivers shaking his body, and the mad heartbeat drumming inside his chest and it’s enough to make Sabo dizzy, downright dizzy with so much arousal and want and desire, he wants more, he needs…

It’s been too long, he’s longed for this, longed for it so much that now he has Ace back in his arms it feels like his heart will break again, but not out of sadness and sorrow but out of so much joy and disbelief that this is actually happening _this can’t be real, this can’t be fucking real –_

“Sabo…,” Ace moans desperately as he breaks away from the dizzying kiss and he moves to kiss Sabo’s neck and where his lips touch Sabo’s skin it feels like a burn, heat so consuming and scorching he’s shaken down to the core and he gasps and urges him own, more _, I want more, give me more, all of you –_

“Ace…,” Sabo sighs impatiently and pulls him up for a bruising kiss again, tongues sliding around each other with both gentleness and rough enthusiasm and he feels Ace’s hands carefully moving him around, until Sabo sits with his legs on either side of Ace’s thighs and their pelvises are only inches from each other and his arms wrap tightly around Sabo’s waist and start trailing up and down his back with fingers so hot Sabo shudders in utter delight. Sabo feels his heart drumming so hard and fast with want and desire and hunger and greed and when Ace breaks the kiss to breathe, Sabo pulls him right back into another kiss and Ace grins against his lips, satisfied with his reaction and god, Sabo won’t stop, he can’t stop, this is Ace –

He moans softly when Ace’s tongue comes deeper inside his mouth and Sabo breathes him in, breathes in the raw desire that drips off of Ace’s lips and god this is so hot, so _good_ , he can feel his own fear and confusion just melt away with the heat of Ace’s touch, this is what he wanted, what he needs, everything to build Sabo’s battled inside back together, this is what he’s needed all this time, this is what makes him his old self again, and he needs more, _more, Ace, I want more –_

 

**BANG BANG BANG!!!!!!!!!**

 

Sabo blinks, ripping his eyes open and leaning back.

_What the hell?_

“Did you hear that?” Sabo asks confused and he pulls away. Did he just hallucinate that? But he could swear he just heard a heavy banging on the door…

“Shhh, it’s just the wind,” Ace says, he licks his way down Sabo’s neck and Sabo would love to focus on that, but then he hears it again, much louder this time.

**BANG BANG BANG!!!!!!!!!**

**CRAAAASH!!!!!!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gore, blood and horror elements ahead. If you are uncomfortable with that, I advise you to skip to the next chapter.

**Sabo**

 

Ace stops kissing Sabo’s neck and leans back, his eyebrows rising.

“Alright, it’s not just the wind,” he says and they both keep silent for a tense moment.

The noise has vanished. They look at each other and Sabo, despite his confusion, can’t help but be terribly pleased at the red flush on the other man’s face. Caused by nothing but Sabo and his kisses…

“Maybe a branch crashed through the window or so,” Sabo says with a shrug, swinging his legs out of bed.

“Wait, I’ll come with you.”

“What, don’t think I can handle a tree branch?” Sabo asks amused over his shoulder.

“Must’ve been a freaking large tree branch,” Ace says, standing up.

Sabo smiles quietly when Ace walks the few steps to him and he sighs blissfully when the man wraps his arms around him again. So warm and comforting, just simply perfect in every way… Sabo still feels the maddening heat pulsing through his own body, but now that they’re not kissing anymore, his head has cleared a little, although his skin is still prickling and itching with the desire for the other’s touch.

He feels how Ace presses butterfly kisses to his neck.

“Shall we take a quick look and then come back here?” Ace whispers into his ear, and he says it with a voice smooth like honey, but he keeps the tone light.

Sabo still shudders, because the well-known voice runs through him like lightning and makes his heart beat faster with the promise of what is going to happen once they get back. His belly tightens with heated anticipation.

“Let’s hurry then,” Sabo whispers back and he turns his head to kiss him.

But the only things hurrying are their tongues meeting halfway and gently sliding against each other again and Sabo breathes shakily, his eyes closing and his legs start shaking as the desire and want come flaring up inside him like a blaze, weakening him to his knees.

Ace’s arms tighten around his waist and he even comes a little closer, presses his chest against Sabo’s back, hot, hard and protecting, and his pelvis starts grinding into Sabo’s ass, not hard but just with the right amount of hunger to make Sabo’s skin burn underneath his clothes with every second he keeps doing it and Sabo _moans_.

“Haah...Shit…A-Ace…,” he breathes into the man’s mouth and Ace’s tongue curls around his, hot and talented and so, so good and Sabo lifts his hand to gently caress Ace’s neck and nape, urging him on with fingernails boldly raking down his neck and he feels the man’s hairs stand on end and god does it give him satisfaction –

“Sabo…,” Ace whispers against his lips.

Sabo kisses him again, but this time, with a bit of effort on his part, he keeps it light and after a few wonderful moments they both pull back and Ace steps away to give them both time to calm down.

Even though Sabo doesn’t want to. But reason calls for them, and no matter how much he wants to, he can’t ignore the fact he heard glass crashing downstairs twice. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair and clears his throat.

Ace winks at him and straightens his hoodie. “Let’s go then.”

“Yeah.”

 

********

 

“Did you switch off the light downstairs?” Sabo asks with a frown as he stands at the top of the staircase.

“No, why?” Ace asks behind him.

“The entire ground floor is dark,” Sabo breathes. He stares down and the stairs get swallowed by darkness, ugly greyish-blue from the raging storm outside. His heartbeat starts to quicken, but not for the reasons it did in his room, when he and Ace had been making out.

This time, his heart drums heavily inside his chest and a sick, nauseous feeling settles in his stomach. He swallows dryly.

_Why is it dark downstairs?_

_Where is the light switch again….?_

_Where?! Why…?!_

His hand clenches around the railing until the wood cracks and he hears Ace shift behind him and then, he startles, Ace’s hand reassuringly comes to squeezes his shoulder.

“It’s ok, Sabo. Maybe I just switched the light off absent-mindedly, ok? You don’t have a power outage, everything’s alright,” Ace says soothingly behind him.

He is right, though, if Sabo had a power outage, the top floor would be dark, as well. But it’s not. Sabo takes a shaky breath and then straightens his shoulders and he clenches his hands to fists so Ace doesn’t see his fingers shaking.

“Ok, let’s get this over with, this is ridiculous,” Sabo mumbles and his voice is high-pitched, giving away his nervousness.

“I’m right behind you.”

“Y-yeah…”

But as soon as Sabo steps off the stairs into the hallway, he notices something is off. It is unusually cold down here, and an icy cold draft makes him shiver. Has he left a window open? No, he never does that, like he can afford leaving a window open and drain the house of its comforting warmth… He feels Ace look around behind him and he steps to the side to peek into the guest toilet. Everything the way he left it.

“Let’s go check out the kitchen,” Sabo whispers and at the same time he feels silly because he whispers.

“Ok,” says Ace behind him, and he, too, keeps his voice down.

Sabo stands like rooted to the ground. He feels so incredibly stupid, he has been living in this house fo nearly a year now, and he loves the house, but right now, right this moment, he feels himself being afraid of it in a way his gut clenches hard and his lungs feel like someone had wrapped white hot wire around it and squeezing every bit of sense and reason out of him. His heartbeat is so loud in his ears. His blood roars in his veins in fright. Only when he sees dark spots in front of his eyes he notices he’s stopped breathing.

He hardly feels when Ace moves around him and cups his face with his hands.

“-abo. Sabo!”

Sabo flinches, looking up at him like he was just seeing him for the very first time.

“Sabo, let me go first. I’m sure everything’s ok, but you look pale,” Ace says, but Sabo can see right through his fake calmness.

However, the man’s voice brings him back to the surface and he swallows nervously. He shakes his head.

“I-it’s my house. I’ll go first,” Sabo replies. He smiles wearily up at him. “I-I’m sure I’m only…freaking out b-because of everything tonight…”

Ace’s face turns even more concerned. “I’m sorry –”

“No, it’s not what I mean! I-it’s already, late, right? My head is just…weird, really, if anything it’s m-”

**CRAAAASH!!!!**

Sabo jumps back and Ace’s arms come to grab his. Sabo’s body starts shaking and his heart thunders so loud and painful inside his chest it feels like an army was trampling across his body. This time a cold, hard wind rips through the house and it feels like an icy slap across his face.

Ace’s hands are still grabbing his arms hard. Sabo doesn’t notice, the adrenaline pumping through him numbs all pain.

“Th-that was the living room,” Sabo says hoarsely and his teeth chatter. “O-or maybe this is a f-fucking dream…”

“D-does that mean s-someone is here?” Ace replies with a stutter and his voice sounds so high Sabo would’ve laughed if his body wasn’t frozen with fear.

“I-I’ll t-take a look,” Sabo says bravely. Everything inside him screams to turn on his heel and leave this fucking house for good, but this is still his bloody home – and god, what the hell is this night, how can so many events happen in the span of just a few hours?

It’s half 3 in the morning, and maybe the stress and grief between them have caused them to hallucinate…together…

_Stop it, Sabo! Get a grip!_

“W-wait here,” Sabo croaks. Rather he himself runs into the danger than his single most important person in his life – rather Sabo gest injured than him –

“No fucking way,” Ace says immediately and Sabo smiles at him thankfully.

And with his hear thundering worse with every step Sabo walks toward the living room. The door is ajar. And with his lungs stopping, he pushes it open and steps bravely into the dim living room and switches on the light with shaking fingers. A cold, hard, wet wind hits Sabo in the face and he shudders, his eyes scanning the empty room and he looks to the right –

**“WAAAAH!!”**

 

********

 

**Ace**

 

His heart lurches with shock when Sabo starts screaming in horror and he jumps forward when Sabo stumbles backwards, against his chest and then Sabo turns around and hides his face in Ace’s chest, his entire body convulsing. Ace wraps his arms around him.

“What, Sabo?!” Ace asks frightened.

“T-t-t-terrace,” Sabo stutters and Ace looks up – to see something that nearly makes his stomach turn over.

He slaps a hand to his mouth to keep himself from gagging in disgust.

A grown deer slammed through the window front to the terrace and now lies half on the terrace, half in the living room, with its antlers broken and blood seeping into the crème-coloured carpet. The large eyes are wide open and empty. Greyish foam sits in the corners of its open muzzle. His skull is cracked and brain matter mixes with the blood.

Ace feels his whole body coil with nausea and suddenly Sabo pushes him away and runs to the guest toilet. He can hear him throw up. Ace feels pretty ill himself, the sight is hideous.

_What the…fuck…_

What the hell happened, why did the deer run into Sabo’s house, why the hell - ? The thing is massive, what did it cause to run like crazy and commit suicide like that…?

Ace rubs his eyes, breathing through his mouth to keep the nausea at bay.

The rain continues to hammer against the windows that are still intact and the wind helps to clear his mind. This has to be an accident. Deers also run over streets at night when a car is approaching. Maybe the deer got upset due to the storm and ran wild.

_O-or it has weird diseases…_

He steps backwards and then shakes his head violently. Whatever it is, they can’t do anything right now…

“Sabo?” Ace asks carefully and returns to the hallway. Sabo is still kneeling over the toilet. He can see him tremble violently.

“Shhh…it’s ok…,” Ace murmurs comfortingly and rubs his back. “It’s ok, I promise…”

“There is….a fucking…dead animal…in my living room…,” Sabo says with a grave voice and he turns around to look at him with his blue eyes very wide and dark and his face completely ashen. “Ace. A dead fucking animal.”

And his head whips around and he retches again. Ace worriedly rubs his back but Sabo has to calm his body down on his own. He can’t help him with that.

Ace leaves him in peace and returns, on unsteady legs, to the living room. This is insane. This is, by all means, absolutely insane. How big…is the chance that the only bloody night he stays at Sabo’s place, a freaking deer crashes through the window front and dies on the carpet?

Ace shakes his head slowly and slowly approaches the cadaver. It’s massive. He has a great respect for these assholes; Law, their friend who works at city hospital, showed him pics from the emergency room where he tended people whose cars crashed into deers. Sometimes, the antlers had bored right through their torsos. These animals destroy cars like toys.

And yet it’s lying here, in its own blood and brain matter. Dead.

This is…just insane. Utterly unbelievable.

He’s about to inspect the deer closer when something catches his attention. He lifts his gaze and sees a torch approaching through the darkness and the raging rain. He narrows his eyes. Yes, it is indeed a torch light. Ace straightens his shoulders. Something about this...is just very, very strange.

 

********

 

“Who the hell are you? Where is Sabo?” the man barks as soon as he stands on Sabo’s terrace. Muddy water seems to drip down his beard and bushy brows. His heavy clothes look wild and dishevelled, like he just skinned a dead animal and threw its pelt over as a makeshift coat.

Ace narrows his eyes once again. He folds his arms in front of his chest. _Who the fuck…?_

“Yo, answer me!” the man barks and Ace, against his will, winces at the loud voice.

“Sabo will be here in a minute. I’m his friend,” Ace says sternly. “Who’re you?”

“The ranger, Teach. I followed this one from the forest. Looks like found his end here, huh? Bwahahaaha,” the man laughs without humour, nodding at the deer.

He steps closer – he is drenched with rain, but if he feels the impossible coldness, he doesn’t seem to mind one bit. Ace gets goosebumps only looking at him. He looks like he’s been outside the entire day. He smells heavily of wet wood and earth.

The man nudges the deer with his foot.

“Poor bastard.”

“What are you doing here?” Ace asks in a low voice. The man’s dark bug eyes focus on him and Ace sees a weird, disturbing gleam in them.

“I’m the ranger, boy,” he barks angrily. “And fo-”

“Ace, what – o-oh, g-good evening,” comes Sabo’s weakened voice from the living room door and Ace half turns around to see Sabo slowly approach, his face still sickly pale, but he looks like has calmed down a little.

“Sabo – you have a dead deer here,” the ranger states the obvious and Ace frowns, watching Sabo’s reaction.

Sabo nods, although he avoids looking at the cadaver (Ace can’t blame him), but – although someone professional is here now, Sabo doesn’t look relieved in the slightest. Actually…quite the opposite.

“Y-yeah, w-we just noticed…,” Sabo replies.

“Sabo, shall I call the cops?” Ace asks, with his hand already reaching to his pocket when suddenly Teach jumps forward.

“No!! No for god’s sake, no, stop it!!” he yells so loud Ace flinches.

“What?” Ace asks irritated. “Why the hell not?”

“First of all, I’m the bloody ranger, boy, so this is my business to tend. And the police take ages to get here. Just leave it here and I’ll make sure it’s gone by tomorrow noon,” Teach says angrily.

Ace turns to look at Sabo. Sabo meets his gaze. He doesn’t look convinced, but then the blond man shrugs.

“Can you guarantee me that this thing is gone tomorrow?” Sabo asks with a sigh, and he goes to grab his own phone.

“Definitely.”

Sabo goes to make photos for his insurance and Ace raises his brow when Teach steps out of sight like he was avoiding fire. What an odd man.

Sabo curses in a low voice and then runs a hand through his hair.

“Then I’ll leave you to it. I need…I’ll be upstairs then. Just don’t…don’t ruin my books.”

And with that he nods at Ace and turns around.

Ace hesitates. “You sure you’re gonna be alright?” Ace asks unconvinced.

He doesn’t trust this crazy fucker one bit. He doesn’t look like a ranger, he looks like a damn criminal on the run. The way he stares at the dead deer like it was a platter of food. Ace feels his stomach tightening in disgust. And now he can smell the strong odour surrounding the man. The distinct smell of hard liquor sticks to his clothes like glue. Ace’s frown deepens.

_So, he’s also a drunkard, huh…?_

“Obviously, boy. Now give me some space,” he man growls hungrily, his eyes running over the damp brown fur of the animal.

Ace blinks, but then he shakes his head. Jesus Christ, whatever…hopefully…hopefully this chaos is gone by tomorrow…

“Good luck with that,” he mumbles and then he goes to follow Sabo upstairs. But the sense of uneasiness only increases with every step he takes. Something…isn’t right at all.

 

********

 

When he returns to Sabo’s bedroom, the man as already slipped back underneath the covers. Ace quietly closes the door behind him and turns the lock. Sabo shifts.

“You ok?” Ace asks as he approaches.

“Not really,” Sabo mumbles, but he lifts the blanket for Ace to slip under. The small gesture sends a bit of warmth and the sense of normality through Ace’s tense body and he slides under the sheets, welcomed by Sabo’s arms.

“I’m sorry about all this,” Ace says quietly, wrapping his arms around Sabo’s frame.

“Fufu, thanks, but it’s really not your fault,” Sabo replies with a small smile. “This…was just a long string of unlucky events, no more. But you being here is definitely not one of them.”

Ace smiles back and they lean their foreheads together.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he hears Sabo whisper faintly and his heart jumps happily at the simple words.

“Me too,” he whispers back.

And then he closes his eyes. This...has been a very, very long night.

 

********

 

**Sabo**

 

He can’t sleep. But it’s not like earlier that night, when his heart had been upset because of his ex-boyfriend coming here, out of the blue. No, now the presence of Ace is the only reason he doesn’t freak out completely.

Sabo can’t sleep because a deer ran through his glass front and died on his carpet and because the crazy ranger turned up out of nowhere and offered to take care of it, whatever that means. Sabo frowns, turning his head to glance at the time. Nearly 5 in the morning. It's still pitch-black outside.

He inhales and exhales slowly and then he looks to his left. Ace’s face is half buried in the pillows, but his arm still rests securely around Sabo’s waist. The fact makes him smile. He’s really glad that Ace is here.

Sabo lifts a hand to caress Ace’s freckled cheekbone when he hears a weird rumble coming from downstairs.

_Wait, did I…?_

Again, the sound of furniture being forcefully pushed around. And then it bangs loudly. He stops breathing.

_Wasn’t that the sofa..?!_

“Ace. Ace, wake up,” Sabo says hectically, shaking Ace’s shoulder. “Ace, wake up! Listen!”

“Nnng…Sabo…?”

“Listen! Downstairs!” Sabo says and he already jumps out of the bed. “He’s moving my fucking furniture!”

Ace sits up groggily, his eyes still threaten to fall close, but then a loud, dull rumble comes from downstairs and the man blinks in surprise.

“What the fuck…?” Ace asks irritated and he swings his legs out of bed. “Shit, I knew this was a bad idea….”

Sabo walks toward the door but he stops as he suddenly hears the noise of more glass crashing downstairs – _and the sound of furniture being flipped over violently._ Ace hurries to the door and opens it to peek outside and the brutal noises are suddenly so much louder now and Sabo blinks rapidly, his heart jumping and fluttering nervously. Ace closes the door again.

“He’s trashing the place!” Ace concludes the obvious and he looks him straight in the eyes. “We need to call the police. This is not a fucking joke anymore, this is insane!”

But Sabo doesn’t move as he still tries to comprehend that a bloody deer first crashed through the window front and now the fucking ranger is willingly destroying his possessions, and Ace looks at him for a moment before he reaches out one hand to grab Sabo’s. With the other he swiftly pulls his phone out of his pocket and moves his thumb over the screen, then he lifts it to his ear.

While Ace is on the phone, Sabo tries to breathe evenly and he swallows dryly, the adrenaline flooding his veins, but the cold, numbing panic is diminishing now, and he knows he’d be scared shitless if it wasn’t for Ace being with him right now.

_With Ace, nothing seems that scary anymore…_

“They said we should wait and stay put, it’ll take them like 30 minutes to get here,” Ace mutters grimly.

“No fucking way, he’s demolishing the entire ground floor!” Sabo replies heatedly in a low voice, and they both flinch when they hear even more glass crashing downstairs. They look at each other.

“Hang on!” Sabo whispers and walks to the window. He jumps onto his desk and rips the curtain rods down. Better than nothing.

And Ace looks like he is seriously debating laughing or being worried about him, but Sabo just thrusts the thing against the man’s chest.

“My fucking books are worth more than 3000 pounds, alright?” Sabo hisses grimly and pushes Ace to the side and he slowly opens the door.

The noise downstairs becomes louder and more menacing by the second and his heart drums full of excitement and fear and his blood is boiling with the adrenaline. Maybe it’s because he’s just so damn tired and exhausted and confused that he can’t think straight anymore but right now –there is no fucking way some lunatic ranger is gonna destroy this already goddamn chaotic evening by ruining his precious books – _of which twenty-one hardcovers have been presents from Ace himself…_

Ace with him, having his back…no matter what the man does downstairs, it won’t scare Sabo. It won’t, because with Ace…

_There’s nothing to be scared of anymore._

And before he can enter the hallway, he suddenly feels an arm wrap around his middle and he feels a heated kiss pressed against his neck.

“That’s the Sabo I know,” Ace says quietly and Sabo can feel the smile on the man’s lips and Sabo snorts, lifting the curtain rod higher.

“Let’s see why the fucker has the audacity to ruin my living room.”

 

********

 

They hear the nerve-wrecking noise of splintering wood and then there’s a sound as though metal was dragged across the kitchen floor and then there’s another crash, like someone smashed through the living room window on the left and Sabo feels his courage dropping and his stomach twists and the cold, heavy fear threatens to take over again. He stops walking on the third stair step from the bottom, his breath catching in his lungs because suddenly he’s so fucking scared, for his home, for his books, for _Ace_ –

God, what if something happens to Ace _ohgodfucknowIcan’tletthathappenAce_ –

He flinches and nearly digs his curtain rod into Ace’s stomach when the man behind him reassuringly puts his hand on Sabo’s shoulder.

“Shall I go first?” Ace asks, and from his high-pitched voice Sabo knows he’s just as nervous as Sabo feels.

But Sabo shakes his head. This is his house after all, and he’d rather get hurt than see the single most important person in his life be hurt in place of himself.

“No. I need you t-to watch my back,” Sabo whispers back in a pressed, hurried voice and Ace squeezes his shoulder.

“Always.”

And he takes a deep breath and takes the next step.

The door to the living room is half open and only hangs barely in its hinges as though someone tried to knock it out of the frame. A wet, icy cold wind blows through the ground floor and Sabo starts shivering as he realises that the ranger must’ve smashed in the rest of the glass front to the terrace. The light is switched off or maybe he smashed the light, who knows. His frantic torch illuminates the living room and heavy, angry steps echo all throughout the building and Sabo feels how violent shivers make his body tremble and the hairs on his neck stand on end.

This is so fucking surreal. So fucking surreal it can’t be true.

It crashes again and this time it’s the sound of heavy items tumbling onto the carpet and Sabo feels a spark of rage igniting his tight stomach. Then there is a sickeningly wet splashing sound, like when you step into a deep puddle of mud.

“My books!!” he whispers furiously.

“He’s on the right side of the living room then. You go through this door, I’ll use the kitchen door and we’ll get him from two sides,” Ace whispers hurriedly into his ear.

His words make Sabo turn around. He doesn’t want Ace to leave his side, hell not even for a few seconds, _what it something happens to you - ?_

And Ace passes him a smile that looks by far not as confident as he probably thinks: “It’ll work out. Somehow. It’s two against one.”

“But he’s a maniac –,” Sabo protests when another window is smashed in and they flinch, hands instinctively flying to grasp each other.

“Let’s do this, before he demolishes the entire house,” Ace says, brows furrowed and Sabo can feel his thundering heartbeat vibrating in his body and Sabo swallows hard. Ace is right.

“Ok…”

And Ace squeezes his hand tightly, before they separate at the kitchen door.

“Shhh.”

And Sabo nods and Ace disappears in the dark kitchen and Sabo’s heart starts to pound so painfully inside his chest he thinks the ranger must be able to hear it echo loudly from the walls and his knuckles have gone white around the curtain rod and god why did he even think this was a good idea, he’ll die, Ace is gonna die, this was a freaking idiotic idea!!!

But he has no time to call Ace back as he can hear him move through the kitchen and Sabo curses internally, before he grits his teeth so hard his jaw cracks and then he lifts the curtain rod higher, ready to strike, and he moves toward the demolished door to the living room.

The torch of the ranger throws dancing, laughing shadows over the floor and walls and reveals the unbelievable chaos. Dark red blood is smeared across the walls and his TV, there is even blood drpping from the ceiling and when Sabo looks down he sees a butchered deer leg lay forgotten in front of the door.

He feels his stomach turn over and his head starts swimming.

The furniture is either flipped over or broken, all covered with mud and dark red deer blood, he can see broken glass everywhere and large puddles of muddy water, blood and brain matter soak into the carpet and Sabo nearly throws up again.

The fierce November wind sweeps through the house, howling with euphoria at the destruction and Sabo shivers as though he was touched by icy cold claws and for a split second he wants to run and hide because this is just too much, too big for him to handle, so he better run away like the coward he is, like he did two years ago –

_No!_

He narrows his eyes. He can’t run away like that anymore – not this time! He ran away once and ruined his life and Ace’s life too, it ruined their happiness and all that could’ve been because he was a fucking coward and liar. He can’t let it happen again, _never_ again!

And he sends a silent prayer to any gods that may listen and he peeks around the corner and the rage washes away his fear.

Sabo has been collecting books since he’d learned how to read, all these years ago when he’d been hardly more than a toddler. And ever since then, books had been his fascination and passion and since forever he’d counted them as his most precious possessions. Like, he used to tell Ace that he’d rather have a burglar in his house stealing all his cash, cards and electronic gadgets  - although the loss of his PS4 would hurt indeed – than have someone only so much as touch his precious works of literature. Ace knew this, and although he used to smile warmly at his words, the man had taken him seriously, since for the longest time Sabo’s heart and mind had been open books to Ace as well.

Yes, truly, Sabo loves his collection not only because they’re fantastic and inspiring books– but ever since he was small, they’ve been his refuge, these countless different worlds he could escape into whenever he felt like it. And so, each and every of these books have become a home to him, a dearly loved place to return to.

And now he can see them on the ground, trampled on with muddy, bloodied boots, some are ripped apart in the middle, others soaking wet and covered with grime and mud and filth, pages flutter through the air like dead leaves and Sabo feels himself shaking with a fury he hasn’t known till now, because not only did that ranger destroyed his living room – he destroyed every fucking home Sabo possesses.

The ranger is kneeling on the ground, amidst the splintered wood that had been Sabo’s bookshelf a few hours ago. The long, matted dark strands of hair hang off his enormous skull like greasy ropes and the horrendous face is pulled into an ugly, triumphant grin as he continues to search through Sabo’s books with a scaring recklessness.

His face is splattered with blood and Sabo’s eyes widen as he focuses on the deer. Or more like what had been the deer. The head is missing and its belly was ripped open, the organs spill over the ground like thick worms and the butchered legs were thrown across the room. Sabo presses his hand against his mouth to keep himself from puking.

Teach digs through the huge mountain of literature like it was a pile of dirt, with large paw-like hands he digs through the books and the punishing sound of ripping paper mixes with the howling of the wind and Sabo grits his teeth in an angry, disgusted snarl. The smell of hard liquor settles nauseously in his nose and throat and he can see how the man is staggering and then resumes destroying Sabo’s books with even more vigour, the dangerous enthusiasm of a wild animal.

Sabo is of a heart to call out the ranger’s name, but then he sees Ace, barely a man’s length from the drunk and mindless ranger, through the slightly ajar kitchen door, and Sabo sees his dark eyes widening at the sight of the frightening destruction in Sabo’s living room.

And suddenly it all happens so fast.

Like he could sense another human so close, the ranger suddenly jerks his head around to fix Ace and Sabo’s heart lurches in fear for the most important person in his life. The ranger suddenly starts roaring, no words but an incomprehensible deep rumble so impossibly loud Sabo’s teeth chatter and his ears ring and all of the sudden the enormous man grabs one of the still halfway intact shelves and throws it after Ace –

Ace yells in surprise and goes for a dive headfirst behind the small dining table that lies on its side, in a lake of broken glass from the window front and Sabo can hear Ace curse obscenely as he slams into the shards.

_“Ace!”_

But the ranger growls in anger and grabs the next half broken case board and jumps after Ace to smash the board over his head and crack his skull and Ace dodges the blow that instead slams into the dad deer’s body and blood flies everywhere. And Ace just yells in horror, Sabo can hear him screaming at him to stand back and Ace stumbles backwards, over the flipped sofa. 

And the ranger is there and his menacing grin cuts his face in two as he lifts the board again to strike and Ace is on the ground, lifting his arms to protect his head.

Sabo freezes and he can already see the board crashing through Ace’s flesh and bones and an overwhelming rage settles inside his chest, wiping out everything else, and he jumps forward, with a wild roar, and slams his curtain rod into the man’s head and the impact is so hard his hands hurt and the rod breaks in two and mid-movement, the man halts and Sabo can see a waterfall of red flowing down from the back of his head now.

“Sabo –”

But there is no time for triumph when the man’s angry little eyes fly around to fix Sabo and Sabo’s stomach turns at the incredible hatred in his gaze and he staggers backwards when the man suddenly lets the board fall onto Ace.

His claw-like hands thrust forwards to grab Sabo in a grip so painful he believes his fingers dig through his skin. Next thing he know is how he loses the ground under his feet and he slams sideways into the wall next to his broken TV. Sabo doesn’t even hear the impact of his own body against the wall, all he knows is an excruciating pain spreading from his head and shoulder and arm to every last cell of his body. He crashes to the ground, unable to breathe, dizzy and disoriented. Something warm drips down his face and covers his eyes with a thick fog of crimson.

 He grimaces and coughs throw a mouth full of blood. _God...where…what…?_

“SABO!!!”

And Ace’s panicked scream makes him flinch and his heart squeezes tightly as he blinks through the blood and he sees how Ace, stupid, silly, brave Ace is back on his feet and slams his clenched fist into the man’s jaw, so loud even Sabo hears the cracking of bones.

And both of them start howling in pain, the ranger staggers backwards, holding his probably broken jaw and Ace curses loudly, shaking his right hand and Sabo can only imagine how much it hurts, and then Ace aims with his other fist and his left hook hits the man right above the eye and this time the man lands on his knees with a heavy thud, holding his damaged parts and curses madly in between laboured pants.

And Ace doesn’t even wait as he suddenly dashes to the side to get to Sabo and he crouches down in front of Sabo. Sabo blurrily sees the naked fear in Ace’s ashen face, so much fear and relief alike and his shaking hands come to cup Sabo’s cheeks.

“Shhh, you’re ok, it’s alright, everything’s alright,” Ace whispers or maybe Sabo only imagines his voice in his head because he still can’t form any words, his head is throbbing so, so bad and his ears feel like they are stuffed with cotton. His body feels incredibly heavy and sluggish and it aches, all over. And yet there is only one certain thing in Sabo’s head, one thought in all the chaos, and he lifts his numb fingers to gently touch the back of Ace’s hands. His knuckles are bruised and bleeding.

_You’re hurt…Ace, you’re hurt…_

And Ace blinks, biting his lips.

“You’re bleeding, Sabo. Listen, I can hear sirens, I need you to – ” but he is cut off when suddenly the ranger is towering above them now, like a nightmare come alive, and he has his torch in his hand and Sabo’s eyes widen and his hands claw into Ace’s arms to warn him and he tries to move but his body won’t listen –

And Ace jerks around and he’s about to jump to his feet when the man strikes once – and the torch crashes against the side of Ace’s face and Ace groans in pain, but he is still standing, he stands in front of Sabo – to protect him and –

Ace’s blood drips down on Sabo like hot rain and the ranger lifts the torch again and Ace jumps forward to smash his fist against the man’s face again and he hits but only sloppily and the torch flies around again, smashing into Ace’s head right above his ear and this time Ace’s legs give way and he flies to the side and crashes onto the carpet.

And Ace lies on his side, unmoving.

And the ranger strikes again, the torch slams down into Ace’s unmoving body and Sabo screams and no sound leaves his throat and then it all happens so fast, men, so many armed and uniformed men and women spill into his living room and overwhelm the ranger, dragging him away and medics rush to Sabo and to Ace and Sabo doesn’t even notice his own tears mixing with his blood, all he can think of is Ace, _Ace…_

_Ace is not moving_

_Ace_

_Ace, wake up_

_Ace please, look at me_

_Ace!!_

Over the heads of the frantic medics he can see them gather around him, getting all these tools and bandages to make the bleeding stop and there is so much, _so much blood, Ace –_

And cold, dead fear, fear he’s never known before drops inside his stomach.

Ace isn’t moving, is he even breathing, is he –

The blind, naked panic is an iron grip around Sabo’s lungs and he can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t feel, there’s only Ace

_he’snotmovinghe’snotmovingohmygodAceyou’renotmovingAcepleaseAcepleaseAcemovemovemovepleasesaysomethinghe’snotmovingohmygodoHMYGODHELPHIMHELPHIMHELPHIMACEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASESTANDUPSTANDUPSTANDUPPLEASEACEPLEASE **DON’TLEAVEMEALONEISTILLHAVETOTELLYOUSOMETHINGPLEASESTANDUPPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEIBEGYOUPLEASE!!!!!**_

And he doesn’t hear the medics yelling at him, he doesn’t feel the pain anymore in his body, he doesn’t hear the noise of the police officers beating the ranger into submission only a few feet away, all he can see is the dark hair spilled over his carpet, wet with blood, and then Ace is lifted onto a stretcher and they take him away and Sabo can’t see him anymore.

And Sabo falls into darkness.


	5. Chapter 5

**Ace**

 

When he wakes up he feels… Like he’d been hit by a bus and afterwards run over by a tank. Obviously he’s experienced neither, but he assumes it does come close to what he’s feeling right now. He doesn’t necessarily feel pain, or maybe it’s already so much pain that he doesn’t even register it anymore. He just feels…very heavy and tired and sluggish. Like enormous weights were attached to his limbs, to every centimetre of his skin, even to his eyelids. Thinking is suddenly an impossible effort and it feels like it takes him days to form something like a reasonable thought that isn’t just fuzzy colours and blurry pictures.

The world is dim, weakly illuminated and strangely quiet. He blinks tiredly. Where is he…? This doesn’t look like his bedroom at all, what does that mean…? This looks…wait –

_Sabo –_

And he’s about to jerk upright when he feels a large hand resting on his shoulder and stopping his movement effectively. He moves his panicked gaze to see Trafalgar Law, surgeon and an old friend of both Ace and Sabo’s, stand there in his usual iconic hospital gear – a blue hoodie and a long, snow white doctor’s coat.

He stands beside the medical monitor. It’s nearly 3am, apparently. Ace blinks rapidly and lifts one hand to grasp Law’s wrist.

“Law… _Sabo_ …,” Ace croaks and he starts coughing, because his throat is parched and his tongue feels heavy and numb, and so, so slow. “Sabo…Sabo he…”

“Shhh, calm down, Ace. Everything’s alright,” Law says in his soothing doctor-voice, but it doesn’t soothe Ace’s worries in the slightest, if anything, his heart only picks up speed in fear for Sabo.

Suddenly, Law smiles wickedly and steps to the side to reveal the sight of a sleeping man in the bed next to Ace’s. He’s curled up on his side, with the white hospital duvet pulled up to his nose. His blond hair surrounds his pale face like a halo and he looks so young and vulnerable Ace’s heart squeezes tightly in his chest. There’s a bandage wrapped around Sabo’s head. He believes to see dark blood spots on it. His stomach tightens.

He stares from Sabo to Law and back. Law wordlessly hands him a glass of water that he downs greedily and he starts coughing again. But after that he feels like his brain was slowly coming back to life again and the more awake he becomes, the more pictures and memories and sounds and smells suddenly crash together in his head –

_Wait…_

_What…_

And the memories coming flooding back in one long stream of pictures and emotions, the train ride, the talk, the fight, the destruction, the new boyfriend, the books, the flowers, the ranger, the punches, the fear, the kiss –

_The kiss…_

“He refused to go home. First he slept on the floor outside of your room, and then he was allowed to come in here. He looked like a pile of misery, I’m serious, but he just refused to leave you. He fell asleep like two hours ago,” Law explains, and he gets some of his gadgets ready.

He starts to light a flashlight into Ace’s eyes and checks his reflexes, breathing, pulse and what not. Ace hardly pays attention to his friend, his eyes are still glued to Sabo’s sleeping form.

“How…how long have I been out?” Ace asks hoarsely.

Law glances at his wristwatch. “Just for about 22 hours. It’s early Sunday morning.”

And Ace’s head whips around to stare at Law. “You’re fucking kidding. I wasn’t!”

“Yes you were. Ace, you have a bad concussion, you can be glad that idiot skull of yours wasn’t cracked. Still had to stich you up, the blood was seeping out of you like a damn drain leak. Plus you got a broken rib and partially fractured collarbone, not to mention the countless haematoma. And wait till you see your face,” Law smirks, obviously enjoying this way too much. “You look like a panda. Now relax, I need to check your lungs.”

Ace throws him a dirty look, before he cranes his neck again to see a glimpse of Sabo’s sleeping face. His heart flutters at the sight and starts beating faster and his stomach tightens in both guilt and incredible happiness at the knowledge that Sabo had stayed here the entire time to be with him, Ace – and at the same time he wonders…wonders if he should think something into that…

He hears how Law clears his throat and focuses on his friend again. The surgeon looks like he is biting back a grin and that makes Ace realise that his friend is still listening to his quickly pounding heart and stuttering breath, obviously affected now from thinking about Sabo and what it means that he still here in the hospital with him, instead somewhere else to get the rest he certainly deserves.

His heart actually pounds like crazy now.

Ace feels heat rising to his cheeks.

“I’m just gonna leave this uncommented,” Law takes the piss and pulls the stethoscope out of his ears, but his eyes, reddish and tired from the late hour, gleam with joy. He grins at Ace. “I can’t wait to hear the story behind this. I thought I was hallucinating when they brought the two of you here, plus a big weird-ass looking lunatic who has a criminal record longer than the underground system.”

“So…he wasn’t a real ranger?”

“Apparently not. I only heard a bit of gossip from the nurses, but I believe that he fooled the forestry office that he has a licence – also for carrying a rifle and shooting animals. But in reality he is a complete lunatic, he was in jail several times already due to zoophilia, desecration of the dead and attempted necrophilia. I assume you don’t want to know what he did with that deer before you and Sabo interrupted him…but let’s say the nurses refused to touch him.”

Ace frowns, trying hard to keep his brain from forming pictures. God that is disgusting…and at the same time Ace feels how his fists clench at the thought that Sabo had lived near that crazy man for so long. Sabo was in such grave danger, and…and if Ace hadn’t been there that evening…

He closes his eyes, and calms his breathing. No, he doesn’t even want to think about it. This is just complete and utter insanity. Nothing his brain can even begin to comprehend.

“So…and why did the deer come into Sabo’s living room in the first place?” Ace asks.

“From what I’ve heard the deer had been shot right underneath the shoulder blades. It wasn’t enough to kill it right away, but enough to drive it absolutely nuts with pain. And then it ran into Sabo’s house wall several times, before it crashed through the the windows and died of internal bleedings,” Law says with a shrug.

“Does that mean it was planned?” Ace asks, his voice rising and La shushes him gently. His friend smiles at him a little exhaustedly.

“Calm down, Ace. It’s over now, I promise.”

“But –”

“He’s safe, Ace.”

And Ace blinks, falling silent. Law continues to scribble some notes down on his pad and Ace has time to examine his maltreated body. The tightness at some places tells him that he has bandages wrapped around him. However…He doesn’t feel too bad, if he is quite honest with himself. It could certainly be worse. He just feels really heavy and sluggish.

At some point he realises why his head actually feels so heavy. He lifts a hand to touch the massive turban wrapped around his skull. He really doesn’t feel any pain at all.

“…Is it really that bad?” Ace asks. He doesn’t feel like…well, having a concussion and broken bones. He really doesn’t feel like it.

And Law snorts a laugh, gently squeezing his shoulder. “Dude, you have so many painkillers in your system I could probably saw your legs off and you wouldn’t even notice a thing.”

Ace rolls his eyes, before he looks up into his friend’s face.

“What about the crazy ranger?”

“He received emergency treatment here, but he wasn’t as badly injured as you and Sabo. Then he was taken to another hospital where police officers will watch him until he’s recovered enough to be taken into custody,” Law says with a shrug.

Ace sighs. “That’s good to know. And what about Sabo?” he asks, his eyes returning to the man on the other bed.

Already the fact that Sabo got injured makes Ace wish he’d punched the ranger twice as hard. Maybe bored one of the deer’s antlers through his body…

“Just bad bruises on his shoulder and upper torso, and he got stitches at the side of his head, where he crashed into a wall, I believe. He should be alright in no time, without lasting effects.”

And Ace smiles in relief and he tries to relax a bit more. “I’m glad.”

Law looks at him for a moment, before he goes to scribble some notes on his clipboard.

“Honestly though, I want to hear what exactly happened.  It’s not like I’ve never seen the two of you ending up in a hospital after a fight... But all of that was before you guys broke up. So...Friday night…?”

Ace sighs. His fingers start drawing invisible lines into the duvet. “It’s…complicated, Law.”

Law raises a brow at that and he throws a glance back over his shoulder at Sabo, before he fixes his gaze on Ace again.

“Is it really?”

“Law, c’mon –”

“Ok, I won’t say a word anymore. But you owe me a good explanation. Well, I need to get back to work and I am in dire need of a coffee. Or rather ten espressos. Anyways, try and go back to sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Ace nods, but he isn’t satisfied yet. He is…confused. He abstractedly fists his hands into the sheets.

At his hesitation, Law passes him a worried smile. “Are you really ok? Do you need anything else?”

Ace doesn’t know how to put it. He… _really_ doesn’t know, to be quite honest. He thinks he is alright… but maybe it’s just the painkillers fooling him into thinking that.

It’s just all been…a lot. Chaotic. Crazy. And he needs to sort things out, in his head…and his heart.

With Sabo.

So he shrugs. In the last few hours his heart has endured more than he would have ever believed possible. And now…now he almost dreads to reflect on it. Because it means going through the fear and and hope and anger and sadness and grief all over again.

He inhales and exhales slowly.

“I’ll see, I guess… But I…it’s all not as bad as before, I think. O-or more…I…hope.”

Law actually laughs in a low voice at his words.

“Sounds ironic given the fact you say that with a concussion and fractures. But I’m not judging. In a way, I understand. And I’m happy for you, old friend. It’s about time.”

And Ace blinks at him thankfully. “Thanks, man.”

And Law nods, and with one last friendly clap to his shoulder, he leaves the room, switching off the light.

When Law is gone, Ace sighs, getting comfortable in the pillows again. Sabo is still sleeping soundly and he doesn’t want to wake him up. Ace just pulls the covers up high again and closes his eyes. But then an idea pops into his mind. He forces his eyes open again and looks around. Did someone think of taking his phone…? Ah yeah, there it is, on the nightstand.

He grabs it, but then he remembers that he still doesn’t have Sabo’s number. He frowns, looking around.

Damn it…

And then his eyes fix on a box of tissues, beside the monitor. And a smile forms on his lips. He reaches for it and then he luckily finds a pen in one of the drawers of the night stand.

On the tissue, he scribbles a note in his usual horrible handwriting, but he hopes Sabo is going to be able to read it anyways.

And then he reaches out his arm to place the tissue next to Sabo’s nose.

So the first thing the man will see when he wakes up will be hopefully Ace’s shitty note, saying

_Thank you for staying here. I hope you are ok – Ace._

 

********

 

Hours later, when Ace wakes up, the blond man is gone.

And so is the note.

And he has a new number saved in his phone.

Ace laughs in utter bliss and relief, before his head starts throbbing again menacingly and he yells for whoever is around to give him some goddamn painkillers because shit, now he fucking feels like he was hit by an airplane and just won the lottery at the same time and these two extremes are definitely too much for him.

His skull feels like it is being cracked open from the inside and he blinks the tears of pain away, at the same time he laughs blissfully like a complete maniac. A nurse sticks her head through the door, only to frown at him fearfully and then retract back to the hallway.

Law, face pale and grim after an hour-long shift, comes flying through the door and snarls at him to shut up and stop moving around so his sutures wouldn’t reopen.

And all Ace can do, despite his pain, is to smile and pull his friend in for a hug. His hand is still clasped around his phone.

This long, very long night is over, it seems.

********

**Sabo**

 

He pulls his hair back to check the stitches Law removed a while ago. The wound is healing pretty nicely, it is hardly visible anymore, he only still has to watch out whenever he washes his hair. Aside from that, it’s fine. He sighs at his mirror image in his phone. Has it really been four weeks already?

Well, yes, must’ve been. It’s mid-December now and the city is covered with a beautiful, thick icing of snow that has immediately stopped several public transport lines from functioning. Even the airport closed down for a few hours yesterday, causing massive delays and public anger, but that’s nothing new.

Sabo looks outside his office window. He’s at the main campus of the university him and Ace used to visit. He can see a few students running around the court yard and throwing snowballs at each other. The sight makes Sabo grin, despite the dread he feels for the upcoming conversation he is going to have. He rubs the bridge of his nose. It was supposed to happen eventually, anyways, after what happened between Ace and him…

But still, he wishes he could spare Luffy the talk. But he can’t. Not after Ace returned into his life with the impact of a freaking hurricane.

And hiding this truth from Luffy would be a blatant insult, because the boy is seriously a living, breathing sunshine and he deserves all the love and good things in the world. Actually, to be quite honest with himself, Sabo is sure he would’ve fallen for the younger man eventually. He’s just a person to fall in love with, as simple as it sounds.

But like this… There’s no chance anymore of it happening any time soon.

Because Sabo’s heart, once again, is in safe hands.

His phone buzzes and his heart jumps excitedly when he sees that he got a new text from Ace. At the same time he feels pretty silly, because he has known the man since he was nine, and he’d been in a five-year relationship with him. Plus, Sabo is 24 and really not a teenager anymore, Ace even turns 25 in January. He shouldn’t become this excited over a text. But still…

It all just feels like a fresh love, in an odd, and yet satisfying and heart-warming way, despite the fact that they’d already been together, for a very long time even. This new love, which isn’t actually new at all, does weird things to Sabo’s body, it really does.

Like giving him butterflies in his stomach simply because Ace send him the cheesy smiley face that blows a kiss, or because the man send him a voice message right before going to sleep, stating in his sleep-husky voice how he wishes him a good night and sweet dreams.

It’s the same cheesiness Sabo knows from Ace, the man hasn’t really changed in that aspect, but still... it feels different now. As though Sabo’s heart, after this long time of aching and hurting, has come to appreciate it so, so much more.

He smiles to himself. Well, who would’ve known that after all this time and all this heartbreak and grief…he has found a happy ending. Both of them. Together. Life is truly a jigsaw he will never understand.

And maybe that is the exciting part of it.

He decides he will answer the text later and instead he focuses on the papers again he has been reading. He looks up when he hears a soft knocking on the door. He clears his throat and stands up from behind his desk. He puts his phone away.

“Come in!” he says calmly and as expected, Luffy comes through the door, with a grin on his face, but he does seem nervous. He has a thick red winter parka on and a fluffy beanie covering his raven hair. His cheeks are flushed from playing in the snow. He looks adorable and once again, Sabo’s heart stings with remorse. Luffy definitely deserved better.

Sabo manages to smile and greets him with a hug. They both don’t go in for a kiss. It pains Sabo. But it has to be this way.

He’s been purposely waiting with this conversation until after Luffy’s deadlines and assignments, so the boy wouldn’t be distracted. But Luffy is a smart one. He obviously noticed the change in their relationship.

Truth be told, Sabo has been feeling terrible about all of this. He didn’t…well, he wasn’t two-timing on purpose, if one could even call it that… Ace, obviously, is aware of the struggle and hasn’t pushed him. And Luffy… yeah, he must’ve noticed that Sabo’s kisses and hugs have become fewer and fewer, no matter how much it pained him.

And now… Luffy’s exams are done for this term and he has handed in his last assignment the night before. Christmas vacation starts in a few days and Luffy will go home to celebrate with his family and friends in his old hometown.

So he will hopefully be distracted by his many loved ones. And not waste too many thoughts on Sabo. At least that’s what Sabo hopes.

Luffy peels the beanie from his head and shakes his dark locks. Then he goes to sit down on the sofa in one corner of Sabo’s small office. Sabo follows him.

“Ahm, so, how have you been?” Sabo asks him politely, but Luffy just raises one eyebrow in humour and he grins, albeit a little saddened.

“C’mon, Sabo, I know something’s going on. So please tell me now, ok?”

And Sabo blinks, before he sighs, his heart beating fast.

“I…well, ok…I…”

And Luffy remains silent, waiting for him to collect his words. And then Sabo sighs deeply, before he looks him in the eyes and says: “I’m sorry but…I…I…”

“…I…love someone else.”

Luffy just looks at him, with unreadable eyes now, and Sabo clenches his fingers to worried fists, when Luffy just lets out a long sigh and he falls back into the pillows of the sofa. Creating distance between them. The grin has vanished from his face and his brows are coming together in an unhappy frown. He looks tired and miserable now and the sight breaks Sabo’s heart.

“And…I am sorry. I’m…just really sorry, Luffy. And I mean it,” he adds raspily.

Luffy rubs his nose, before he looks him in the eyes again and he asks, with his brows raised and his eyes reddening with moistness: “That Ace guy?”

Sabo hesitates a moment, before he nods. “Yes. Him.”

The younger man lets out a light curse, before he rubs his eyes. And then he smiles at Sabo again, although he does look genuinely hurt now, and when Sabo sees how Luffy’s lips start to quiver, he has to keep himself from taking his words back because god, he is such an idiot, he should’ve never even started dating him, not when he was still so obviously in love with someone else…

And now he hurt this young man, a man who doesn’t deserve having his heart broken like that…not in a million years…

Luffy snuffles a little. “Ok, well…I-I mean… haha, who wouldn’t fall for him, huh, tall a-and cool and handsome and...?”

And Sabo is quick as a lightning to shut down that destructive thought process.

“No! No, don’t say that! Listen, it’s different. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but Ace and I used to be in a relationship, way before I met you. A-and I was the one who broke it off. And…that evening, I…I realised…o-or rather I finally admitted to myself…”

“That you still love him?” Luffy asks in a low voice.

And Sabo swallows hard, before he nods again. “Yes.”

Luffy bites his lower lip and looks to the side. Sabo starts apologising again, he genuinely feels bad for having upset the man, and god Luffy definitely deserved better than this, albeit what can he do… But then, a few moments later, Luffy smiles again. Not as happy as usually, but – it’s a smile.

And Luffy nods and blinks the tears away.

“Ok…then…I-I’m happy for you, ok?”

“Luffy…”

“And…but…when he’s a dick to you, I’m gonna snatch you back!!!”

And Sabo laughs at that and he reaches out one hand to grasp Luffy’s hot fingers.

“Thank you,” Sabo says and smiles at him. “Thank you for everything, Luffy. I mean it. I loved the time with you, more than you can imagine.”

And Luffy hesitates, before he laces their fingers together one last time. Sabo blinks. He will miss the feeling of this. He loves holding Ace’s hand, but… he has grown familiar with Luffy’s innocent grasp. The kind warmth and vitality radiating from him. He will, for sure, miss him for a very long time.

“But we can still talk, right?” Luffy asks now, the frown returning to his face and his grasp gets tighter. Sabo gently caresses the back of his hand with his thumb.

“Of course. I’d be really sad if we didn’t.”

And Luffy bites his lip, before he gives him a sheepish smile: “And you are still helping me with my assignments?”

“Fufu, sure.”

“And you still let me and my friends use the Macrooms overnight?”

Sabo allowed it once, because how can he say no to that adorable face. Well, Luffy and his friends had spent the entire night playing videogames together. They’d left the room thankfully rather clean and intact the next morning, but still Sabo had been worried they’d break one of the university’s precious and expensive iMacs. They didn’t, thank god.

Sabo grins wryly: “Now that’s pushing it”, but after he sees Luffy’s adorable pout, he sighs and says: “Of course.”

Luffy grins, stepping a little closer, but then he hesitates. And he looks at Sabo, and suddenly the younger man looks very vulnerable.

“And c-can I have…you know, a memory…?”

And Sabo blinks, before he smiles again and he pulls him closer for a kiss. Their very last kiss.

********

 

**Ace**

 

“Hey, did you remember to fill the gas this time? You promised you’d drive me home on Sunday,” Ace says with a grin and sends the voice message to Sabo.

He’s still on the train – he should arrive in about fifteen minutes – and the snow-covered landscape, nearly invisible against the pitch black sky but nonetheless beautiful, is a nice compensation for all the hours of his life he’s already lost travelling to that godforsaken location at the end of the world. He glances at the time again. It’s barely half 6. The evening is still young.

Ace smiles contently to himself. He may complain about it, but actually, he loves the fact that this train ride has become pretty familiar to him. He’s been travelling out here countless times over the last couple of weeks and each time had been even more amazing than the one before.

His heart flutters excitedly at the prospect of seeing his ex-boyfriend-now-boyfriend-again so soon. He can’t even keep a straight face, he grins like a fool out of the window whilst he turns the volume of his phone up and he switches to a different playlist. He feels so unbelievably good and completely at peace with himself, it is truly astonishing. Christmas is a terribly busy time at his workplace at New World Inc., but no matter how much his supervisor yells at him, it can’t diminish his splendid mood one bit.

His eyes wander to the bouquet of dark red roses, with a few white ones in between. It sits comfortably on top of his bag. Sabo invited him to stay the entire weekend, so Ace packed the appropriate stuff and change of clothes. He also has a bottle of wine in his bag, together with a chocolate Santa, to get them into the yuletide mood. Ace can hardly believe that next week is already Christmas.

He sighs contently to himself. At first, of course, it was somewhat awkward between them. For instance, they both had looked like they went through hell (which they have, in a way) and they had trouble clearly distinguishing what they are (together, yes, but _how_ exactly?) and Sabo was technically still together with his now ex-boyfriend and that had made it all really confusing in the beginning.

Because, on the one hand, Ace and Sabo know each other very, very well. But still, almost two years of being apart is not something one just shakes off within a minute. So they had carefully started to get to know each other again. Been on dates that were just as cheesy and funny as they used to be. Went to see their friends together, who had been more than happy to finally see the two of them in one room again and smiling at each other, the way they used to all these years ago.

They slowly started to fill the month-long time of emptiness with thoughts and memories and anecdotes. And it all went fairly smoothly, Ace has to admit. Of course it wasn’t easy. But…it felt right, in every sense, and well worth the patience.

Sabo’s flat had been repaired and renovated and thankfully Sabo’s insurance had come up with the money to replace all his destroyed items and possessions, from his furniture to the books.

However, Sabo mentioned that he was contemplating moving out again next year – a decision Ace can definitely understand, given the events. Ace is actually pretty impressed Sabo can sleep in that damn house on his own during the week. The memories of that night are still very fresh in Ace’s head. His bones are still in the process of healing.

He sighs, raising a hand to brush through his hair. He can feel the rougher scar tissue slightly rising over the rest of his skin. Thankfully, it’s not evident through his hair.

It’s too early yet to ask Sabo to move back in with him, but Ace will keep that though in mind. And when the time is right, he will ask carefully, since living together was something that had worked quite well for the two of them, even when they’d been young and broke and a little lost.

His phone buzzes and he sees that he got a new text from Sabo. He immediately opens the chat.

And it’s just the monkey-smiley hiding his face in his hands and Ace bites back a laugh. That’s just so…Sabo.

He sends back two emoticons, the one that cries tears of laughter and the other is the smiley-face blowing a heart-shaped kiss.

Hopefully Sabo will be back before Ace gets to his house. As much as Ace likes the beautiful landscape covered in white, he is not up for standing in the snow in front of Sabo’s house waiting for him to return and open the door. The ranger might be in jail now – but god knows what other weirdos walk around the woods.

 

********

 

Ace smiles excitedly and relieved when he sees the car is parked before the house and the windows are illuminated. He can still see the traces from where Sabo moved the car fresh in the snow. Sabo’s fairy-tale-like cottage looks even more magical against the glistening snow-covered landscape. Hardly imaginable that only a few weeks ago, events went down here that could’ve been straight out of a horror film. Ace shudders, repressing the bad memories. This is not the time to dwell on that.

Today is a day to celebrate. And in a few moments, he will be right back in Sabo’s arms.

 Ace’s heart does a joyful leap and he bends down to grab a handful of snow. Then he forms a snowball. And because he is still a 12-year-old at heart, he throws the snowball against the kitchen window, instead of ringing the doorbell.

He waits about three metres in front of Sabo’s door, his bag over his shoulder and the bouquet hidden behind his back. He doesn’t have to wait long until the front door is unlocked and Sabo opens it, leaning against the door frame with a grin.

“Looks like I got another vandal on my property,” Sabo says amused. “I should call the police.”

“But this vandal looks significantly better than the last one, isn’t that right, gorgeous?” Ace grins.

And Sabo’s grin becomes a beautiful smile and he gestures him to come closer.

“Come inside, I’m freezing, you criminal.”

“Perfect, then I can warm you up,” Ace can’t help but reply and Sabo laughs while shaking his head and the blond man steps aside to let him in.

Ace’s eyes wander down his cosy and yet good-looking outfit, a pair of light grey jeans and a navy blue suit jacket that beautifully matches his eyes. Underneath, he wears a plain black hoodie. He looks so unbelievably handsome, as always.

Ace steps over the threshold, careful not to bring too much snow inside, and he’s about to compliment Sabo’s appearance when Sabo’s fingers tangle in his scarf and he’s pulled in for the sweetest kiss ever.

He responds with a smile and he lets his bag drop to the ground – shit, the wine – so he can wrap one arm around the man’s waist. They kiss a little longer, and when they pull back, Ace’s heart nearly jumps out of his chest as he locks gazes with Sabo and god… has Sabo always been so breathtakingly gorgeous?

Before Sabo can say another thing, Ace pulls the bouquet from behind his back and holds it underneath the man’s nose. Sabo’s eyes widen, before he smiles again and he takes the flowers from him.

“Aww, c’mon, you really didn’t need to,” Sabo says with a laugh and a warm glow in his eyes. “But thank you, anyways.”

“It’s nothing,” Ace assures him and shakes his coat off to hang onto the hallstand. “How was your day?”

He follows the man to the living room. Sabo’s living room looks pretty much like before, Sabo tried to make it look a lot like it did before the incident with the deer and the ranger. The sofas are still green and the carpet still crème-coloured. He also managed to save most of his electronic gadgets. But the chairs and table are new, so is the lamp in the corner and the living room table. It feels very cosy and warm in here, and yet it feels slightly different. Perhaps not as homely anymore. And also not as welcoming as it was before.

Ace feels particularly sorry to see the bookshelves that used to bend under the weight of the books, half empty now, because it takes a while to replace all the lost works. Some of them had been pretty rare editions, so Sabo is going to need a while to replace his lost and damaged collections.

Damn the ranger. It’s one thing to dismember a dead deer and ruin the living room; it’s something else if you willingly destroy a collection of literature that was worth a small fortune, solely out of malevolence and lunacy.

Ace, whenever he has time, looks online for any books Sabo hasn’t replaced yet to help him rebuild his personal library. But it will definitely take them a while.

“Work was pretty relaxed. Most of the students went home already, so just two people came to see me during office hours. The rest of the time I could basically just chill and play Dragon Age,” Sabo says with a smirk and Ace laughs, placing his bag on the sofa.

“Sounds like I should tell your colleagues that you’re slacking off at work,” Ace says jokingly.

“Then I’ll tell _your_ colleagues that you send me semi-dirty texts at work,” Sabo replies cheekily and Ace smiles.

He watches how Sabo places the flowers in a vase on the living room table and yes, Ace admires that perfect butt in those jeans, but he lifts his eyes before Sabo can notice.

Well, Sabo notices anyways because he knows Ace, and the blond winks at him flirtatiously. Ace grips his hand to pull the man closer, into a proper, solid hug. He gently rubs Sabo’s lower back and sides and it makes the blond hum in approval.

Sabo had told Ace about his conversation with Luffy a few days ago. The boy had taken it surprisingly well, better than most people would’ve probably done. Ace is glad Luffy didn’t cause any more drama or trouble, and he genuinely feels bad for him – Ace, after all, knows full well how it feels when Sabo breaks up with one. And Luffy was certainly a good guy, and he likes him.

He blinks, a realisation dawning on him. Well, he wonders… there’s someone he knows who would actually match Luffy’s sunshine personality quite well… A certain tattooed surgeon…

“Did you talk to Luffy after…you know, Monday?” Ace asks and he likes how Sabo presses into his touch, a bit like a cat.

“Not really. He went home Thursday, and we didn’t talk anymore,” Sabo says quietly, and his arms around Ace’s shoulders tighten slightly. “But I do feel bad.”

Ace leans back a little to look into the man’s ocean blue eyes.

“But you don’t regret it, do you?” Ace asks, and he tries really hard not to sound scared but –

“Shh! No, of course not!” Sabo says with a frown. “I feel bad, yes, because I hurt him, but…”

And suddenly, Sabo’s hand drifts down to grab Ace’s and he laces their finger together. “But at the same time I’m really happy.”

Ace’s heart does a hard leap and he pulls him even closer again and he buries his face in Sabo’s neck and breathes him in deeply. He can hear the man’s jumping heartbeat, soothingly close and wonderfully alive.

“Ok. S-sorry…,” Ace mumbles while Sabo’s fingers trail up to run through his hair and he closes his eyes at the nice feeling. Sabo gently kisses the side of his head, close by the scar. He lets his lips linger.

“It’s ok. I-I understand, after all… But everything’s ok, Ace. I promise.”

They stand like this for a while, until Ace sighs and straightens up again. And he leans in to give Sabo a long, but innocent kiss against his soft lips.

“I’m starving, and you?” he says after, leaning their foreheads together.

Sabo smiles and kisses the corner of his mouth. “Same. And what should we do about that?”

“Cook or have something delivered?”

“Delivery to here takes more than an hour.”

And Ace’s grin widens. “I think I know how to fill that time…”

 

 

********

 

“I thought you said your driving improved,” Sabo snickers as his car once again increases the distance to Ace’s. His fingers hammer down on the controller. “I’m player 2 and I still beat your ass.”

They sit on the warm and fluffy carpet, next to each other and with their backs against the sofa, but so close that their legs are pressed against each other. Ace can feel Sabo’s body jerk every time he moves as though the movement of his body would increase the speed of his car. Just like all these years before, Ace grins happily, completely distracted by his boyfriend and not at all paying attention to the game anymore.

“I meant I improved my real life driving, not virtual,” Ace replies amused and he tries to get closer to Sabo’s car again, but the blond cheekily drifts around the next corner and then disappears into a tunnel.

Ace’s screen is the top one; the lower one tells him that Sabo just crossed the finish line and indeed won the now fifth race.

Ace sighs as the menu pops up announcing he’s the bitter loser. Sabo grins and then leans in to press a kiss against Ace’s cheek.

“I won again. And I’m not sorry,” the blond says and Ace laughs, wrapping one arm around his waist to pull him half into his lap.

“I know, I deserve this.”

“Pizza should be here soon, though. So, another round or wanna play something else?” Sabo asks.

Ace hums and he pulls at Sabo’s hand until the man goes to settle on his lap completely. It’s so obvious Sabo lost weight, but Ace doesn’t mention it. He gently wraps his arms around the slim waist and Sabo smiles, leaning their foreheads together. His arms come to rest comfortably around Ace’s neck and his warm fingers start to caress his nape. It feels really nice.

“Does it mean you wanna cuddle?” Sabo asks in a low voice, laced with so much warmth and fondness Ace’s heart squeezes tightly and a thousand tiny rockets go off inside his stomach.

“Yes. But also something else,” Ace replies with a quiet smile.

Sabo blinks and nods. His ocean blue eyes are still glowing softly, but his expression has become a tone more alert and Ace carefully chooses his words.

This is a good a time as any to finally ask… He’s been waiting, the question had been burning on his tongue for so long – and yet, suddenly he is afraid, now that suddenly he can ask what happened that night, a question that had been plaguing him for such a long time.

He has Sabo back, the most wonderful man he’s ever met, the most inspiring and kind and beautiful and smart person he has ever had the honour to meet. He has him back; against all odds Ace has him back in his life.

So why should he even bother to look back..?

At the same time, however…he can’t keep going like this, and not know what he did wrong all these months ago, when he proposed.

He wants, no, he _needs_ to know, so he won’t make the same mistake twice. He lost Sabo once. Losing him again…Ace doesn’t even want to think about that.

“Ace?” Sabo asks, a little worry mixing in his voice and the blond gently caresses his cheek. “Are you ok?”

“Ah, yes, of course…,” Ace replies, smiling a little insecurely at him. “It’s, ahm…c-can I ask you something?”

Sabo straightens up a little and his caresses stop. “Y-yeah, sure,” he says, and he’s cautious now.

Ace sighs internally and sends a prayer toward heavens, before he takes a deep breath and says: “I-it’s about…what happened, you know… _that night._ ”

Ace can literally see Sabo’s eyes closing off, becoming darker like the sea when a storm approaches and he already regrets having even opened his mouth. But fuck, now he has to say it anyways…

“Sabo, why… were you so upset that night I proposed? What did I do wrong?” Ace then asks without breathing and his arms around Sabo’s waist tighten because god, suddenly he’s so freaking afraid the man will jump up and leave –

Sabo lowers his head and avoids Ace’s gaze. Although he doesn’t move, Ace feels him shifting away from his touch and it breaks Ace’s just recently recovered heart and he’s about to let his arms drop from around his frame to let him go as he pleases, when Sabo lifts his face again. Ace’s heart aches even more when he sees angry tears threatening to fall.

“Shhh, I’m sorry, ok, you don’t need to answer –,” Ace starts immediately, but Sabo shakes his head and cuts him off.

“No! No, don’t apologise! It’s-it’s just fucking stupid and I hate myself for that!!” he suddenly says fiercely, he’s almost yelling, but Ace doesn’t even blink as he just stares at the man.

“Sabo…”

“Listen, I mean, you have every fucking right to know what was going on, but…but…I…”

And Sabo stops again, taking in a shaky breath, before he continues, a little calmer this time: “That… was my worst moment. Ever. Like…looking back, I wish I could kick myself because I was just such a fool and I hurt you, of all people I hurt _you_ – the one I thought I’d never...”

Sabo rubs his eyes.

“I…when you asked me…you know, when you proposed to me, I… I thought that was the beginning…of the downfall. Yes, don’t look at me like that, I was twenty-two, Ace, for fuck’s sake – and you asked me, out of the blue, you just threw that question at me and I wasn’t prepared for that at all.

“All I…all I could think of was the fact that you are the most amazing man I have ever met and how could I – I, a stupid, silly, average MA student in literature – how could I _possibly_ match someone as brilliant as you?! I hardly manage to like myself – how could I expect someone like you to spend the rest of his life with me? How could I even _dream_ of making someone like you happy? With nothing but myself?”

And Ace’s feels warm tears dampen the sleeves of his jumper and he bites his lower lip as his heart starts hurting like a knife went clean through it. He lifts one shaking hand to gently stroke Sabo’s tear-wet face.

“Sabo-”

And Sabo’s voice cracks when he continues “W-when you asked I-I got so, so _scared_ …Th-that at some point you-you’d grow tired o-of me and regret ever ha-having proposed a-and leave me.. And I-I couldn’t stand the thought…that I had to watch you f-fall out of love with me, and I would have to-to watch you leave for good…

“I…I was so scared o-of not being enough for you that I thought running away was the only thing I-I could do to spare me even bigger heartache.”

And Ace feels his own tears itching in his eyes at that confession and his heart cries inside his chest as Sabo starts sobbing and he claws his hands painfully into Ace’s shoulders. Ace blinks his tears away and pulls him closer, flush against his chest and he can only gently stroke the man’s shaking frame, trembling with the force of his own desperate cries and Ace mumbles: “Sshhh, everything’s ok, it’s over, everything’s ok, Sabo, everything’s alright, I promise…,” over and over, until his voice goes hoarse.

It takes Sabo a long while to calm down and Ace just sits there, rubbing his back and arms and shoulders until his palms feel numb and the last shocks have left the lean body.

Sabo sniffles a little and then he leans away to blow his nose. Ace watches him worriedly.

“Well…now you know…,” Sabo mumbles, his voice broken, looking at him with eyes still red and glassy from his tears. “That’s the reason I made us miserable for twenty fucking months.”

“But-,”

“No, no buts! I – that we were in this fucking situation, it was entirely _my fault_. And then I didn’t even have the freaking courage to apologise to you and it made everything only worse. No, I just ran even further away, and my fucking pride told me for the longest time that I had done the right thing, which obviously wasn’t true,” Sabo says angrily, staring down at Ace’s chest.

“I’m…see, I’m not fucking fit to be your fiancé, less even your spou-,” and Ace’s eyes widen and he immediately cuts him off.

“Shhh, no, stop saying that! Sabo, look at me. Sabo.”

Sabo slowly lifts his eyes again to meet his gaze. There is still so much anger and self-loathing and regret burning in Sabo’s stare and it pains Ace so, so much.

“Sabo, what you did…I’m not going to lie to you, it hurt me. Yes, it did. But that’s in the past. And now I know the reason, so I – _we_ – can move on, isn’t that right?” Ace asks, his voice heating up a little.

Sabo shrugs. And Ace tries a small smile and he gently strokes Sabo’s heated cheek with the back of his hand.

“And if you need to hear this every day, from this day on, I will happily tell you every day. I love you, Sabo. With my entire being, with everything that I am, I love you. More than you can imagine.”

Sabo is about to say something, but Ace won’t let him.

“You are everything I could dream of; you are like all my fantastic dreams coming together in the most gorgeous, wonderful human being I ever met. And I love you, so, so much, Sabo. Please, believe me.”

“But Ace…”

“Flaws and mistakes and fights and fears – they’re part of us, aren’t they? But that shouldn’t stop us, right?” Ace whispers. “It didn’t stop us before, when we were brats and just started dating. We’re adults now. And we should be unstoppable, shouldn’t we?”

And Sabo looks at him, hope and disbelief so evident on his face and Ace smiles and wipes away the last traces of tears from the man’s face.

“I love you with everything that I am, Sabo. I love you, all of you, your entire being, your courage, your kindness, your wit and beauty, both inside and out. Believe me, there is nothing, absolutely nothing to be afraid of anymore. And if there is, we will get through it. Together.”

And Sabo looks at him for a very long moment, and then, finally, he smiles again and then he bites his lower lip and Ace smiles back, cupping his cheek.

“Nothing to be scared of anymore,” Ace whispers and Sabo leans into his touch.

“Nothing to be scared of anymore,” he echoes.

And they are so close already; they hardly have to move to kiss each other.

So they kiss.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut ahead.  
> Enjoy!

**Sabo**

 

They’re comfortably cuddling and kissing on the living room carpet when Sabo’s phone starts buzzing. He pulls away from Ace’s lips – Ace just moves to worship his neck instead, the loving action makes Sabo smile tenderly – and he reaches to his pocket.

“Hopefully the pizza is finally here,” Ace mumbles against his throat.

“Hello?” Sabo answers the call and he’s greeted with the sound of a running engine and howling December wind. “Hello?!”

“Ah – is that Sabo? Ordered two large pizzas?” a raspy, male voice screams against the noisy background.

“Yes, are you here already?” Sabo asks loudly, frowning at the noise. He can hardly understand the delivery man. He scrambles to his feet, ignoring Ace’s disappointed grunt.

“That’s the thing, mate, I can’t get through to your house! The road is blocked and my fucking motorbike literally disappears in this fucking snow!” the delivery guy yells so loud even Ace can hear it. The man raises his brows, half amused, half irritated.

“Wait – what?” Sabo asks confused.

“Pizza can’t be delivered, mate! I don’t even know if I make it back alive – anyways, sorry for the inconvenience! Bye!”

It clicks and the connection is gone.

“What the hell?” Sabo asks, starring at his phone.

“Looks like we won’t get pizza tonight then, huh?” Ace says, standing up. “Well, can’t be helped. Looks like we gotta do something else to satisfy our hunger.”

Sabo can’t believe Ace just said that and notices the man’s arm snaking back around his waist . Ace grins at him playfully. Sabo decides to play along.

“Oh, and what do you mean by that?” he asks innocently.

Ace smile becomes a tone seductive and he pulls Sabo a bit closer.

“Well, we could, you know…satisfy our hunger in a horizontal way,” he starts and Sabo can’t even pretend to be half-serious, he just bursts out laughing because god that sounds soooooo bad, dear lord…

Ace laughs as well. “What, c’mon, it’s not a bad idea,” Ace grins.

“Yeah, no, your phrasing was just… just don’t repeat that sentence _ever_ again,” Sabo replies, still laughing. “It kills every existing mood, I promise you.”

“Has it killed the mood now?” Ace asks with a wink and he pulls Sabo even closer until their pelvises meet.

Sabo grins, trailing one hand down Ace’s chest toward the hem of his shirt – and up again.

“Not really, no. But say something as horribly cheesy and utterly corny again and I might need some time to recover.”

“Hm, then how about you make me shut up?” Ace smirks and Sabo rolls his eyes, before he smiles, grabs Ace’s collar and brings their lips together in a searing kiss.

The kiss starts slowly, carefully, and Sabo likes the way Ace takes his time caressing Sabo’s lips with his own, yes, it just feels so good… Ace’s hand on his lower back presses him in even closer and Sabo sighs, the kiss deepens, becomes more bold, becomes more daring –

“Haah…”

He doesn’t even know it’s him or Ace softly sighing.

Sabo’s head starts spinning from the kiss, from the talented way Ace’s tongue starts sliding around his own, so sinfully deft and god, so good, so hot, Sabo starts feeling dizzy, just downright dizzy from it. The rooms spins harder the deeper Ace’s tongue comes inside his mouth, and Sabo tries to keep up with the man’s impossible pace but Ace won’t let him, he steals his breath and conquers his mouth and Sabo _moans_.

He wraps his arm around Ace’s neck, trailing his hand into his soft mane and the other teasingly dips beneath the hem of his shirt, just lightly caressing the exposed skin and he feels Ace breathe hotly against his lips. Sabo grins into the next kiss when he feels Ace lean heavily into his touch, his knee drifting forward between Sabo’s thighs and he spreads them readily. Ace is demanding _more_ and _closer_ the harder he presses his body against Sabo’s, eliminating all remaining space between them.

Sabo, dizzy and lightheaded, lets his head fall into his neck and Ace’s lips leave his to move toward the exposed skin of his throat and he kisses it with such tender affection that stand in such a contrast to his greedy touch that Sabo feels his chest burn with fondness at the loving ministrations.

Ace manoeuvres him backwards and Sabo has half a mind where they’re going and he’s about to warn Ace but then his back already gently makes contact with one of his new book shelves and Sabo, despite the growing desire burning like fire inside his body, laughs.

“Definitely no, Ace,” he says amused, his hand gently guiding Ace’s head up again so he can look into his already hungrily glowing eyes.

Ace smirks and leans in to gently kiss the side of his mouth. “Why not? Wouldn’t be the first time…”

That is true and yes, Sabo can still recall in great detail what it was like when Ace had fucked him against his bookshelf the very first time. He had refused to do it for so long, but Ace had insisted and after an evening of drinking and groping and making out in their old flat, Ace had just lifted him up against the bookshelf and fucked into him senseless, the prominent book spines leaving imprints in Sabo’s bare back, decorating his skin with the literature titles in flushed blackletters.

Ace had found them so beautiful he’d later traced every single letter with his tongue until Sabo had squirmed and moaned beneath him with the desperate demand for more. They’d always be careful not to soil the precious books, but loving each other with the greatest writers in the history of English literature as their silent witnesses set a fire between them so unlike anything else they’d ever done.

And yes, Sabo is more than willing to do it again, to have his back pressed against the spines of these fantastic works and have Ace thrust into his very core with all his strength – but not tonight.

Ace’s knee carefully rubs against his already half-hard erection and Sabo takes a sharp breath, moving his legs apart a heartbeat later, to give him more room to create that delicious friction. Sabo kisses Ace’s smiling lips and lets his tongue slide against his, slowly, promisingly, but when Ace tries to deepen the kiss he breaks away. His heart thunders loudly inside his chest.

“…Let’s go upstairs, Ace,” he breathes, his fingers tightening in Ace’s hair. “Now.”

 

********

 

Ace’s smile widens and he nods, stepping backwards to give him room and his hand comes to grab Sabo’s. And then, without even waiting, without caring that this is still Sabo’s house and not his, Ace already heads for the door and the hallway and Sabo giggles behind him. He feels his own cheeks burn with heat and through their intertwined fingers he can feel Ace’s heartbeat drumming through his body, even harder than his own.

God, it’s been so long…

Sabo feels his body trembling with anticipation as Ace pulls him up the stairs. His skin already tingles with the desire to feel Ace’s again, naked and hot against his own, and Sabo lowers his face when he notices the heat pool elsewhere, greedy and raw, in his chest and fingers and mouth and between his legs –

Ace enters Sabo’s bedroom before him and Sabo gently lets go of his hand to close the door behind them. They look at each other.

And suddenly…it becomes so real.

It’s been such an unbelievably long time, since the last time they’d been together, before they broke up. And now, that they’re together again… they have kissed and cuddled, made out a bit, but nothing that went above or rather underneath the relative safety of their clothes.

But now… Sabo takes in a shaky breath and approaches Ace. The man watches him with a calm smile on his face that betrays the dazed look of desire in his eyes. Ace’s hands come to gently touch his, pulling Sabo closer. Sabo’s heart beats loudly in his ears, so loud in this silent bedroom, he’s convinced Ace can hear it.

“You ok?” Ace asks gently.

“Yeah. And you?” Sabo asks back, his arms circling Ace’s back and shoulders.

“Couldn’t be better.”

Sabo smiles at that and lifts his face to meet Ace’s lips. They kiss slowly, sensually, gliding their tongues together through open mouths, sharing breaths and whispers while hands travel over shoulders and chests and stomachs, feeling, touching, and caressing each other in the tenderest way. Sabo can clearly feel the need for more, he can feel it burning underneath the thin layer of calmness, but it’s not only overwhelming desire he feels – but also a peculiar nervousness.

He knows this body, he knows Ace’s body so, so well, and after they’ve spend so much time together again; the man is not estranged to him anymore at all. He was when he first turned up in front of Sabo’s door after this long time apart, but now his voice, his kisses, is hands, his smell, his touch have reawakened all the memories in Sabo’s mind, the memories so deeply imprinted inside of him and so dearly, dearly loved Sabo still wonders how he was able to survive without them for so long.

Now, Ace is back. And although Sabo craves to be together with him again, to bring their bodies together in the most ancient way, he also feels a little…insecure and shy.

“Sabo…?”

“I…,” Sabo starts, but then he stops and takes a deep breath. He smiles and looks the man in the eyes. “I’m ok. Just…I still can’t really believe that this is happening.”

Ace’s hands come to a stop on Sabo’s back. “But…are you happy this is happening?” Ace asks, with the faintest worry lacing his words and Sabo blinks.

“Of course I am. You know…It’s just that there was a time I thought this would never happen again. So this is…kinda a miracle, isn’t it?” he replies gently, tracing the man’s strong jaw with his fingertips.

Relief sparks up in Ace’s eyes and he lets out a soft sigh. He gently takes Sabo’s fingers and kisses the tips.

“Then…I’m glad.”

 

********

 

 

Sabo feels his nervousness melt away as their lips meet again and he gently pushes Ace backwards, toward the bed. Ace lets him do as he pleases, he follows his guiding with a look of desire and humour, and when Sabo breaks the kiss to playfully shove him to sit on the mattress, Ace doesn’t resist.

“…Ok,” Ace breathes, and his voice quivers with amusement and a hidden laugh.

He looks up at Sabo. Sabo’s gaze trails down Ace still clothes, but already crumpled appearance. Crumpled from Sabo’s hand, and only his… His eyes move to the evident bulge in Ace’s jeans. He feels his heartbeat quicken and he unconsciously licks his lips. Ace must’ve noticed though, and when they look at each other again, the man smirks: “I’m all yours.”

Sabo smiles and steps in front of him, right into Ace’s waiting arms and he leans down to press a heated kiss to Ace’s lips. Ace kisses back hungrily, a soft growl vibrating against Sabo’s tongue. Sabo gasps a little and Ace pushes his tongue in further, he’s not forceful – but powerful, the way his deft tongue swirls around Sabo’s, hot, hungry and determined. Sabo staggers, his legs grow weak, and his hands cling to Ace’s shoulder for support. He’s of half a mind to just settle on Ace’s thighs, but on the other hand –

On the other hand, he wants to give Ace pleasure in a way he hasn’t experienced before – he wants to make him completely lose control and bask in this absolute pleasure Sabo wants to give him…and that means…

He slowly ends the kiss, leaning back slightly, and Ace’s hands are on his waist. His lover looks up at him, with eyes blown wide and dark with desire and Sabo shudders at the pure, raw want in his eyes. He swallows.

And then he slowly lowers himself to his knees, between Ace’s thighs, but Ace’s hands guide him to stand up again.

He looks at Ace in confusion.

The man grins at him sultrily, leaning forward slightly, and eyeing Sabo’s body up and down.

“…Don’t you want to take off your clothes first?” Ace asks in a low, warm whisper that sends pleasant chills down Sabo’s spine.

“Ace…”

Ace winks at him, and he leans backwards on his hands. “Sabo,” he just breathes. His voice is thick with need and Sabo’s heart jumps inside his chest. In one swift motion he shrugs his blazer off his shoulders and throws it over the back of his desk chair.

He locks gazes with Ace. With trembling fingers, itching desperately to feel the other man’s skin, he grabs the hem of his hoodie. And he pulls it over his head, slower than he’d usually done. He takes the shirt underneath with it. He pauses for a moment, letting Ace take in the sight of his bare upper body. He might not be as muscular anymore as he used to be – but Sabo knows full well that he’s still fairly nice to look at. At least that’s what Luffy used to say all the time…

“…Keep going,” Ace says into the tightening silence and Sabo passes him a brief, nearly mocking smile. And he slowly unbuckles his belt, letting it drop to the floor next to his feet.

His heart beats so strong he thinks it echoes from the walls as he opens his jeans and slowly slides the fabric down his legs. And when he kicks the trousers and his socks away, he stands in front of the man, his first man, and only the thin layer of his boxers separate Sabo’s stirring cock from Ace’s hungry eyes. The warm air inside his room is like a loving caress on his skin, and yet he stiffens when Ace looks at him, his eyes so dark and glowing with desire Sabo’s feels his knees weaken at the mere sight.

God this…even without touching him, this already feels so intimate…so intense…

“Come here…,” Ace whispers.

“Then take off your shirt, too,” Sabo replies smugly, crossing his arms, despite feeling the draw inside of him, tugging at his feet to move forward.

There’s nothing else he wants more right now than have Ace’s hands on him, feel Ace’s touch on every single part of his body – but he also wants to see the other man bare himself in front of him. He still remembers, with shocking detail, how Ace looked like when he got out of Sabo’s shower that fateful night. And god, the image has branded itself so deeply into Sabo’s head that now, at the prospect of seeing it again, the heat returns to Sabo’s cheeks and his cock stirs with great interest.

Ace snorts, but doesn’t move a finger. The smile he gives Sabo is downright forbidden as he sultrily says: “Come here and do it yourself…”

Within a heartbeat Sabo is there with him again, kissing him like his life depended on it and his fingers run through Ace’s hair, angling his face up to crash his lips against Ace’s and he can feel Ace’s satisfied grin, before the humour is replaced by a low hiss and a tongue greedily curling around Sabo's.

Sabo gasps when Ace’s hands move downward; they run up and down the sides of his legs, before coming around and grabbing the back of his thighs and his fingers are like fire on Sabo’s skin, the most desired burn he’s ever wanted to suffer –

Ace pulls, gently forcing Sabo’s thighs apart and Sabo goes to straddle his lover’s lap, pushing his hips forward until they meet Ace’s and when both their hardening arousals touch, soft, needy moans escape both their throats. Sabo looks down into Ace’s handsome face, flushed from the actions, and his lips pull into a seductive smile as their gazes meet. Ace’s hands slowly move around Sabo’s body to cup his ass. God, has that always felt this good..? The simplest touch, sending wave after wave of primal pleasure through Sabo’s body and wiping away every last trace of shyness and insecurity.

This is what Sabo wants. And god, _yes_ , he feels it is what Ace wants, too, the evidence pulsing hard and stiff against his own cock…

“Ok…?” Ace asks in a low voice, his hot breath ghosting over Sabo’s heated skin.

He swallows, but nods. He leans their foreheads together, for a brief moment of tenderness, despite the blaze of arousal coursing through his body and this animal instinct inside of him, ready to finally be unleashed.

“Yes. And you…?” Sabo says gingerly, his fingers gently threading through Ace’s hair.

“Of course…”

They smile at each other and Sabo’s heart skips inside his chest, with fast, hard jerks it beats an oddly vulnerable feeling through him and Sabo feels himself lean even closer to Ace and for a second the raw desire is outweighed by something else, something so much stronger and more powerful and it dawns on him…

As though his heart had just waited for his head to finally catch up.

Sabo bites his lower lip as he feels the sudden wave of overwhelming affection and fondness burn in his eyes, and for a second the world blurs with tears. Ace starts frowning, but Sabo shakes his head, gently placing a finger against the man’s lips to quiet him.

They lock gazes and Sabo smiles. And then he whispers the words that have been waiting to be said for almost two years.

“I love you, Ace.”

Ace’s eyes widen for a moment, before his expression becomes one of warmth, hope and gentle vulnerability. The smile that settles on his gorgeous lips is so genuine and happy and relieved that Sabo’s heart squeezes painfully inside his chest. Ace lets out a soft sigh and then he laughs and kisses Sabo’s finger and gently pulls it away so he can speak.

“I love you, Sabo,” he whispers, his voice nearly breaking with emotion.

And as though it was the most natural thing in the world, they angle their heads to the side to kiss again, slowly, tenderly, relishing in the exquisite feeling of worshipping each other’s lips with the utmost care.

 

********

 

Sabo feels Ace’s hands tenderly run up and down his bare back, all the way down to knead his ass, but whenever Sabo pushes into his hands, Ace trails them up again, to trace the line of his spine, the canyons beneath his shoulder blades and the faint crevices of his back muscles. Sabo likes the feel, arches into it to keep him going. When they break the kiss to breathe, he doesn’t wait and instead kisses his way down Ace’s throat. He breathes in the familiar musky scent and presses open-mouthed kisses to Ace’s flawless skin, a few hues darker than his own. Ace leans into him, turning his head to give Sabo’s hungry lips more space, and Sabo gets the hint – he starts licking and sucking the same spot again and again, until the exploited skin shows reddish colouring proof of his lewd interest. Sabo smiles satisfied when the hickey starts blossoming beautifully dark against the deeply tanned side of Ace’s neck.

His trembling hands go to unbutton Ace’s shirt and then, when he finally pushes the annoying piece of clothing down Ace’s muscular shoulders, he doesn’t even notice how he lets out an impatient exhale. Only when the other man’s body starts vibrating with laughter he looks up.

“Eager, aren’t we?” Ace says, leaning forward to kiss Sabo’s jaw. “I like it.”

“Che…,” Sabo makes.

They kiss again, Sabo hungrily opens his lips to thrust his tongue against Ace, and Ace is all up for the game, as he wraps one arm around Sabo’s back to cradle the back of his head, guiding him on with gentle force, and the other comes to the front to sensually slide across Sabo’s bare chest. Sabo sighs when Ace’s talented fingers caress his nipples, his whole body arches into his delicious touch, and the nubs harden under the dearly anticipated ministrations.

Sabo rocks his hips forward, when he slides his tongue forward to swirl around Ace’s, and then he retracts again, only to move forward the next heartbeat. He mimics the rhythm of sex, as Ace very well notices, Sabo can tell, because his kisses become greedier and his own pelvis meets every of Sabo’s movements with the same vigour, pushing their hard arousals together to create a friction so naughty and hot Sabo bites back a needy groan.

Ace’s hands move down – Sabo wants to tell them to come back up, to continue on his chest, but no, Ace grabs the back of his knees to pull him even closer, as close as they can be without them taking off the rest of their clothes, and Ace’s hand wanders to Sabo’s ass, and his bold fingers greedily trace the cleft and purposely rub against Sabo’s twitching entrance – and Sabo _moans_.

“Haah…Ace,” he breathes, momentarily distracted from their kiss. Ace’s lips latch onto his throat and where he continues his passionate adoration with wet, open-mouthed kisses and soft bites to Sabo’s pale skin.

Sabo feels his underwear growing moist and his hips start to stutter and just desperately rub against Ace’s hard erection, still hidden behind the thick fabric of his jeans, and it reminds Sabo of his initial task. He gently urges Ace to let go and the man looks up at him with half-lidded eyes, so dark with raw hunger Sabo’s stomach tightens and the impossible heat curls low in his belly and at the same time he feels this ancient, well-known need inside of him, the craving to be loved and filled to his very core –

“Sabo…,” Ace mutters, his voice raspy from lust. With one swift movement, he shrugs his shirt off.

Sabo takes a shaky breath and smiles at him. And then he carefully gets off of Ace’s lap to kneel between his legs and this time, Ace doesn’t stop him, only watches him silently, with his fingers clawing into the sheets.

With eyes locked, Sabo’s hands reach up to unbuckle Ace’s belt. He slowly pulls it out from the loops and lets it fall to the ground next to him. Then he opens the button. And after taking in a sharp breath, he pulls down the zipper and pulls down jeans and underwear until Ace’s cock is free – and it’s the first time Sabo sees it, since almost two years, and he shudders…but certainly not out of fear…

“You ok?” Ace whispers.

Sabo nods. And without any preamble, he leans forward and licks the tip, his hand closing around the erection and Ace hisses above him, but moves his legs apart to give him more room to move. Sabo starts pumping his cock, his fingers tightening around the silky skin, and he lets his tongue swivel around Ace’s head and licks the leaking slit. The precum tastes salty and rich and a thrilling, bold feeling starts rising in his chest, making his heart jump and jolt with excitement.

Sabo smiles and flattens his tongue against the base of Ace’s cock and them slowly trails it up, with his hot breath hitting the moist skin and he can feel the hard erection jerk in his hold. He does it again. His left hand gently cups Ace’s balls to rub them and Ace hisses. He stiffens the tip of his tongue and explores the veins on the underside, worships the velvet skin, licks and kisses the tender flesh. He feels good doing it, no, even better, he feels amazing being here, giving Ace such pleasure and making him feel just how much Sabo admires and loves that gorgeous body of his.

Ace’s hand wanders into his hair, but he doesn’t push him, just holds him gently. Sabo looks up into his familiar face, and the satisfaction makes him bolder. God, what a treat it is, to see Ace’s eyes slide close with pleasure and his red lips part with a throaty moan, all just because of Sabo and his tongue and fingers…

He is painfully hard himself, throbbing inside his already damp underwear, but he doesn’t move to give himself any relief at all, although his hands itch to rub himself – this is for Ace, and he wants to make it good. So Sabo looks up to see Ace glance down and when their gazes meet, Sabo kisses the tip of his cock, eliciting another gasp from Ace. His face is flushed with arousal, his eyes half-lidded and dark, although a dangerous, wanting fire burns within him, and his gaze alone already feels as though his heated, wicked fingers were marking their ownership on Sabo’s skin. Sabo feels his heart jerk with longing and unconsciously, his thighs spread even further apart, already inviting the man to come between them soon.

Sabo’s right hand pumps the hard flesh, he licks his lips and the slowly lets the hard manhood slide into his hungry mouth. Ace’s cock is heavy and pulsing on his tongue; and Sabo takes him deeper, pressing his tongue against the underside and he feels Ace’s fingers tightening in his hair. He lets him slide back out, only to take him in again, even deeper, and he hollows his cheeks around him. His eyes slide close in bliss.

He can feel Ace jerk inside his mouth, although he can’t take him all in, and he keeps rubbing and stroking the base that he can’t swallow just yet. More salty precum coats Sabo’s tongue and he lets Ace’s cock slide out again and he laps up the underside, he feels the veins rising beneath him, and he angles his head around to suck on the sides, pressing hard kisses to the saliva-wet skin. He returns to the head, and sucks it back into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it like it was the most delicious treat in the world and then he swallows him down again, even deeper than before, so deep his throat starts tightening around the intrusion. He starts bobbing his head up and down, increases the pace, and if it is even possible – he feels Ace swell even more inside his mouth. Tears starts forming in Sabo’s eyes, but his own cock jerks and he thinks he might come just from this, seeing Ace fall apart with pleasure, all just due to his touch…

His left hand goes to rub Ace’s balls again and now the man shifts, the grip on Sabo’s hair carefully guiding him backwards. He lets Ace’s cock fall from his lips.

“Sabo…,” Ace breathes. His voice is rough and thick with arousal.

“Ace…”

He sees how Ace swallows hard and then the man grabs his wrist and guides him onto the bed. Sabo can’t believe how weak his knees have become as he slumps onto the mattress without any grace and within a heartbeat Ace is above him, his lips slamming onto his own, stealing the breath from him. Sabo’s head, still fuzzy from the blowjob he just gave, has it hard even forming a coherent thought and when Ace lets go off him, hovers above him like a predator, Sabo hears him whisper.

“I want you.”

And these words alone are enough to make Sabo fall back into the pillows entirely, and his legs open up, inviting Ace to come where he wants him the most…

 

**Ace**

 

His heart beats like crazy inside his chest, his blood roars in his ears as he moves forward, until he kneels between Sabo’s quivering legs. Sabo’s hair is fanned out over his pillows, and his pale skin makes such a stark contrast against the night blue of his sheets. He looks so intangibly gorgeous Ace forgets to breathe as he can just look in complete marvel at the man he lost his heart to all these years ago.

Sabo’s deep, ocean blue eyes shine with such fire and intensity it’s like looking into the mysterious depths of the ocean, his handsome face is flushed, his lips red from their fierce kissing and the scar covering the left side of his face – it is just one more detail on his ethereal body that makes the man unique and if anything, only more fascinating.

Yes, fascination is the right word.

Ace has been fascinated by Sabo, since the very first time they met, when they had been nine years old, children, one sunny but windy afternoon in their small home village. They’d been friends first, and finally went out years later, when they’d been seventeen. To Ace it feels, as though his whole life had had Sabo in it, which is true, of course. It just... makes him realise… how much he has missed Sabo during the time they had been apart, since his heart had long forgotten what it had been like not having Sabo as a constant in his life. And now that he has him back – Ace really realises how much the lack of his presence had weighed on him. It’s truly been a misery, but it is all in the past now. The end of an impossibly long night.

“Hm?” Sabo hums, as the silence stretches between them. Ace grins guiltily. He really can’t stop acting like a love-struck fool, can he? But honestly, who could blame him? 

“You’re beautiful,” Ace breathes and god he adores when he sees how Sabo’s blush deepens, and a silly smile appears on his puffy lips.

“Th-thanks…,” he says shyly.

Ace smiles and leans down. His hands return to Sabo's warm skin, he feels the soft tremors in his body, he can feel the heartbeat thundering through him, and he loves when Sabo arches into his touch. Ace’s fingers move downward, to tease the skin right above the hem of his boxers. His erection tents the fabric, he can even see a moist patch colouring the underwear darker at the tip. He smiles, his finger slowly, agonisingly slowly moves to rub Sabo’s head – still behind the underwear – and Sabo lets out a throaty sigh, his hands lifting to grip the pillows next to his head. His lips part and his chest rises and falls with the deep breaths he takes.

Ace smiles, lifting his finger again and Sabo’s hips follow his movement, rising up and off the sheets, as if trying to keep even the smallest contact, and Ace can’t have him arch so sensually without a reward, and he goes to caress Sabo’s muscled abdomen again. His abs are not as defined anymore as they used to be, but the hard muscles are still clearly visible beneath the flawless skin. He slides his hand up, toward Sabo’s heaving chest. His nipples are reddish from his early attention, and stand pert and erect, as though asking for more. Ace licks his lips. His gaze moves toward Sabo’s face again and they smile at each other.

“I love you,” Ace repeats the words from before. Even letting these words roll of his tongue sends a thrill through his veins. Even after all this time…

Sabo’s smile widens and he lifts one hand to cup his face. “I love you, too,” Sabo whispers and Ace’s heart jumps inside his chest, so overjoyed he believes his ribs might crack from the sheer power of his beats.

Hearing these words again…after he’d believed to never hear them again, from anyone, least from this very man – hearing these words again sends a fire through Ace’s body, loud and ecstatic and absolutely enchanted, because after all this time of grief and heartache, the man he loves most in the world, tells him what he wants to hear: That he loves him, too.

And without waiting another second, Ace leans down to capture Sabo’s still smiling lips in a searing kiss.

 

********

 

His hands, like led by invisible forces, wander aimlessly over Sabo’s body, tracing every line, crevice, scar and rift, he maps out every inch on this glorious body, a body he always thought to be crafted by a heavenly artist, it’s how breathtakingly gorgeous Sabo is, both inside and out.

Sabo’s tongue curls around Ace’s, trying to control the pace of the kiss, but Ace won’t let him, too long it has been since Ace was able to feel Sabo in every way possible, and tonight, he wants to give Sabo pleasures in a way he hasn’t experienced yet in his life, and won’t ever again with anyone but Ace, if it lay in Ace’s hands. And so he hungrily sucks on Sabo’s tongue, pushes his tongue deeper into his wet, velvet cavern until Sabo gives up and lets him dive as deep as he pleases, until he breaks away to give them a moment to breathe.

Sabo’s glances up at him, his hot breath comes in pants and his pupils are blown wide with lust, they nearly swallow all of the blue. Ace feels his cock throb at the look of pure, honest desire in Sabo’s eyes and he pushes his hips forward, until their cocks brush against each other.

They both gasp at the friction, but then Ace feels how Sabo tries to wiggle away.

“Off,” Sabo pants and it takes Ace a moment before he gets it.

He nearly forgot, that’s how invested he was in the kiss. He grins seductively, and his hand reaches down to palm Sabo’s still clothed erection.

“You’re leaking already,” Ace smirks, despite not being any better, if anything, he’s just as hard and desperate. “Just from a few kisses?”

Sabo grins back, and his own hand closes around Ace’s rock hard cock and squeezes tightly, making him moan and buck into his fist. “You’re one to talk.”

They look at each other, and then Ace leans down, tracing Sabo’s lips gently with his own. His fingers start pulling down Sabo’s briefs and a heartbeat later, Ace slides the last bit of clothing off Sabo’s long, slender legs and he throws it to the side. He’s about to kiss Sabo’s throat, but Sabo shakes his head, glancing down at his crotch.

“Why should I be the only one naked?” he asks playfully, tugging at Ace’s jeans.

He is right, so Ace momentarily stands up to get rid of the rest of his clothes, with Sabo’s burning stare warming his skin. When he returns to his lover, as bare as the day he was born, Sabo’s arms are already open and waiting and he gladly goes to lie down on top of him, skin on skin, pressed together as close as possible. A delighted shiver runs down Ace’s spine and he smiles at Sabo.

This feels…just like heaven. Perfect, simply perfect.

Ace presses his lips to Sabo’s neck, he bites and sucks the pale skin with altering force, sometimes he barely brushes his lips against the warm flesh, sometimes he bites nips and slides his tongue over the abused flesh. Sabo moans softly, one of his hands tangling in his hair, whilst the other wanders to the small of his back, digging his fingers in impatiently.

When Ace moves downward, a large hickey now decorates Sabo’s neck, right above his racing pulse, and for the time Ace is here he will make sure to reinforce it every single day, so by the time he leaves, Sabo will have the mark for another week or two, to show off to the world.

Yes, Ace may be a gentleman, but even he sometimes feels the urgent need to create these carnal marks of affection on the skin of his beloved.

He slides his bare cock against Sabo’s again, retracts, and then does it again, giving him a taste of what is to follow soon. Sabo’s hips meet each of his moves, urging him on. His thighs are already spread, just wide enough for Ace to fit. The insides are flawlessly white and impossibly soft and cool to Ace’s touch. He smiles excitedly, because at the end of this night, he wants to have the most beautiful marks blossoming on Sabo’s legs…

He returns his attention to Sabo’s chest. He licks over Sabo’s nipple, and he likes the feel of the hardened nub against his tongue, he loves how sucking on it makes his lover arch of the bed, into his greedy mouth, and his left finger goes to play mercilessly with Sabo’s other nub, he rolls it slowly in his fingers and Sabo gasps, louder than before. He glances up.

Sabo’s face is flushed crimson now, but he smiles when he notices his gaze. In the dim light of the night stand Sabo’s skin looks like covered in honey, as though his body was formed out of nothing but delicious, warm gold, shining with a sheen of sweat, and reddish there, where the skin was assaulted by Ace’s relentless lips and tongue and teeth.

So gorgeous…so dazzling, like the sun.

Ace presses a long, loving kiss against Sabo’s lips, and then he travels down, kisses a wet, slow trail down Sabo’s throat, down his chest, he licks over the fresh marks, and continues southward, to his abdomen. He slides further down the mattress, and his broad shoulders demand more room and Sabo slides his feet across the sheets, spreading his legs further apart and Ace smiles. He presses hard, passionate kisses to Sabo’s quivering abs, and his hands briefly brush over Sabo’s cock, but he won’t give him relief so easily. With his name a whisper on Sabo’s lips, he slides his hands to the inside of Sabo’s thighs. He gently spreads them even further apart and pushes them up against Sabo’s chest.

Sabo lets out a small hum and follows his silent request. He lets his knees fall open completely, and now leaves him completely spread before Ace, as exposed as he can be, the most intimate parts of him bared in front of Ace. His entrance twitches.

Ace’s heart does a jump into the stratosphere at the look of pure seduction in front of him and his cock jerks with interest. Not yet, he… no matter how much he wants to join their bodies in the most ancient way, he wants to wait. Sabo’s pleasure is more important.

He presses a lingering kiss to the inside of Sabo’s thigh, and the skin is so wonderfully soft underneath his mouth…It feels so good… He kisses the ivory skin again, harder this time, and he opens his lips to slide his tongue against the snow-white surface…

He hears Sabo sigh and falling deeper into the pillows as Ace lavishes enthusiastic attention on the insides of Sabo’s thighs. His right hand keeps pumping and rubbing Sabo’s cock slowly, thumbing the head, while his lips slide over every inch of his delicious skin, trying to leave not a single area unmarked. God he just tastes heavenly…

“Ace…,” Sabo moans above him, his voice growing a little impatient.

He gives Sabo’s left thigh another bite before he looks up. Sabo’s gaze is almost a glare. Ace grins, satisfied – his right hand is already slick with Sabo’s precum. He hasn’t let either of them cum yet.

“Hm?” he feigns oblivion and presses a ginger kiss to Sabo’s abused skin.

“Do…something else…,” Sabo pants, his cheeks colouring even a deeper shade of red at his own words.

“Fufu, what do you want me to do?” Ace continues to push him and Sabo raises a brow.

“I –”

But Ace won’t let him even say another word as his hands grip the back of Sabo’s knees to push them even further up, nearly folding the thankfully lanky and flexible man down in the middle. His ass is completely exposed like that and Ace gently guides Sabo to hold his own legs open like that.

Sabo’s eyes widen as he finally realises what Ace wants to do – and he looks like he is about to transcend into heaven at the prospect.

Ace smiles and winks at him. And then licks his lips again.

“Keep your legs up,” he breathes.

Then he leans down to slowly lick Sabo’s twitching entrance. The sound that reaches his ears can only be described as raw, heated want and he feels how Sabo tries to arch up into him, despite his constricted position. Ace glances up to see how the man’s had has fallen into his neck, exposing his vulnerable throat and the dark red marks spur Ace on only more.

God he will make the man fall apart and come together. He will break him and build him back up, the way only he is able to do, with the most exquisite, unbearable pleasure Ace can inflict on him.

And he has the entire night.

 

********

 

He licks over Sabo’s entrance again, his hands grabbing Sabo’s thighs close by his buttocks, to help him keep his legs up and spread, and at the same time to press him down into the mattress. A moan escapes Sabo’s lips and Ace grins.

By tomorrow morning, Sabo’s voice will be beautifully raspy and hoarse…

He stiffens the tip of his tongue and draws slow, tantalising circles around the puckered bud. The colour is rosy, and enticingly inviting against the paleness of the surrounding skin. He flicks his tongue up for a moment, teasingly lapping at Sabo’s tight balls, but then he dips down again, flattening his tongue against the tight entrance. He wonders how long it’s been since Sabo had someone inside of him. From the looks of it…it’s been a while.

Not that it’s a problem for Ace. If anything, he just has another excuse to draw this out as long as possible.

He licks over the clenched muscles, again and again, before he closes his lips over the quivering bud and sucks long, hard kisses into it. Then he flicks his tongue out again, feeling Sabo writhe underneath him and he presses the man down into the mattress as he feels him push up into his tongue again. Sabo’s throaty moans become louder in his ears; every time he slides his tongue over his entrance the man gasps and groans.

Ace dedicated all his attention to Sabo’s entrance, he licks and sucks the reddening bud with every expertise he possesses. He can feel his lover’s body tremble beneath his hold, he can feel him pulsing, he sees his cock jerk and leak even more precum, every time Ace drags his tongue over the softening entrance.

“Haaah…Ace…”

He leans back a bit, to give Sabo time to breathe and he swiftly rolls to the side of Sabo’s bed. He pulls the bottom drawer of Sabo’s nightstand open – he’s fairly sure; Sabo hasn’t changed this essential habit of his, to store his lube and other respective gadgets and items there. Yes, he grabs the bottle of lube and returns to his beloved. He’s of half a mind to get condoms ready – but then again, they have all the time in the world.

Ace quickly uncaps it and pours a large amount into his hand. He slicks his fingers up, and warms the clear liquid for a few seconds, before he returns to Sabo. The man watches him impatiently, and he even wiggles closer and this time, Ace doesn’t let him wait. He immediately goes to lick his hole again, and his right hand closes around Sabo’s cock.

A soft cry escapes Sabo’s lips and the sound is music to Ace’s ears, as he starts pumping and squeezing Sabo’s stiff cock with just the right pace and strength. Sabo desperately attempts to buck into him, but Ace withdraws his tongue, every time his lover tries to be bold. He feels how Sabo tries to grab his wrist to urge him to go faster, but the man also has to hold his legs open for him to continue licking his ass – a string of curses fills Ace’s ears and he looks up to see Sabo’s blue eyes burning with both annoyance and lust.

“If I…were you… hah, Ace… _haaaah_ …I would…hurry up,” Sabo whispers between laboured pants.

“Or else?” Ace asks smugly, massaging Sabo’s cock and pressing a kiss to Sabo’s now quite soft and pliant entrance.

“Else you…haaaah… will sleep… _nnggh_ on the couch,” Sabo manages to say, before his eyes slide close and his lips open in a soft moan.

Ace’s tongue has finally thrust inside the tight and unbelievably hot channel, and the strong muscles clamp down on him.

He slides his tongue as deep as he can, and retracts again, to feel Sabo’s body jerk and his internal muscles quiver and clench even harder around him, to keep him inside. He smiles and plunges his tongue back into him, he slides it around, curls and flicks it up and down, the way he remembers Sabo loves. His chin is wet with his own saliva, but he doesn’t mind, not when Sabo’s voice becomes louder and he feels him trembling beneath him, and Ace is sure the man is close, the way his body tenses up and his toes start curling with the well-known intensity.

He pushes his tongue back in again and sets a leisure rhythm, in time with the pumping of Sabo’s cock. Like this, he could hold Sabo on the verge of orgasm forever – if he wanted to. But not tonight. Tonight, he wants to make the man feel heaven.

“Ace…,” Sabo groans and he sees how the man’s grip on his own legs becomes so strong he leaves reddish imprints on his own body. “God…Ace…close…”

Ace grins, retracting his tongue, only to thrust it back in and he picks up speed, his tongue ravishes Sabo’s soft and slick hole and his right hand pumps the leaking cock and naughtily rubs the slit – and with a muffled cry, Sabo arches off the bed and Ace feels liquid warmth spurt into his fist. The man’s body starts shaking beautifully beneath him, rocking through wave after wave of intense pleasure.

Ace licks around Sabo’s hole to extend the orgasm, and after a few long moments, Sabo’s body relaxes and he lets out a low moan, dark with exhaustion. Ace blinks up. Sabo looks down at him, through hooded eyes, but a small, blissful smile rests on his lips.

“Feel good?” Ace asks coming back up to him.

He leans their foreheads together and Sabo can finally let go of his tense legs. With a sigh he places them on the mattress again and his arms wander around Ace’s shoulders, holding him tightly and he scatters butterfly kisses over Ace’s neck and jaw.

“Very good,” Sabo whispers. Ace’s heart jumps happily and he presses a long kiss to Sabo’s soft, puffy lips. Sabo is always so sweet after coming. That, too, hasn’t changed at all.

Ace’s mouth wanders to Sabo’s neck again, to mark the skin just right below his earlobe, and he hears Sabo’s soft laughter in his ears. The man traces the line of his spine with his fingertips, and up again, to his neck, and tugs playfully at his hair. Ace licks over the salty flesh, feeling Sabo’s still rapid heartbeat drumming right beneath the flushed surface. He stops for a moment, to wipe away the rest of cum and lube from his fingers, and he grabs the bottle again to pour more into his palm, and over Sabo’s still slick and glistening opening, red from Ace’s relentless tongue. Sabo moves uncomfortable as the cold, thick lubricant makes contact with his skin, but as soon as Ace starts rubbing his fingers over his entrance and warms it up, he relaxes again.

Ace lifts his head to look in Sabo’s handsome face. His lover meets his gaze with a pure, loving smile, although a shade of anticipation and lust is darkening his eyes again and he moves his thighs apart, to give Ace as much space as possible.

“You really ok?” Ace whispers, his nose brushing tenderly against Sabo’s and Sabo laughs.

“Of course. And you?” he asks back. His hand closes around Ace’s hard cock and Ace can’t suppress a moan as his long neglected erection is rubbed and massaged by Sabo’s talented fingers. Urgh, no, if Sabo continues… His own hand still toying with Sabo’s ass slows down, distracted by the pleasure pulsing through his cock…

“…Ha… If you keep doing that…,” Ace groans, his hips bucking forward into Sabo’s fist, like he was an eager teenager.

“Fufu…We can’t have that, can we, old man?” Sabo snickers and Ace rolls his eyes. But before he can say another word, Sabo rubs his forefinger right over Ace’s slit and he grits his teeth.

“Who are you calling….nnngh old man?” he replies and in revenge, he pushes his own finger into Sabo’s loosened channel.

The reaction is immediate.

The muscles clench promisingly around his finger, and Sabo’s eyes slide close, his hand stops and a sensual gasp escapes his lips. Ace grins, gently teasing his finger deeper, spreading the lube around and searching for that certain area inside, the one that makes Sabo see stars and speak another language –

“Ahhhrg…. _Ace_ …,” Sabo suddenly gasps, tensing up and his channel clutches onto Ace’s finger for dear life, contracting with such intensity Ace’s hand stops. His grin widens. Sabo’s hand claws into Ace’s wrist, forcing him not too subtly to continue.

His blue eyes only open enough so that he can look at Ace and mumble: “Again.”

Ace presses his lips to Sabo’s, pulling his finger out, only to thrust it in again, a little deeper this time, and it’s like his body remembers with shocking precision just where to touch and rub and move, to make Sabo moan into the kiss and his body respond to Ace’s with such arousing vigour that the mere sight nearly makes Ace come undone.

Soon Sabo grips Ace’s fingers now, the request clear, and Ace happily fulfils his wish and lets a second finger enter alongside the first. He curls hs tongue around Sabo’s, at the same pace as he thrusts into Sabo’s fluttering hole, and soon their bodies move together in a perfect symphony that ignites a fire on Ace’s skin, inside his body, sending blaze after blaze of raw desire through his core, and washing away every rest of doubt. The way Sabo’s body fits so perfectly into his, the way the man slides his tongue around his own with such erotic finesse it leaves him breathless, the way he moves his hips sensually into every thrust of his fingers, nearly riding them – Ace’s heart thunders so loud inside his ears, his blood is roaring in triumph and for a short second he wonders if he actually died and went to heaven because this is perfect, this is everything he’s ever wanted and the universe gave in and gave him all, and even more.

Sabo breaks away from the kiss to lick over his throat and he bites his skin, hard this time, but not enough to actually hurt him. It’s more a feeling than a command, but Ace shudders pleasantly nevertheless when one single word reaches him:

“More.”

He nods, moving downwards again to lick over Sabo’s still hard nipples, and he carefully enters three fingers at once. Now, for the first time tonight, his lover lets out a small sound of discomfort and Ace halts, his three fingers halfway in. The hard muscles flutter around them and a well-known convulsion rocks through Sabo’s abdomen, as though he was fighting with his body’s reaction of pushing the three digits back out.

“You ok?” Ace asks a little worried when Sabo’s face turns stern and he keeps unusually still. He breathes slowly. “Sabo?”

“Y-yeah…,” Sabo murmurs. “I just…need a moment…”

Ace doesn’t move and instead keeps pressing apologetic kisses against Sabo’s slowly rising and falling chest. He can still feel his muscles clench hard around him, attempting to push him out. Sabo lets out a low curse and then falls back into the pillows, breathing very slowly and deeply. The impossible tightness loosens up bit by bit and Sabo lets out a sigh.

“Sabo. Talk to me,” Ace says gently, and he kisses the exposed throat. “Are you ok?”

“Haa…yeah…,” comes the breathy reply and Sabo blinks at him. “You can move…but slowly, please.”

“Of course,” Ace smiles, kissing his silky lips lovingly, and he pulls his fingers back only a little, before he pushes them back in, further this time. He moves his wrist and angles his fingers up a bit, he pushes even deeper – and finds that particular spot again that will make Sabo forget all of the discomfort.

He smiles when Sabo’s shallow breathing becomes louder with the new pleasure coursing through him, and Ace continues to rub his spot until Sabo’s hands fist into the sheets and his hips thrust up, into his fingers, to increase the friction. Sabo's cock is hard again and lies proudly against his trembling abdomen, the head is glistening with shining again. Ace bites his lower lip, remembering his own hard and aching cock still waiting for attention.

He moves back up, to press his lips to Sabo’s jaw. “Sabo…,” he just murmurs, he is almost surprised to hear his own voice so dark with arousal and desire and need. “I…”

“I know,” Sabo says a little breathless.

Ace can feel Sabo’s feet move across the mattress once more, spreading himself open as good as he can. “I want you.”

Ace’s heart squeezes with happiness, but at the same time… a shy blush rises to his cheeks and he slowly pulls his fingers out – Sabo’s tunnel clenches wonderfully around him – and he sits back on his heels.

They look each other in the eyes. Ace wonders if he looks the same to Sabo: Cheeks flushed, lips red and swollen from their kisses, skin marked darkly and the pure hunger darkening his eyes. Sabo, in any case, looks so wild and beautiful Ace has to concentrate on his words to get them out correctly, although all his head wants to pay attention to is his lover bare and gorgeous before him.

“You…I mean, do you…shall we…use protection?” Ace asks clumsily and internally he slaps himself because he sounds like a damn teenager again.

Sabo actually looks like he tries to bite back a laugh as he replies cheekily: “You had to pick the best moment, right?”

Ace snorts, his hands gently wandering over Sabo’s thighs. He is painfully aroused, god he wants to be one with Sabo again, he wants it so much, but he needs to know…he needs to make sure…

“Are you clean?” he finally asks with a sigh.

“Yes. And you?” Sabo replies instantly.

“Yeah. S-so do you, uhm….” Ace tries to ask, but his clumsy courage fails him this time. He looks into Sabo’s face. His lover grins knowingly.

And suddenly Sabo’s arms wrap around him and he’s pulled forward, so his cock brushes up against Sabo’s and they both gasp at the contact. Sabo’s lips are close to Ace’s ear.

He whispers: “Come inside me, Ace.”

And that is enough to send all remaining worries overboard.

**Sabo**

 

Ace’s lips are on his own again, kissing him like there was no tomorrow. Not unlike his fingers, his tongue comes deep inside of him, licking deeper into his mouth with such sinful expertise it leaves Sabo dizzy and breathless and trying hard to keep up. Ace’s hands are everywhere, except where Sabo wants them the most – between his legs and rubbing that spot inside of him that makes his skin melt with more pleasure than he can take.

They slide deeper into the sheets, kissing, sucking each other’s tongues and hands wandering over sweat-slick bodies. Sabo tries to wrap his legs around Ace’s waist to give him a hint – when his thighs are stopped and he stops to look up at him.

Ace’s eyes are so dark he can’t see the pupils anymore, and there is fire inside them, such pure and raw hunger Sabo’s hole twitches at the sight. Ace smiles sultrily and then he leans back, away from Sabo’s touch.

“Turn around for me, please,” he asks in that low, husky voice, dripping with want.

Sabo blinks, he feels shy heat colouring his cheeks up to his ears. _Really…?_

He swallows hard, his own heart is suddenly so impossibly loud inside his ears, he believes to hear it echoing from the walls. Sabo needs a moment to regain control over his weak limbs, but then, with a bit of effort, he turns around. Ace helps and pushes two pillows underneath his abdomen, lifting his ass up in perfect invitation. Sabo hides his burning face in the remaining pillows. This is so… freaking embarrassing and erotic at the same time.

He hasn’t been in this position since…he can’t even remember.

He hears Ace shifting and then he moves across his back, pressing him into the mattress with his weight, as he kisses Sabo’s neck and brushes his hair away from his forehead. Sabo closes his eyes when he feels Ace’s lips on his pulse and his hand wandering around his body to grab his aching cock.

“This ok?” Ace asks him.

Sabo is close to rolling his eyes. This is just so…Ace. The man looks at him like he is two seconds from slamming his cock inside his hole and fucking the very life out of him – and then he’s the sweetest man again and asks him if he’s ok and kisses him like he was made of glass and touches him like he was more fragile than a butterfly’s wing…

Sabo snorts with humour.

This is Ace. _His_ Ace. And all of the above are just more reasons to fall in love with him again, all over again.

He turns his face to look into Ace’s concerned face.

“It’s perfect,” Sabo says muffled into the pillow and Ace smiles genuinely. He presses a kiss to Sabo’s temple and lets his lips linger a moment longer.

“I’ll make you feel good,” he whispers.

Sabo sighs happily and reaches for Ace’s hand to lace their fingers together. He kisses his knuckles and mumbles back: “You already do.”

 

********

 

Ace kisses his neck, and each of his shoulder blades, before he lets go off him for a moment. From between his bangs Sabo watches how he pours the lube over his bare cock. Ace sees him and smiles again. His loving, adoring gaze stands in such a contrast to the wild lust radiating from his gorgeous body. Sabo can’t even help but smile back and within a heartbeat, Ace is above him again, his lips pressing open-mouthed kisses to his back.

“Ready?” the man asks against his skin.

“Yeah,” Sabo breathes back, his eyes sliding close.

Sabo’s hands curl into the sheets and pillows and his heart jerks with excitement when he feels Ace’s cock rub against his entrance, without breaching yet. The heat alone, the knowledge that it’s Ace makes Sabo’s muscles clench with greed, and his knees slide over the mattress, spreading him even more, inviting Ace in, to the place where he wants and _needs_ him the most.

He hears Ace breathe in sharply and the pressure against his hole increases. Sabo relaxes; he feels a heavy hand land on his waist, holding him steady. And then Ace pushes inside and slides home.

Hot.

So hot Sabo thinks his insides are melting. God it feels…it feels…

His muscles clamp down around him, but not to push him out, but to keep him in, drag him even further inside, and a low, long moan escapes him when Ace’s cock grazes against his spot. White stars start flashing before his eyes and he bites into the pillows. His cock jerks and he’s sure precum is leaking from him obscenely, but it feels good, no, better, a thousand times better than in his memories, than in his dreams, this is Ace…

_And he’s inside me again…_

Ace stops as he is completely seated inside of him, thick, long and pulsing against Sabo’s quivering walls. He falls on top of him again; his hand covering Sabo’s to twine their fingers together. He pants into Sabo’s ears and then he gasps:

“God…the way you feel…,” and the sound nearly makes Sabo come on the spot.

Ace waits a few minutes longer, until Sabo is fully used to him, and Sabo feels impatience building up inside him. He rocks back onto Ace’s cock, clenching his muscles, and he hears the man curse. He does it again. God, he needs that cock, and he needs it deeper, _faster –_

“Sabo..,” Ace moans, and his hand lands on the small of Sabo’s back, pressing him down so he can’t move.

Sabo frowns.

“Move, Ace,” he bites out and Ace bites his neck.

“Let me,” he says darkly, his hand sliding around to Sabo’s front to grip his cock again.

And so, Sabo lets him.

Ace draws back, almost out of him and Sabo clenches – and is rewarded when Ace pushes forward again, slowly but steadily, and Sabo’s breathing hitches. He can feel every inch of him stretching him, filling him to his core. The hand on his cock pumps slowly, not unlike his thrust, and although Sabo wants him to go faster, speed up all his movements to create that perfect friction that sends him to the stars – he also wants Ace to take his time and draw this out as much as possible, because this is for both of them, this isn’t just sex…

It’s making love. No matter how cheesy it sounds, but Sabo’s tender heart is thundering inside his chest, not only because his body is joined again with the man of his dreams, but very much because it is Ace, and because he loves Ace so, so much, more than he could every put into words.

And he wants to make Ace know, understand, feel it with every cell in his body just how much he means to Sabo.

Ace thrust back into him and Sabo meets his stroke with a clench of his internal muscles around the thick cock inside of him and the reaction is Ace’s hand clenching around his own erection and a soft curse fills his ears. He smiles and does it again, and Ace’s pants start echoing in the room, together with the sound of flesh slapping against flesh and Sabo’s muffled groans.

He can feel himself peaking, he desperately tries to thrust into Ace’s cock and he cries out when Ace starts hitting his spot very. single. time. he. strokes. inside. and he grits his teeth.

His hand flies to grab Ace’s arm, he digs his nails into his skin and the words spill from his lips, without control…

“God…please… _hhaaahn_ … _Ace_ …faster… _please_..!”

And suddenly Ace slips out of him and Sabo turn in protest when two strong hands grab him and flip him on his back and Ace is there, between his legs again, pistoning inside with a force that leaves Sabo dizzy and moaning.

His hands fly to claw at Ace’s shoulders as the man thrusts so hard into him he’s pushes up against the head of the bed and his cock twitches, he’s close, so close, his legs wrap around Ace, hold him closer, _close –_

The orgasm hits him like a tidal wave, his body arches up as Ace thrusts right into his spot and his cock jerks, ribbons of white splash onto his chest and Sabo’s vision is enlightened by a dozen white blinking stars and his body trembles with a pleasure so strong and intense his voice stops working, his mouth hangs open with a silent moan and his heart drums inside him loud and hard.

His muscles clench uncontrollably, wild around Ace’s cock and the man resumes thrusting, he pistons his cock into him and it’s too much, too good, Sabo tries to turn away when Ace’s arms suddenly wrap around him, he’s pulled flush against the man’s chest and Ace strokes inside, as deep as he can, so impossibly deep inside him, and then he stills with a jerk.

Sabo groans when liquid heat starts filling him up, and the orgasm beats through Ace’s body. The man groans, hiding his face in Sabo’s shoulder, his cock pulses inside him. Ace’s muscles tense up and hold him in place and Sabo embraces the man until the intense aftershocks have stopped and he hears him breathe again.

 

********

 

Sabo gently strokes the back of Ace’s neck and hums. He can’t see it well in the dim light, but he is sure he has decorated the man’s back with long scratches and red crescent moons. Ace isn’t moving yet. He still hugs Sabo like he was afraid he might disappear if he let go. Sabo is fine with that. The cock inside him has softened, but it doesn’t feel necessarily unpleasant. Sabo wants to give Ace all the time he needs to calm down.

At some point Ace sighs and slowly loosens the tight hug. He leans back and Sabo smiles tenderly when he sees the shy, vulnerable expression on his lover’s face. Like that, he looks so young…

“A-are you…ok?” Ace asks, and his voice is hoarse. “I-I mean…”

He blushes adorably and looks down. Looks like he just realised he is still…

Sabo laughs softly when Ace carefully pulls out and he feels how warm, thick semen starts to leak out. Ace gently moves him around on the mattress and pulls the duvet over them. Sabo smiles at the precious care. Ace comes to lie down next to him, his arm wrapping comfortingly around his back. It feels really nice.

And familiar.

“I’m fine, Ace,” Sabo says, his hands stopping Ace’s frantic attempts to make him rest as comfortable as possible.

Ace smiles happily and lifts his arm. Sabo moves closer and lays his had comfortably on Ace’s broad chest. He listens to the calm, deep heartbeat within, such a soothing sound, and he realises that their hearts beat in the same rhythm.

“I’m glad,” he says, his voice vibrating with joy.

Sabo gently kisses his lips.

They rest for the longest time, but when Sabo is almost falling asleep, a deep growling reaches his ears. He blinks, looking up.

“Ah, sorry. Guess I’m still hungry,” Ace whispers softly.

“Pfff, so satisfying your hunger in a horizontal way wasn’t enough for you?” Sabo mocks his words from earlier and Ace laughs now, his chest quivering with cheerfulness.

Sabo props himself up on his elbows to look into the handsome face he adores so much.

“So, what do you want? I do have pizza in the freezer,” he says. To be honest, he could have a bite or so himself…

“Hm...sounds good,” Ace hums, but doesn’t make a single move to get out of bed.

Sabo rolls his eyes, and he slowly sits up and swings his tired legs over the mattress.

“Lazy bone. Alright, I prepare pizza and you change the sheets.”

Ace smiles, sitting up himself now. “Sounds good.”

Sabo pulls on his underwear and pulls the hoodie over his head. That’ll suffice, the house is warm. He is about to walk down the stairs when he suddenly feels a warm arm wrap around him again in a tight hug and he laughs when Ace nuzzles his neck. Sabo moves his hand up to caress his freckled cheek.

“Miss me already?” he grins, turning his face to give him a peck on his lips.

Ace is cheeky and turns it into a real kiss. They both linger for a moment and when they pull back, Ace’s eyes are so full of love and light, Sabo’s heart squeezes with fondness.

“I love you,” Ace says.

And Sabo smiles, kissing him again.

“I love you, too.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the epilogue! 
> 
> Thank you all so much for your patience and lovely encouragement!
> 
> I hope you all had as much fun reading this story as I had writing it.
> 
> If you'd like to chat with me about fics or anything else really, feel free to talk to me through tumblr: http://raftelcalling.tumblr.com/
> 
> Please enjoy!

_**(A year later)** _

**Sabo**

 

“Babe, where are you?” he hears his lover’s call from the living room.

“I’m here!” Sabo yells back from the bedroom.

He sat down for a moment – they have been carrying heavy boxes and furniture the entire day. It’s late afternoon, the sun has disappeared already and it looks like it might freeze tonight. The living room still looks like it was just looted, but their bedroom looks fairly cosy already. The king-sized bed is already put up and the mattress is new. Sabo just covered the duvet and pillows with new cases, so they’ll get a good night’s rest after this chaotic weekend.

He did forget how much work it is to move in together, especially together into a new flat. Which meant they both had to move their stuff out of their old apartments into the new one. An annoying deal, but thankfully they got it all done without too many complications. And thanks to their amazing friends, of course. Law actually just left about half an hour ago.

“You alright? Should we get take-away for dinner?” Ace asks, coming into the bedroom. He even looks handsome with dust and grime still sticking to his tanned skin. If anything, he just looks like an adventurer, as Sabo notices approvingly.

“Yeah, sounds good,” Sabo replies, looking up from the cardboard box he just found. It looks like it's one of his, but there’s no name on it –

“Ah, wait!”

“Huh?” Sabo asks in confusion as he tilts the box upside down and a few old CDs and a few apparently broken pens and pencils fall out – and a small, dark blue velvet box.

Sabo blinks.

“Uhm…I think that was my box,” Ace says, coming to sit on the mattress next to him.

“Ah, crap, I’m sorry,” Sabo mumbles, but his eyes are still glued to the box. He has this very strong feeling…that it’s not the first time he has seen it. _Oh wait..._

He frowns, looking at Ace.

“Hang on, isn’t that…?”

Ace is quick to pick it up from the mattress.

“Listen, I know you don’t want to see this thing again, but –”

Sabo’s eyes widen and his heart jumps inside his chest.

“Oh.”

Ace’s face colours red. “I-I’ll just put it away, forget about it –”

“No, wait… c-can I…see it?” Sabo asks, and he feels his own face heat up now. Ace smiles a little worried and nods. He hands him the box and Sabo, with trembling fingers, opens it. He gasps.

The ring is gorgeous.

Silver, with a sapphire incorporated. It looks…just amazing. Ace does have good taste, indeed. Must’ve also cost a fortune, from the looks of it… He feels Ace’s worried gaze on him. He looks up and smiles at his beloved.

“It’s beautiful.”

Ace smiles back, but he still looks shy and concerned, and Sabo’s heart clenches with the old guilt. He thinks about it for a moment, before he gives Ace the ring back. Ace’s face actually darkens with disappointment and Sabo’s chest tightens. He stops when Ace is about to turn around to put it back into the cardboard box.

“Wait, Ace?”

“Hm?”

“Would you…p-put it on me, please?”

 

**Ace**

 

His heart is beating so damn fast he is sure half of his ribs are cracked by now. He stares at his lover. Sabo’s handsome face is flushed, but he looks serious otherwise. Ace’s fingers clench around the ring box.

“A-are you sure?” he asks and Sabo nods, smiling at him.

“I-if I’m allowed, of course…”

“Yes! yes, naturally, i-it’s yours after all,” Ace breathes and he nearly drops the box. With shaking fingers he takes the ring out of the velvet bedding and then he gently lifts Sabo’s slender hand.

He slides the silver ring onto his right ring finger and it is a perfect fit, it seems. The silver and sapphire are stunning against his pale skin; Ace stops breathing, his heart clenching with emotion.

Sabo lifts his hand, examines the view. God, the blue of his eyes matches his ring beautifully.

“…It looks good on you,” he manages to say and Sabo smiles, tears gathering in his eyes.

And suddenly the man lunges forward to hug him, his arms are wrapped tightly around Ace’s shoulders and a soft sniffle reaches his ears.

“Sabo..?” Ace asks surprised, returning the hug. “Are you ok…?”

“Of course! Just…! Damn, why are you…so amazing?” Sabo asks and then he leans back again, wiping away the tears.

And then he grips Ace’s hand, lifting his hand to kiss his knuckles.

“D-do you…still want to marry me…?” Sabo suddenly asks in a low voice, shaking with emotion.

Ace’s heart stops working.

“Sabo..?”

“B-because…I-I’d love to give you a ring, too…if you would w-want me to…,” Sabo says, his face now crimson red, but his eyes are bright and shining.

He smiles at Ace. “P-please?”

And this time it’s Ace who pulls the other in for a bone-cracking hug and he replies:

“Yes! God yes, _yes_ , a hundred times yes!”

And they both laugh, looking at each other and Ace lifts Sabo’s hand again and kisses the ring.

“Does that mean…we’re engaged now?” he asks cheekily.

And his beloved smiles and nods.

“I think it does.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End.
> 
> So, again, thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked the story.
> 
> Special thanks again to xTheCherryx, who was the first to hear of this idea, and who was just amazing. Thank you so much for encouraging me, for listening and exchanging ideas and thoughts and for being so amazingly inspiring and motivating. You're amazing and I hope you enjoyed this story!
> 
> And of course, thank you to all the readers for their encouraging words and for spending their time reading this story.
> 
> I hope to see you again in the sequel, which will be a LawLu-centred story. The title will be "Call Of Eden".
> 
> Obviously, Ace and Sabo will appear in it as well. A small hint: The sequel starts right where this epilogue ends.


End file.
